Nobody Bats a Thousand

Nobody Bats a Thousand by Steve Schmale

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Authors: Steve Schmale
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“I keep telling sis she should apply. The pay’s good. A lot better than she can make cutting hair.” He glanced around the side of Mary Jean’s Rambler. “The thing is I can’t get to this headlight until tomorrow. I’m on my way to work right now, is that okay?”
    “Sure, sure, no hurry,” said Mary Jean, placated by the paranoia brought on by the uniform.
    “Man, aren’t hit and run accidents a bitch?  Whoever this guy was, he must have backed into you pretty hard.”
    “She was driving.” Mary Jean pointed directly at Nadine.
    “I thought the car was parked?”
    “Yeah, it was parked, but…. I gotta go.” Leaving Nadine to deal with the degeneration of the deception, Mary Jean went up the stairs and into the small apartment. After sighting in her bed, she plopped down and within minutes was out, drawn into slumber land, just as the fog-masked sun outside her window was doing the same.
    Sometime later, amid darkness and confusion, MJ awoke to take three aspirins and an Ativan to deal with both her current headache and the shakes she knew to be lurking right around the corner. In the dark, on her way to the kitchen for a glass of water to wash down the drugs, she ran headfirst into the bedroom wall. “We have to quit meeting like this,” she said directly to the sheet rock. Then, after three more shaky steps into the other room, she was startled by three loud knocks on the front door. Filled to the brim with guilt and paranoia over whatever might have happened during her recent bout of drunkenness, MJ stood silent as the knocking continued.
    “Who is it?” she asked softly after finally deciding there was no way out.
    “It’s me, Maggie. You girls aren’t sleeping are you?”
    “No, no,” Mary Jean said as she opened the door. “At least I’m not.” She looked over at Nadine on the couch, just now opening her eyes, her being bathed in the light of the TV.
    “Good, good, I hate to wake anyone up.” S he grinned. “ Oh, look at me lying again. Ac tually I love to wake people up. ” H er eyes gleamed behind the thick glasses. “I just wanted to let you know I’ve got us a meeting set up with Bill Bennett tomorrow right after the protest at the Pyramid Theater.”
    “Okay.”
    “I’ve got a ride to the theater , but I thought maybe you could pick me up and we’d go from there.”
    “Sure, that’d be okay. But let me get this straight about the guy we’re meeting. He’s a private detective with a degree from Berkeley?”
    “Oh, he never finished up his degree. He purposely came up short, but that’s a long story.”
    “And I hear his family got rich from owning a basketball team that doesn’t exist , and they don’t trust him with the inheritance.”
    “Another long story.”
    “And he owns a TV station?”
    “He just bought that recently. Basically it’s some sort of tax write-off. I don’t know what it’s all about, but he did tell me I should watch it, that I might get a kick out of it.” Maggie stepped into the small living room. “I don’t watch a lot of television. I can only get the strong stations anyway since my antenna fell over years ago, and I’ve never bothered to fix it. I’ve never been able to pick up his station, but he told me it’s on cable too. Would you mind?” Maggie looked down at Nadine. “It’s channel 63.”
    Nadine picked up the controls and punched in the numbers. A still picture came on, thick black block letters on a white background:
     
    YOU ARE STUPID
     
     
    Maggie grinned and looked at Mary Jean. “That’s Bill all right.”
    “I suppose I should meet this guy.”
    Nadine unlocked her focus from the TV and looked at the other two in the room. “I don’t get it.”
    MJ shook her head and turned to Maggie. “So what time should I come get you?”
    “The protest starts at twelve, anytime after that. I was hoping you might want to join us. The more the merrier.”
    Maggie bid goodnight to her two tenants, and MJ locked the

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