Nun But The Brave (A Giulia Driscoll Mystery Book 3) by Alice Loweecey Page B

remotely enough.”
    “Yo, Maria,” Zane said in his natural Humphrey Bogart baritone.
    Giulia laughed at the incongruous juxtaposition of Bogie and Stallone.
    “All right, one more. Brace yourselves.”
    A stocky male of medium height and waist-length dreadlocks faced the camera straight on. “I’m twenty-six, blood type A, in good health, no STDs. The men in my family have strong male sperm, so we have a good chance at breeding several sons. Reply with your health record, blood type, and a list of the staple dishes in your repertoire. Include your pelvic dimensions as proof you’re able to bear and raise strong sons.”
    Giulia couldn’t speak for several seconds. Sidney had collapsed to the floor, laughing so hard she had trouble catching her breath. Zane clutched his chest and staggered to one of the client chairs like a bad actor in an overwrought death scene.
    “Ms. D., you remember how I said I love this job? I take it back. This job is the best job on the planet.”
    Sidney gasped from the floor, “I wonder how many replies he gets?”
    Zane said, “You caught a real survivalist there. He’s looking to make the two of you into a breeding pair for the apocalypse. A new Noah’s Ark might be on scaffolding in a hidden cave as we speak.”
    Giulia’s stupor shattered. She closed the dating website. “Out, you two. I’m morally bereft at the present moment, which makes this the right time to send past due invoices to our few recalcitrant clients.”

Twenty-One

      
    After supper, Giulia walked Frank through the dating site research. He reacted exactly the way Sidney had. Giulia sat back against the couch, arms crossed, and waited.
    A few minutes later, Frank clawed himself up off the floor and put his ginger head on her shoulder. “Babe, this is priceless. Show me the videos, please, I’m begging you.”
    “Not in your wildest dreams. I deleted them.”
    Frank raised clenched fists to the sky. “Noooooo.”
    “Yes. They were horrific. However, the last one, the one who hoped the future of humanity resided in my hips, gave me a lead.”
    Frank’s arms dropped. “You contacted the nutcase?”
    She gave him the stink-eye. “Be serious. My client’s missing sister might have gone Prepper. I know which pits of virtual depravity she joined, and I spent my afternoon in said pits.”
    She opened the first site. “Tonight you will be my moral support as I see who’s attracted to my alter-ego, and we will hope at least one of them went for Joanne too.”
    “Hold that thought. I need a beer for this.”
    Giulia groaned. “Sure, drink a Murphy’s in front of me. Your progeny has stopped my intake of alcohol and caffeine.”
    Frank stood in the archway between the kitchen and living room, took a long drink from the cold bottle, and said, “A good Catholic would offer it up.”
    Giulia threw a soccer ball pillow at him.
    Frank became positively giddy as Giulia navigated the sites. On the mainstream site, the one with the least hits, men were determined to charm her with their pets. Giulia counted nine photos with dogs, four with cats, one with a ferret—“Didn’t ferrets go out of style in the 1990s?”—and two with boa constrictors.
    “One of those snake guys should have posed himself like that Nastassja Kinski poster from 1982.”
    “You know the year it went on sale? You were,” she calculated, “four years old.”
    “Certain images are generational. Every male of my acquaintance owned that poster. It was a twelfth birthday rite of passage.”
    “There is still so much I don’t know about you.” Giulia kissed him on the temple.
    “How else can I keep you interested? I have to compete with your first husband.” He waited a beat. “Jesus? You know, The Big Guy? Hard sandals to fill.”
    Giulia laughed so hard she choked. Frank set her laptop on the coffee table and thumped her back.
    “I will—ha ha ha—say a rosary—bah ha ha—for you.”
    Frank said, “Only one?” which sent her