Nun But The Brave (A Giulia Driscoll Mystery Book 3) by Alice Loweecey Page A

something to quote at you to mess with Sidney. Okay, to work. I need access to Joanne’s accounts on those three dating sites we signed me up for. Here is her email address and a list of her possible usernames. I place them in your skilled hands.”
    Hollow laughter came from the same throat that produced the baritone song. “Hush the gallery. The maestro is about to conduct a symphony.”
    “I’ll get any incoming calls.”
    From her own desk, Sidney said, “Thanks, Giulia. I didn’t have time to pack a lunch and I’m starving.”
    The phone remained silent for the next forty-five minutes while Sidney left and returned with a sandwich bulging with cheese and sprouts. At minute forty-six, Sidney said from her desk, “Check your own profile on all three sites.”
    Giulia leaned left to see around her monitor. “It’s been less than three hours.”
    “Trust me.”
    She logged in to the off-grid site first. “Fourteen? Already?”
    “Not bad. Any D-pics?”
    Giulia fell back in her chair. “You have got to be kidding me.”
    Sidney and Zane ran in. “You did?”
    Giulia reached for the keyboard. “I was reacting to the idea. Now I’m afraid to click any of these mug shots.”
    Her loyal staff said, “Do it. Do it. Do it.”
    She reached for the mouse. “I’m sending you two out for eye-bleach.” A click. “He’s fully clothed. I’m safe.”
    Sidney pointed to the screen. “Click the other tab.”
    Click. “Oh, my dear God.”
    Zane peered at it. “Photoshopped.”
    So did Sidney. “Sure?”
    He outlined the length. “See that edge? Look behind it. The wallpaper pattern is smeared.”
    Sidney leaned in. “Son of a gun. What a loser.”
    Giulia said in a plaintive voice, “May I delete him now?”
    “Yes, with extreme prejudice,” Sidney said.
    Giulia clicked through eight more profiles without genitalia assaulting her eyes. The tenth, however…
    “Whoa. That’s real,” Zane said.
    “I need to lie down in a dark room,” Giulia said.
    “Every comment in my head is not safe for work,” Sidney said. “Except this: My swim team captain got twice that many, but she showed mega cleavage in her picture.”
    “All right.” Giulia straightened up and grasped the mouse. “I am an adult. I can handle this.”
    She clicked again and again. Six more photos appeared in her queue, three with movie camera icons next to them.
    “Videos, oh, yes, videos,” Sidney said. “Zane, you should probably leave the room.”
    “I have seen the nadir of masculine crassness. Besides, you couldn’t drag me out of here without seeing these guys in action.”
    Giulia said a quick mental prayer to St. Jude, the patron saint of hopeless causes, but in her heart she knew she wouldn’t get out of the office today without seeing shaky-cam of some stranger’s naughty bits. Then she clicked the first video.
    A black light. A mirror. A thumping bass soundtrack. A camera panning at its leisure up the length of a tall, hairy male.
    “Oh, my God.”
    She clicked the big red X icon on the video at least twenty times in three seconds, just to make one hundred percent certain it stopped. She believed in ripping a bandage off fast, so she clicked video number two right away.
    This prospect wore a t-shirt at least one size too small to emphasize his sculpted torso. He tried the same effect with his jeans.
    “Stuffed,” Zane said.
    “Totally,” Sidney said.
    The Vision in Musculature spoke. “Yo, Maria, I got what you want.”
    “I was sure his voice would be at least an octave lower,” Giulia said.
    He continued, “I bench 335. I fix stuff. I build stuff. I got a full-time job and I got this.” He gestured toward the stuffed jeans. “You’re gonna love hookin’ up with me. Let’s do it.”
    The video ended. Sidney’s head was buried in her arms on Giulia’s desk. Her body shook with laughter.
    Zane made a dismissive noise. “Steroids.”
    “Being handy around the house is not enough,” Giulia said. “Not