Not Quite A Bride by Kirsten Sawyer

bedroom (the one that would have been Jamie’s) is my guest room/office/library/den. It has a futon that I expertly unfold ... many a drunk bride has crashed on it post-bachelorette partying. I grab an extra pillow and blanket from the hall closet and toss them on the futon.
    We crowd each other in the bathroom getting ready for bed—a gay man’s ritual is very similar to a straight girl’s—then head into our respective beds for much-needed sleep.
    â€œMolly,” Justin says, as I climb into my bed and he heads for the futon, “your family is wonderful.”
    I smile as I snuggle into my bed and doze off.

14
    Dinner With Brad and Claire
    T he next morning we both sleep really late and don’t stir until Tiffany cannot stand the starvation anymore and begins howling at her food dish. I get up and make coffee while Justin gets dressed.
    â€œIt was nice having you stay here,” I tell him when he comes into the kitchen to get his coffee.
    â€œYes,” he agrees, “it was nice. So, what’s on your schedule today?”
    â€œWell,” I giggle as I open my mostly empty calendar, “I appear to be open ... I just have a tutor session at one with the remarkably precocious Taylor Twain. What about you?”
    He laughs at my silliness, “I actually have to work a double shift today because of the trade I made to have yesterday off.”
    â€œOh, I’m sorry. That’s sucky.”
    â€œNo, don’t be silly, it was well worth it. I’ll be home late tonight, but let’s meet at our place tomorrow morning.”
    â€œOkay, that sounds good. Call me when you wake up.”
    We hug at the door and Justin kisses the top of my head as he walks out. In my fantasy world I am like a real girlfriend sending her boyfriend off to work and it makes me feel happy.
    I decide to spend the morning working on the engagement plan. It is scheduled to take place in just a couple of weeks. It’s hard to believe how fast time has flown by. I get out my checklist of “things to do before we get engaged.” Yes, I have a checklist titled that ... and it has SO many checks on it! Mom and Dad—I could have checked it before, but I wanted to wait until I was absolutely certain. After last night, I give it two checks. Jamie and Bryan—check. Logan—check (hooray!). Lauren and Rob—check. Alex and Steve—check, Alex and I aren’t extremely close, anyway ... we’re kind of friends through Lauren and I think the amount of bonding we did with them at Brad and Claire’s engagement party is sufficient. And then I come to Brad’s name on my list. There isn’t a check, there aren’t any notes ... it looks so empty and alone sitting on the page ... and it reminds me of the hole he left in my life. I stare at his name for what feels like the longest time ... Tiffany even climbs across the desk to see what I am staring at. I realize that I need to maintain my friendship with Brad, I need to be able to put a check next to his name, and therefore, I need to play by Claire’s rules.
    I dial Brad’s work number ... it worked last time, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Ring, ring, ring ... no luck. Rats. I take a deep breath and dial his cell.
    Ring, ring. “Hello?” It’s Brad’s voice.
    â€œHi,” I say, trying to sound upbeat and normal, “it’s Molly.” The truth, of course, is that if things were normal I wouldn’t have said, It’s Molly, I would have said, It’s me.
    â€œOh, hey there,” Brad says in a strange tone ... he must be with Claire and he doesn’t want Claire to know it’s me.
    â€œIs it a bad time?”
    â€œUm, no ... not really. Claire and I are just meeting with a wedding coordinator. Hang on one second.”
    I can hear him put his hand over the phone as Claire’s shrill voice asks who it is. He doesn’t answer ... just says he needs to