trouble!” I told him.
“Come here—” he whispered.
I leaned over, one hand pressing my collar to my chest.
“Closer.”
I got so close my ear almost touched his lip.
“What was it?” he hissed around his uncuffed trach. “Last night. What was it?”
I rocked back a bit. He wasn’t supposed to remember anything. The Shadows were supposed to take care of things. Of everything. I looked down at him. “It was just a bad dream. That’s all. It’s taken care of, honest.” His eyes were wide and earnest, and I could tell he didn’t believe me. Luckily for me, no one would ever believe him.
“Well,” his mother said, breaking up our moment. “I appreciate your sentiment, Nurse—” Her eyes found my badge. “Nurse Spence. But this CD player seems to be nonoperational.” She popped her CD out and then handed me the player.
“Oh.” I took it and shook it some. “Maybe you should—” I offered it back.
“I’m getting him an MP3 player,” she said, then looked away, much as the pawnshop man had. I inhaled to say more, but I knew from her expression that I’d already been dismissed.
I glanced down at Shawn, first trapped in the bed, and now trapped with his memories. “Sorry, buddy.” I saluted him with the CD player in one hand, and walked out the door.
* * *
As soon as I sat down in my car, fatigue fell on me like a cloak. I put the CD player in the passenger seat beside me. For a second, I thought I saw its power button flicker on. I stared at it, entranced in my exhaustion. Hoping that it would come on was the only thing stopping me from crying.
Behind me, a car that had stalked me to my parking spot gave up on being polite and honked. I started, looked at the man gesticulating wildly behind me in my rearview, and found my ignition with my keys.
Before I could turn the engine over he honked again. And when my cold engine didn’t take, he honked a third time.
“Look, guy, unless your wife is in your backseat giving birth—just give me a break, will you?” I said. I sniffled in a huge breath to hold so I wouldn’t start bawling. Who could I call to get me at this time of day? Everyone I knew was busy working, or busy sleeping, I couldn’t afford a tow truck, and I sure as hell didn’t have Triple A. “Come on.” A twist, a cough, then silence. Then, honking. “Please. Please,” I implored my car, the asshole behind me, and the universe at large, turning the key one more time.
Grandfather spoke up beside me, and my engine sputtered to life. I sagged forward in relief, pressing my head onto my steering wheel. The guy behind me honked again. “Schädel in Bechern!” Grandfather exclaimed.
“I hope you’re cursing him out in German, Grandfather.” Grandfather kept talking as I reversed out of my spot. The incoming visitor zipped past me with only an inch to spare. I flipped him off and then I wound through the rest of the parking lot. When I hit the highway, I picked up the CD player and held it to my chest as it talked, letting it comfort me like a purring cat.
* * *
I scheduled myself for an STD exam when I got up that afternoon, for eight A.M. the next morning. It was embarrassing to call in to the County’s own employee health clinic for that, under my real name no less, but I consoled myself with the fact that at least it was free.
I still had one night off. Instead of picking up an extra shift, I opted to go back to the club.
It wasn’t the scientifically sound idea, but I had some questions that needed answers. Namely, if I’d accidentally slept with a syphilitic were-dragon. I found myself envying normal people more and more.
So I went downtown, looking plain and feeling wrung out, to make a round of the club. It was Friday and the place was packed, everyone ready to get their groove on but me. I looked everywhere but the men’s restroom and was about to give up. It’d been a stupid idea to begin with. I wove for the door around
“Come here—” he whispered.
I leaned over, one hand pressing my collar to my chest.
“Closer.”
I got so close my ear almost touched his lip.
“What was it?” he hissed around his uncuffed trach. “Last night. What was it?”
I rocked back a bit. He wasn’t supposed to remember anything. The Shadows were supposed to take care of things. Of everything. I looked down at him. “It was just a bad dream. That’s all. It’s taken care of, honest.” His eyes were wide and earnest, and I could tell he didn’t believe me. Luckily for me, no one would ever believe him.
“Well,” his mother said, breaking up our moment. “I appreciate your sentiment, Nurse—” Her eyes found my badge. “Nurse Spence. But this CD player seems to be nonoperational.” She popped her CD out and then handed me the player.
“Oh.” I took it and shook it some. “Maybe you should—” I offered it back.
“I’m getting him an MP3 player,” she said, then looked away, much as the pawnshop man had. I inhaled to say more, but I knew from her expression that I’d already been dismissed.
I glanced down at Shawn, first trapped in the bed, and now trapped with his memories. “Sorry, buddy.” I saluted him with the CD player in one hand, and walked out the door.
* * *
As soon as I sat down in my car, fatigue fell on me like a cloak. I put the CD player in the passenger seat beside me. For a second, I thought I saw its power button flicker on. I stared at it, entranced in my exhaustion. Hoping that it would come on was the only thing stopping me from crying.
Behind me, a car that had stalked me to my parking spot gave up on being polite and honked. I started, looked at the man gesticulating wildly behind me in my rearview, and found my ignition with my keys.
Before I could turn the engine over he honked again. And when my cold engine didn’t take, he honked a third time.
“Look, guy, unless your wife is in your backseat giving birth—just give me a break, will you?” I said. I sniffled in a huge breath to hold so I wouldn’t start bawling. Who could I call to get me at this time of day? Everyone I knew was busy working, or busy sleeping, I couldn’t afford a tow truck, and I sure as hell didn’t have Triple A. “Come on.” A twist, a cough, then silence. Then, honking. “Please. Please,” I implored my car, the asshole behind me, and the universe at large, turning the key one more time.
Grandfather spoke up beside me, and my engine sputtered to life. I sagged forward in relief, pressing my head onto my steering wheel. The guy behind me honked again. “Schädel in Bechern!” Grandfather exclaimed.
“I hope you’re cursing him out in German, Grandfather.” Grandfather kept talking as I reversed out of my spot. The incoming visitor zipped past me with only an inch to spare. I flipped him off and then I wound through the rest of the parking lot. When I hit the highway, I picked up the CD player and held it to my chest as it talked, letting it comfort me like a purring cat.
* * *
I scheduled myself for an STD exam when I got up that afternoon, for eight A.M. the next morning. It was embarrassing to call in to the County’s own employee health clinic for that, under my real name no less, but I consoled myself with the fact that at least it was free.
I still had one night off. Instead of picking up an extra shift, I opted to go back to the club.
It wasn’t the scientifically sound idea, but I had some questions that needed answers. Namely, if I’d accidentally slept with a syphilitic were-dragon. I found myself envying normal people more and more.
So I went downtown, looking plain and feeling wrung out, to make a round of the club. It was Friday and the place was packed, everyone ready to get their groove on but me. I looked everywhere but the men’s restroom and was about to give up. It’d been a stupid idea to begin with. I wove for the door around
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