Nirvana Bites by Debi Alper

keeping the former out of the latter.
    I checked the Technicolor swelling round Mrs V’s eye and made outraged noises about cowardly bastards hitting defenceless little old ladies.
    â€˜Oh no, Jackie, love. That wasn’t them,’ she replied. ‘That was me. I picked up the phone to call the cops and in the excitement shoved it to me eye instead of me ear.’
    We both spluttered with laughter, but it was Mrs V who recovered first.
    â€˜Actually, Julie, it might be funny now, but they scared the life out of me at the time, I can tell you. I’m used to those little bastards off the estate comin in and takin the piss, but these two were a different kettle of fish, I can tell you. I thought I’d had me chips for a while there. It was only when one of them spotted Derek and Tyson comin back that they scarpered.’
    It takes a fair bit to frighten me, but I was nowhere near brave enough to tell Mrs V that I was probably the indirect cause of the violence. And something else was sending tremors down my spine. If the baccy-laver boys had waited for Derek and Tyson to leave before embarking on their terrorising of Mrs V, then they must be watching the houses. They could be aware of all our movements. But there were no buildings opposite. Were they hanging out on the railway embankment? Had they set up surveillance cameras under the bridge?
    I’ve always had a paranoid streak. Who hasn’t? But this time it seemed that I had serious justification for being freaked. They really were out to get us. The big problem was, I was still no closer to working out who ‘they’ were.
    I also wanted to know why they had targeted Mrs V. Perhaps they thought she was more than just our neighbour. More likely, they were just proving a point. The point being that they were brutal sadistic thugs who would stop at nothing. On the other hand, it was possible that they were simply incompetent. You can but hope…

10
    STAN WAS SLUMPED in exactly the same position I’d left him in, except now, instead of staring at the TV screen, he was staring at the inside of his eyelids. As I gazed at him in distaste, the phone rang. I snatched it up and gritted my teeth as I heard my sister-in-law’s voice.
    â€˜Jenny? Are you there, Jenny? Oh, thank goodness. It’s Kate. I have some very bad news. I think you’d better sit down, Jenny.’
    I didn’t like the way she kept repeating my name. It was the closest Kate ever got to an endearment. I pulled the phone out into the hall and closed the door to the front room.
    â€˜Go on,’ I said.
    â€˜Oh, Jenny. I’m so sorry, Jenny. Your father – he passed on. About half an hour ago. We’re at the nursing home. Dennis asked me to call you. He’s too upset.’
    For a moment I was confused by her euphemism.
    Then, ‘He’s dead?’ I asked.
    â€˜Oh, Jenny. Yes. I’m so sorry.’
    It was the strangest thing. I had visualised – even prayed for – this moment so many times over the years. I’d imagined my reaction. Elation? Triumph? Relief? So I was totally unprepared to feel this – nothingness. It was as though I had become detached from my body and floated, ceiling height, to look down on the empty shell below.
    â€˜Jenny? Jenny? Are you OK?’
    â€˜Mmmm,’ I managed.
    â€˜We – er – we were wondering if…if you’d like to see him.’
    See him? I reeled. The thought of seeing him dead was infinitely preferable to seeing him alive, but even so I was filled with revulsion.
    â€˜Um. Thanks. But I think I’ll pass on that one.’
    â€˜As you wish.’ Christ she was prim.
    â€˜We also wondered if you would like to be involved with the funeral arrangements. We thought it would be nice if he could be buried next to your mother.’
    I catapulted back into my body with a jarring shock. The vacuum was instantly filled with tidal waves of foaming red