Nobody Loves a Centurion
balance, placing great stress on the left wrist and shoulder. That will only happen a few times in the course of a battle, but in practice it just goes on over and over—and so it was that morning.
    Javelins are about four feet long, lightweight weapons to soften up the enemy before the battle lines clash. The pilum is another matter entirely. It is man-height, made of ash or other dense wood, and as thick as your wrist up to the balance point, where it flares to form an area as long and as thick as a forearm. The rest of its length is an iron shank terminating in a small, barbed head. Compared to a javelin, it has all the flight characteristics of a pointed log.
    Military tinkerers are always coming up with ways to improve the pilum , the idea being to make it difficult for an enemy to throw it back at you, always a hazard with missile weapons. Marius slotted the iron head into the wooden shaft, fixing it with one rivet made of iron and another made of wood. The idea was that, upon impact, the wooden peg would break and the shank would then rotate on the iron one, rendering it useless for throwing. Caesar’s innovation was to temper only the point, allowing the relatively soft shank portion to bend. This must have made him popular with the armorers, who had to straighten them out after the battle.
    Of course, the pila employed for training were of a morepermanent nature. The target was a man-sized straw bale fifty feet away. The pilum is never thrown farther than that. This is primarily because there is hardly a man alive who can throw one farther than that. Most centurions instruct their men to get within ten feet before hurling the pilum . That way you can scarcely miss and the effect is devastating.
    The purpose of the pilum is not so much to kill the enemy as it is to deprive him of his shield. With the massive thing firmly lodged in the shield and bent past further use, the warrior can only abandon the shield or else employ it very inefficiently. The commonly taught technique is to nail the enemy’s shield with the pilum , draw your gladius, step in, give the shaft of the pilum a kick to uncover the unfortunate wretch, and stab him. Most barbarians are too lazy to pack around heavy shields of the Roman type, so as often as not the pilum goes right on through the flimsy shield and impales the man behind it. Then there is nothing left to do except to find another barbarian to stab. Sometimes barbarians try to endure the first storm of missiles by huddling behind overlapped shields, only to find all their shields nailed together by pila so that all have to be abandoned, leaving them defenseless.
    In short, although the sword gets all the glory, the pilum is our battle-winner.
    The drill with the pilum was always the same: step out, raise the spear over the shoulder, then, at the proper range, take one very long step. Back goes the pilum , up comes the scutum , and heave. To get the massive spear fifty feet you have to use your whole body and you feel the strain from your right wrist to your left ankle. And in training, this goes on hour after hour. The instructor encourages you with his wittiest line of patter.
    “Not very good, sir, but at least you won’t have to walk so far to fetch it, will you?” Or: “I think you scared him that time, sir, but I hear the Germans don’t scare so easy, so you’ll have to do better than that.” Or: “Not quite like making speeches in the Forum, is it, Captain? See if you can do it without nailing your own foot next time.” Or: “What did you do in your last legion, sir? Did you have your slave heave your toothpick for you?” At least he was ruder to the recruits.
    Just when I was about to welcome death from exhaustion, it was time for sword drill.
    “There’s your enemy, sir,” the ex-gladiator said, pointing to the straw-wrapped post in front of me. “Now kill him! You’ve trained in the Indus , unlike young Hermes here, so you should be able to dispatch this

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