nowhere by Marysue Hobika Page B

However even with the warm sun soaking into my skin, I shook. My skin was covered in goose bumps.
    “Here,” without hesitating, he pulled me against him and tucked me underneath his arm, “I’ll warm you up.”
    Being close to him, I warmed instantly, and my worries vanished. It felt right being in his arms. I relaxed and rested my head on his perfectly chiseled chest. 
    The swim, the sun, and the strong arm wrapped around me, equaled perfect harmony. In fact I was so comfortable that I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I drifted off to sleep. 
    “I had fun today,” someone whispered in my ear.
    I recognized the husky voice, even in my dreams—James’ voice. It was such a wonderful dream that I didn’t want to wake up. I groggily shifted to brush my hair out of my face. I gasped when I touched hard muscle that was too real to be part of a dream. I quickly sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees, feeling self-conscious. I was still wearing only my bra and underwear. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
    “Don’t worry about it. It was nice holding you.” He sat up. His green eyes practically sparkled in the sunlight. He pulled a curl and absentmindedly twirled it around his finger
    I couldn’t move. I focused on breathing—in and out. It was difficult to form a single thought while sitting so close to him. My mind was telling me to get dressed and yet my heart was telling me to stay where I was. Quietly I said, “I had a great time today. I felt so safe, so right, in your arms.” He continued to twirl my hair. I rarely shared things about myself, but today I wanted to. I added, “I haven’t been sleeping well since my dad died unexpectedly, over six months ago. I’m lucky if I can fall asleep at all, and when I do I never sleep for more than an hour or two at a time.”
    James took my hand in his. “I’m happy that you feel so comfortable with me. I feel the same way about you, like a part of me has always known you, even though we just met.” He brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed it. “I’m sorry about your dad. Were you close to him?”
    “Yes. He understood me when no one else did.” I gazed into his kind eyes. They were a clear, bright green color. I took a deep breath and continued. “We had a big fight the morning of the day he died. I’d come down the stairs wearing a really short skirt and a tight blue T-shirt. I knew it wasn’t something I should wear to school, but I didn’t care. It was the first thing I saw so I pulled it on. I was running late, like always. My dad threw a fit and refused to let me leave the house. I argued with him, saying some pretty awful things. I was pissed at him for making me change. I stormed out of the house, refusing to acknowledge him when he called out to me. I was in the worst mood all morning at school. I felt horrible about my temper tantrum and the mean things I’d shouted at my dad. I was going to apologize later that evening. Only I never got the chance. Just after lunch I was called down to the office. I took my time, thinking for sure it was in reference to my short skirt. The principal instructed me to sit down, and I could tell by the somber look on his face that it had nothing to do with what I was wearing. He carefully explained how my dad had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. A taxi came to pick me up and I rode in stunned silence to meet my mom and Emma, who were already at the hospital. Emma had stayed home from school with a headache. The traffic on the freeway was especially bad that afternoon and by the time I arrived, it was too late. He’d died. There was nothing they could do. I’ve always thought that if only I hadn’t argued with him, maybe his blood pressure wouldn’t have skyrocketed, and he wouldn’t have died.”
    James gently wiped tears off my cheeks. I didn’t even know I was crying. “It’s not your fault, you know.”
    Deep down inside, I knew it wasn’t, but it was easy to