No Time for Horses by Shannon Kennedy

from the
horses. He’s funny and sweet with them. He never uses whips. I
could learn so much from him. Those tickets were like a hundred
bucks each. And Jack works hard for his money. He mows lawns and
bucks hay bales and works as a lifeguard. He knew how much I wanted
to go, and he made arrangements to borrow his mom’s car for us to
go to Tacoma.”
    “So, what happened?” Ingrid asked.
    “What do you think? Mom went to work. Rick
never came. Before she left, Jack told my mother that she was
driving me away, and as soon as I turned eighteen, I’d hightail it
out of Washington State and she’d never see me again. She’d have to
buy a new slave. Then, he called Rick on the phone and told my
stepdad what a no-good creep he was.”
    “But, what about your date?” Ingrid asked.
“How did you deal with that? Did you arrange to go another time?
Exchange the tickets?”
    “It was a tour. Monty’s school is in
California, and he tours all over the world. No, this was a
one-shot deal. We would have had to wait until the next time he
came here, and it could be another year or two.”
    “And what could you do about it?” Ingrid
picked up her pen. “No one has to let people who do so little for
you control so much of your mind, thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Did you and Jack allow your parents to victimize you?”
    “That’s an interesting way to look at it.” I
drew up my knees and pillowed my chin on them. Ingrid didn’t say a
word about my flip-flops being on the chair. “I cried. I was so mad
and hurt, and I hated everybody.”
    “Even Jack?”
    “Well, a little bit. He’s so smart. He should
have known they’d wreck it. They always do.” I sighed, shaking my
head. “No, that wasn’t fair. Jack just wanted to do something
special for me.”
    “What did you do when you finished grieving?”
Ingrid asked again. “You’re a smart girl too, Vicky. You can’t tell
me you sat home, can you?”
    “I could, but I’m pretty sure Rick and Mom
already told you,” I said. “It was sort of Jack’s idea too, but,
mostly it was mine. And I got grounded for two weeks, but it was
worth it. I walked the kids to daycare and arranged for them to
stay there until Mom or Rick picked them up.”
    “It could have been a bad deal, but you
changed it,” Ingrid said. “That’s what I want you to learn. You
can’t control your mother or stepdad. You can take charge of your
life.”
    “How? What do I do when Rick returns Chrissy
with a diaper bag full of crappy and wet cloth diapers on Sunday
night? Leave them for my mom to deal with after she works a bunch
of sixteen-hour shifts over the weekend? That doesn’t seem fair
either.”
    “Hmmm.” Ingrid tapped her pen on the table.
“What about disposable diapers or underpants for the visits?”
    “Rick doesn’t like those. He says they’re bad
for the environment. I know he’s right,” I said, “but it was dirty
diaper city again on Sunday night. Mom and I spent most of
yesterday doing the kids’ laundry. I do pick up some disposable
diapers when I buy groceries, but they’re only for
emergencies.”
    “Not anymore,” Ingrid repeated. “I’ll go over
it with him on Thursday afternoon. If he wants to use cloth ones,
he can buy them and deal with washing them.”
    I giggled. “You go, Doc. Once you get that
settled, can you talk to Mom about me getting an actual job? If I
pay rent, she might let me have some space of my own.”
    “I definitely want to hear about that.”
Ingrid looked at her watch. “We have ten minutes before group. Will
you talk fast and bring me up to speed?”
    “Sure. I’m a teenage girl. Here goes.”
    While I rattled off facts and figures, she
listened and made notes. I’d thought this would be a complete waste
of time and energy, but it was so nice having someone who didn’t
treat me like a hysterical teenager. It felt as if Ingrid O’Hara
was on my side. She made me think. Yes, I had choices and I would
make better ones.