Noman by William Nicholson Page A

glad."
    The washerman stepped forward with a cloth and patted the Joy Boy's face dry as if he were helpless. Then, when the ablutions were all done, the Joy Boy rose and came to Morning Star. Once more she saw that he had no aura. This frightened her and excited her.
    He looked at her with his smiling eyes but didn't speak. The silence was only awkward for a moment. Then she found herself held by those eyes. They seemed to draw her in and calm her thoughts. Then, still without speaking, something passed from him into her that caused a sweet melting sensation all through her body. Startled by it, she looked away and found that everything round the Joy Boy, the other people, the distant hills, the small clouds in the blue sky, had all become more intense, their colors more vivid.

    "You see so much," he said. "Too much."
    "Yes."
    "I've been thinking about you, and why you've come to me now."
    "I told you. I was looking for my parents."
    "So you did." He smiled gently like a father who knows his child is lying, but sees no need to challenge the lie. "I've been thinking about your gift of feeling. I have a question to ask. Do you have the power to make one person feel what another person feels?"
    "Yes," said Morning Star slowly. "I have done that."
    "Can you do it with many people?"
    "Yes."
    "It's as I thought. You have a wide embrace. You're a unifier. That is the greatest gift there is."
    Morning Star saw the brightness of the colors all round her and felt that something strange was happening to her. This plump-faced youth made the world fresh and new.
    "You've done this before, I think," he said.
    "Yes. With the spikers. I joined them into an army."

    "An army? You used your gift to bring men together to kill?"
    He spoke without sneering. He was puzzled.
    "Yes," she said. She felt ashamed.
    "You can do better than that."
    "Tell me what I can do."
    She had no intention of becoming the Joy Boy's disciple, and she thought as she spoke that she would listen but not necessarily obey. However, the melting sweetness within and the vivid brightness round her made her less resistant. She wanted to please him now.
    "You can use your gift to share the joy," he said.
    This time the phrase that had so annoyed her sounded different. She heard it from his lips as a simple innocent statement of the obvious. Why would she not want to share the joy? What was to be gained by keeping herself apart and in pain?
    "I know you're afraid," he went on in his gentle voice. "You have so little protection against the darkness. You're made of smoke and moonlight. You don't know where you end and others begin. But what you think of as your weakness is your strength."
    Morning Star had never had anyone speak to her in this way. It seemed to her he read her innermost heart. "I fear more than you know," she said. "You fear the loss of yourself. It's what everyone fears. But you stand closer to the edge than others."
    "I'm weaker than you know."
    As she spoke, she thought to herself, Why am I telling this boy what I've told no one else? And she answered herself: because no one has ever known me as he knows me. Not even Seeker.

    "So weak," he said, "that you have loved where you have not been loved in return."
    So he knew that, too. She bowed her head.
    "And so weak that you can never be a true Noble Warrior."
    "Yes."
    "What's the use of you, Morning Star?"
    It was like her own voice, speaking outside her.
    "Nothing."
    "You've already failed. And yet your gift remains. How can that be?"
    She looked up. She saw so much love and understanding in those dark eyes that in spite of herself she began to feel happy. What did any of it matter after all?
    "I don't know," she said.
    "Maybe whether you succeed or fail doesn't matter. Maybe whether you're strong or weak doesn't matter. Maybe you don't matter. Maybe all that matters is your gift."
    "Yes," she said.
    "Your gift and how you use it."
    "Yes."
    "You can remain alone, or you can share the joy."
    "I want to share