this?”
He turns and looks at me.
I say, “Keep your eyes on the road, if you don’t mind.”
He goes, “Oops. Sorry. I find you distracting.”
Please. I say, “Quit trying to be cute. Would you just answer my question?”
“I’m not trying to be cute. I just am cute.” Oi jes am cute.
I’m not going to respond to that in any way, shape or form.
There’s a pause while he realizes that he’s not as charming as he thinks he is. He clears his throat. “Okay. Why am I doing this? Two reasons. One: Kay asked me to. She’s running that hostel all by herself since Joey died. She needs all the help she can get. So when she wants me to do something, I do it.”
I put my hand on my chest and say, “Well, she must be absolutely delighted to have a knight in shining armour like you to look out for her!”
I can tell I pissed him off. Good.
He says, “That’s not what I meant.”
I go, “Oh. Sorry. I guess it just sounded that way. And number two? What’s your other reason?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I guess I like a challenge. Least I thought I did—until you came along. I mean, what’s your problem?”
“ My problem?” I can’t believe this guy.
“Yes, your problem. I’m this normal nineteen-year-old male and every time you see me you scream like I’m some crazed perv just desperate to”—he wriggles his neck back and forth—“have his way with you.”
I should have known he wouldn’t be able to resist bringing that up again. Fine. I made a mistake. Score one for Levi.
“So what’s that all about?” he says.
My lips go tight. My chest cramps up. He must think I’m delusional, like I’m under the impression guys can’t resist me or something.
He goes, “Tick-tick-tick. Would you like to use a lifeline?”
Hilarious. He’s putting me on the spot. He’s making me feel bad. I don’t want to talk any more.
“Hunh? What’s that all about?” He says, “Come onnnnn!” like I’m a baby and he’s trying to get me to toddle across the room.
I can’t stand it any more. I blurt out, “I wouldn’t scream at you if you didn’t keep sneaking up on me all the time!”
He gets this look of total shock on his face. He sits there shaking his head, with his mouth hanging open, his eyes bulging. He looks like he should be put in a home and just taken out on weekends.
He says, “You’re some big on yourself, girl. You think I’m spending my days tracking you down? That what you think? Can we please just review the facts? First time, you flagged me down.Second time, I’m up on some frigging jeezly ladder with my earphones in, minding my own business, when I hear this god-awful caterwauling. I didn’t even know you were there until you started screeching! I was forty feet away! What could I possibly do to you? I can’t even spit that far! Then the last time, I’m just walking into The Dairy Treet for a cone…”
“Oh, yeah? Really? The ice cream machine was broken!” I’m an idiot. Why did I say that?
He laughs. “What’s that supposed to prove?”
That you make me uncomfortable. That you make me do stupid things.
“Nothing. I’m just saying.”
“Fine. Mind if I go on?…So, even though, unbeknownst to me, the ice cream machine was broken, I walked into The Dairy Treet…”
“With your girlfriend …”
Shut up, Robin! It’s so obvious what you’re thinking. Just shut up!
“Krystal’s not my girlfriend! And what difference would it make to you if she was?”
He’s glaring at me. That bruise probably makes his eyes look greener than they are. (Mimi’s makeover guy always puts purple eye shadow on green-eyed people.)
“None,” I say. “None whatsoever.” I point at the road. “Now will you please just drive.”
He laughs like I’m pathetic and goes, “Anyway…then you start screaming at me…”
I go, “Because you made me spill ketchup and Coke all over myself!”
“Right. I made you spill everything…And did I make you throw
He turns and looks at me.
I say, “Keep your eyes on the road, if you don’t mind.”
He goes, “Oops. Sorry. I find you distracting.”
Please. I say, “Quit trying to be cute. Would you just answer my question?”
“I’m not trying to be cute. I just am cute.” Oi jes am cute.
I’m not going to respond to that in any way, shape or form.
There’s a pause while he realizes that he’s not as charming as he thinks he is. He clears his throat. “Okay. Why am I doing this? Two reasons. One: Kay asked me to. She’s running that hostel all by herself since Joey died. She needs all the help she can get. So when she wants me to do something, I do it.”
I put my hand on my chest and say, “Well, she must be absolutely delighted to have a knight in shining armour like you to look out for her!”
I can tell I pissed him off. Good.
He says, “That’s not what I meant.”
I go, “Oh. Sorry. I guess it just sounded that way. And number two? What’s your other reason?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I guess I like a challenge. Least I thought I did—until you came along. I mean, what’s your problem?”
“ My problem?” I can’t believe this guy.
“Yes, your problem. I’m this normal nineteen-year-old male and every time you see me you scream like I’m some crazed perv just desperate to”—he wriggles his neck back and forth—“have his way with you.”
I should have known he wouldn’t be able to resist bringing that up again. Fine. I made a mistake. Score one for Levi.
“So what’s that all about?” he says.
My lips go tight. My chest cramps up. He must think I’m delusional, like I’m under the impression guys can’t resist me or something.
He goes, “Tick-tick-tick. Would you like to use a lifeline?”
Hilarious. He’s putting me on the spot. He’s making me feel bad. I don’t want to talk any more.
“Hunh? What’s that all about?” He says, “Come onnnnn!” like I’m a baby and he’s trying to get me to toddle across the room.
I can’t stand it any more. I blurt out, “I wouldn’t scream at you if you didn’t keep sneaking up on me all the time!”
He gets this look of total shock on his face. He sits there shaking his head, with his mouth hanging open, his eyes bulging. He looks like he should be put in a home and just taken out on weekends.
He says, “You’re some big on yourself, girl. You think I’m spending my days tracking you down? That what you think? Can we please just review the facts? First time, you flagged me down.Second time, I’m up on some frigging jeezly ladder with my earphones in, minding my own business, when I hear this god-awful caterwauling. I didn’t even know you were there until you started screeching! I was forty feet away! What could I possibly do to you? I can’t even spit that far! Then the last time, I’m just walking into The Dairy Treet for a cone…”
“Oh, yeah? Really? The ice cream machine was broken!” I’m an idiot. Why did I say that?
He laughs. “What’s that supposed to prove?”
That you make me uncomfortable. That you make me do stupid things.
“Nothing. I’m just saying.”
“Fine. Mind if I go on?…So, even though, unbeknownst to me, the ice cream machine was broken, I walked into The Dairy Treet…”
“With your girlfriend …”
Shut up, Robin! It’s so obvious what you’re thinking. Just shut up!
“Krystal’s not my girlfriend! And what difference would it make to you if she was?”
He’s glaring at me. That bruise probably makes his eyes look greener than they are. (Mimi’s makeover guy always puts purple eye shadow on green-eyed people.)
“None,” I say. “None whatsoever.” I point at the road. “Now will you please just drive.”
He laughs like I’m pathetic and goes, “Anyway…then you start screaming at me…”
I go, “Because you made me spill ketchup and Coke all over myself!”
“Right. I made you spill everything…And did I make you throw
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