any reasonable person would do under the circumstances.I gack like a cat spitting up a mouse carcass. In the time it takes Kay to get me a glass of water, I manage to pull myself together. This cannot happen. There is no way I’m getting back into a car with that guy.
I do that “No, no, I couldn’t possibly” thing, but Kay won’t hear of it.
She keeps going, “It’s no trouble is it, Levi?” and then scrambling around getting a little “picnic lunch” ready for us. Whenever she turns away, I give Levi the evil eye, but he just puts up his hands like this is completely out of his control. He is so irritating.
Kay goes into full Anita mode. She’s sort of pushing me to eat some cornflakes and telling me I should bring my bathing suit and then when I say I don’t think I’m going to want to swim (i.e., expose my thighs), she totally ignores me and says that I should actually put my suit on here because she doubts there’ll be a place I can change at the Port. It’s really hard to get a spoon to my face without unleashing my armpits so I just take a couple mouthfuls, then dump the rest of the cereal out, clean my dish and head upstairs as if I’m going to get dressed or something.
I sit on my bed for a while and fume. I wonder if this is why the lip-smacking girl gets up and out so early? How come Levi doesn’t bug her ? I mean, okay. Thank you for the drive—“drives,” whatever—and I’m sorry I punched you in the face and everything but will you please just leave me alone?
I’m going to say that to him. I may as well. I’ll be gone soon. It’s not like I’m going to be staying around here, eating at The Dairy Treet and staring at his stupid face for the rest of my life. I’m leaving just as soon as I find a few things out.
Maybe even before.
I mean, why am I hanging around here? Why don’t I take off right now and just hire a detective? That’s the type of thing they do. They’d get this Rosie/Mimi stuff cleared up in no time.
And then sell the story to the tabloids for millions.
Okay. I can’t do that. I made myself a deal. I’m going to stick to it.
I put on some shorts and a T-shirt. I’m all ready to go downstairs but then I change my mind. Anita’s the type who’d actually lift up my shirt to check what I was wearing underneath. I’m not saying Kay’s that bad but I don’t want to risk it. I put my swimsuit on and shave my pits too. I throw the shorts and T-shirt on over my bathing suit. Doesn’t mean I’m going swimming.
I head downstairs. Kay’s going, “Don’t forget to show her this” and “Don’t forget to show her that” and “Make sure she gets in for a swim” and warning Levi not to drive too fast and agonizing over whether four sandwiches will be enough and apologizing for running out of apple juice and throwing in a few more handfuls of fake Oreos “just in case.”
Levi goes, “Oh, stop your worrying” and then, because he’s a total suck-up, hugs her goodbye.
She beams at that. She pushes him away as if he’s stealing a kiss or something and says, “Now, get going, the two of you. I want to wash this floor!”
I do my best to thank her but all I can think about is getting stuck in the van with Levi. I keep remembering the way he and that girl laughed when they made me spill Coke and ketchup all over myself.
Levi opens the door to the van for me—such a gentleman!—andwe take off. I keep waving at Kay until we’re on the road, just so I won’t have to look at him.
Levi goes, “So! Here we are. All alone again.” Ear we ar. All lone agin.
“Yeah. Isn’t that just great?” I say.
“No kidding!”
He’s smiling. I can hear it in his voice. Does he not understand sarcasm or something? I go, “What’s with you anyway?”
He does that “Me?” thing again. I wish he’d just drop the innocent act. It’s getting seriously boring.
I say, “Yeah, you. What’s with telling Kay you’d take me to Port Minton? Why are you doing
I do that “No, no, I couldn’t possibly” thing, but Kay won’t hear of it.
She keeps going, “It’s no trouble is it, Levi?” and then scrambling around getting a little “picnic lunch” ready for us. Whenever she turns away, I give Levi the evil eye, but he just puts up his hands like this is completely out of his control. He is so irritating.
Kay goes into full Anita mode. She’s sort of pushing me to eat some cornflakes and telling me I should bring my bathing suit and then when I say I don’t think I’m going to want to swim (i.e., expose my thighs), she totally ignores me and says that I should actually put my suit on here because she doubts there’ll be a place I can change at the Port. It’s really hard to get a spoon to my face without unleashing my armpits so I just take a couple mouthfuls, then dump the rest of the cereal out, clean my dish and head upstairs as if I’m going to get dressed or something.
I sit on my bed for a while and fume. I wonder if this is why the lip-smacking girl gets up and out so early? How come Levi doesn’t bug her ? I mean, okay. Thank you for the drive—“drives,” whatever—and I’m sorry I punched you in the face and everything but will you please just leave me alone?
I’m going to say that to him. I may as well. I’ll be gone soon. It’s not like I’m going to be staying around here, eating at The Dairy Treet and staring at his stupid face for the rest of my life. I’m leaving just as soon as I find a few things out.
Maybe even before.
I mean, why am I hanging around here? Why don’t I take off right now and just hire a detective? That’s the type of thing they do. They’d get this Rosie/Mimi stuff cleared up in no time.
And then sell the story to the tabloids for millions.
Okay. I can’t do that. I made myself a deal. I’m going to stick to it.
I put on some shorts and a T-shirt. I’m all ready to go downstairs but then I change my mind. Anita’s the type who’d actually lift up my shirt to check what I was wearing underneath. I’m not saying Kay’s that bad but I don’t want to risk it. I put my swimsuit on and shave my pits too. I throw the shorts and T-shirt on over my bathing suit. Doesn’t mean I’m going swimming.
I head downstairs. Kay’s going, “Don’t forget to show her this” and “Don’t forget to show her that” and “Make sure she gets in for a swim” and warning Levi not to drive too fast and agonizing over whether four sandwiches will be enough and apologizing for running out of apple juice and throwing in a few more handfuls of fake Oreos “just in case.”
Levi goes, “Oh, stop your worrying” and then, because he’s a total suck-up, hugs her goodbye.
She beams at that. She pushes him away as if he’s stealing a kiss or something and says, “Now, get going, the two of you. I want to wash this floor!”
I do my best to thank her but all I can think about is getting stuck in the van with Levi. I keep remembering the way he and that girl laughed when they made me spill Coke and ketchup all over myself.
Levi opens the door to the van for me—such a gentleman!—andwe take off. I keep waving at Kay until we’re on the road, just so I won’t have to look at him.
Levi goes, “So! Here we are. All alone again.” Ear we ar. All lone agin.
“Yeah. Isn’t that just great?” I say.
“No kidding!”
He’s smiling. I can hear it in his voice. Does he not understand sarcasm or something? I go, “What’s with you anyway?”
He does that “Me?” thing again. I wish he’d just drop the innocent act. It’s getting seriously boring.
I say, “Yeah, you. What’s with telling Kay you’d take me to Port Minton? Why are you doing
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