my father is right. What I want doesn’t matter. I have to be strong. Nothing more.
I bit a pillow. I hate boys.
He watched my retreat, frowning. “Your mother is making lunch. Will you join us?”
“Okay.” No matter how thick my cotton fortress might be, it wouldn’t change anything. Besides, I was a warrior; it was time to act like one.
The chiming melody echoed in my ears before my eyes opened. Bell-like notes seeped in through my bedroom window, which I’d left cracked open the night before, along with a steady stream of cool, biting air. Frost. The first hard frost of the year. I glanced at the clock. Bryn would be outside in an hour for our weekly patrol.
How am I going to get rid of her? I chewed on shredded wheat and wondered if Shay would actually make the hike up the mountain this early in the morning.
“Hey, sis.” Ansel appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
“What are you doing up?” I asked, suddenly worried that I was late. But it was 6:30 a.m. Our weekend patrols began at 7:00.
“I wanted to see if I could come along today.” He tried to sound casual, but his hand trembled as he poured coffee. Black liquid splattered on the counter.
“You just patrolled with Mason yesterday.” I watched as he wiped up the coffee with a paper towel.
“I know,” he said quickly. “I just think the practice is good for me. I mean, with the attack and all.”
“Oh.” I chewed my lip. “I actually was going to give Bryn the day off. I’ll patrol alone.”
“Why?” Ansel sat at the table, fingers tapping the sides of his mug.
“I just need some time to think.” I made up an excuse on the spot. “And I think best when I run alone.”
“Are you okay, Cal?” Ansel shoveled spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his coffee.
“How can you drink that?” I shuddered.
“Just answer the question.” He raised the cup to his lips.
“I’m fine.”
“Mom said you spent half the day in bed while I was on patrol.” He picked up the sugar and added another tablespoon to his coffee.
“We were out until four in the morning on Friday.”
“Tell me about it. I was the one who had to get up two hours later. And Mason is not pleasant to patrol with when he’s tired. Cranky as hell. He snapped a rabbit clean in half when it startled him.”
Ansel tasted his coffee again; this time he smiled and began to gulp it.
“Seriously, though, Calla,” he said. “Did killing that Searcher freak you out?”
“No.” He looked doubtful and I sighed. “Killing the Searcher was my job. He tried to attack Shay.”
“You mean that new kid everyone’s been talking about?”
“Yes.” I got up to refill my mug. “The Keepers have some sort of interest in his well-being. He’s living with them.”
Ansel held his now-empty coffee cup out to me. “That’s weird. And the Searchers tried to attack him?”
“Yes. I killed one. The other one—” I hesitated before pouring coffee into his mug. “Do you want only half a cup to leave room for your sugar?”
He didn’t take the bait. “What happened to the other Searcher?”
“The Keepers used a wraith on him.”
I watched Ansel pale. “What did it do?”
“I don’t know exactly.” I set his mug in front of him. “Efron sent us out. But it seemed like the wraith would make their interrogation pretty effective.”
“I’m glad I didn’t have to see that.” He began his sugar ritual again.
“I wish I hadn’t seen what I did,” I said, and his eyes narrowed. “And yes, that did keep me in bed yesterday.”
“What else?” Ansel pressed.
I stared at the dark surface of my coffee. “I’m worried about Logan.”
“What about him?” He got up and went to the pantry to refill the now-empty sugar bowl.
“He’s going to take over the new pack.”
I heard a clatter from the pantry. Sparkling granules covered the floor.
“Ansel!” I went for the broom.
“Sorry,” he muttered, pushing the spilled sugar into a pile with his
I bit a pillow. I hate boys.
He watched my retreat, frowning. “Your mother is making lunch. Will you join us?”
“Okay.” No matter how thick my cotton fortress might be, it wouldn’t change anything. Besides, I was a warrior; it was time to act like one.
The chiming melody echoed in my ears before my eyes opened. Bell-like notes seeped in through my bedroom window, which I’d left cracked open the night before, along with a steady stream of cool, biting air. Frost. The first hard frost of the year. I glanced at the clock. Bryn would be outside in an hour for our weekly patrol.
How am I going to get rid of her? I chewed on shredded wheat and wondered if Shay would actually make the hike up the mountain this early in the morning.
“Hey, sis.” Ansel appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
“What are you doing up?” I asked, suddenly worried that I was late. But it was 6:30 a.m. Our weekend patrols began at 7:00.
“I wanted to see if I could come along today.” He tried to sound casual, but his hand trembled as he poured coffee. Black liquid splattered on the counter.
“You just patrolled with Mason yesterday.” I watched as he wiped up the coffee with a paper towel.
“I know,” he said quickly. “I just think the practice is good for me. I mean, with the attack and all.”
“Oh.” I chewed my lip. “I actually was going to give Bryn the day off. I’ll patrol alone.”
“Why?” Ansel sat at the table, fingers tapping the sides of his mug.
“I just need some time to think.” I made up an excuse on the spot. “And I think best when I run alone.”
“Are you okay, Cal?” Ansel shoveled spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his coffee.
“How can you drink that?” I shuddered.
“Just answer the question.” He raised the cup to his lips.
“I’m fine.”
“Mom said you spent half the day in bed while I was on patrol.” He picked up the sugar and added another tablespoon to his coffee.
“We were out until four in the morning on Friday.”
“Tell me about it. I was the one who had to get up two hours later. And Mason is not pleasant to patrol with when he’s tired. Cranky as hell. He snapped a rabbit clean in half when it startled him.”
Ansel tasted his coffee again; this time he smiled and began to gulp it.
“Seriously, though, Calla,” he said. “Did killing that Searcher freak you out?”
“No.” He looked doubtful and I sighed. “Killing the Searcher was my job. He tried to attack Shay.”
“You mean that new kid everyone’s been talking about?”
“Yes.” I got up to refill my mug. “The Keepers have some sort of interest in his well-being. He’s living with them.”
Ansel held his now-empty coffee cup out to me. “That’s weird. And the Searchers tried to attack him?”
“Yes. I killed one. The other one—” I hesitated before pouring coffee into his mug. “Do you want only half a cup to leave room for your sugar?”
He didn’t take the bait. “What happened to the other Searcher?”
“The Keepers used a wraith on him.”
I watched Ansel pale. “What did it do?”
“I don’t know exactly.” I set his mug in front of him. “Efron sent us out. But it seemed like the wraith would make their interrogation pretty effective.”
“I’m glad I didn’t have to see that.” He began his sugar ritual again.
“I wish I hadn’t seen what I did,” I said, and his eyes narrowed. “And yes, that did keep me in bed yesterday.”
“What else?” Ansel pressed.
I stared at the dark surface of my coffee. “I’m worried about Logan.”
“What about him?” He got up and went to the pantry to refill the now-empty sugar bowl.
“He’s going to take over the new pack.”
I heard a clatter from the pantry. Sparkling granules covered the floor.
“Ansel!” I went for the broom.
“Sorry,” he muttered, pushing the spilled sugar into a pile with his
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