Nightmare in Night Court by N. M. Silber Page A

Conduct, Your Honor. However, since the defendant confessed to being in this country illegally, we were obligated to inform the INS. We’re still waiting for an agent to arrive.” He sighed and shifted his weight to the other foot. Poor Mr. Brenner. He had obviously pissed off somebody in his office. Assigning a young guy, barely out of law school, to Night Court on Halloween had to be a malicious act.
    “Ha! You’re waiting for a federal employee to show up in Night Court on Halloween! That’s rich. I hope you brought a snack. Call he next case!”
    “Judge!” Mr. Smith broke in. “The gravity …”
    “I’m glad you realize this is serious.  Now go sit down and contemplate.” She banged her gavel and gave him a gaze that would have withered a lesser alien.
    “You don’t understand,” he tried again undaunted, clearly unfamiliar with Judge Epstein’s species. “The level of gravity where I come from is significantly lower. If I don’t get out of here, I may implode.”
    “Yeah, you and me both, honey. Mr. Brenner, I don’t have all night! Move it along!” She banged her gavel again for good measure, narrowly missing the fingers of her clerk who was placing a file in front of her. I noticed that he had a nervous twitch, and I wondered whether or not that would be covered under Workmen’s Compensation.
    “I’m warning you,” Mr. Smith said, giving me an earnest look, “if I don’t get back to the Mother Ship soon, it will be very ugly.”
    “Look, Mr. Smith. I’m doing the best I can here, but the federal government is not noted for the speed of its response even during normal business hours. I wouldn’t exactly expect them to race down here at,” I glanced at my watch, “eleven-thirty PM on Halloween night because some guy from Nebulon Six doesn’t have the proper visa.”
    “I’m not trying to be difficult, Mrs. Pierce. I’m merely letting you know that there could be green innards all over the floor in here if I don’t get out of this gravity.”
    “It won’t be the first time, I’m sure, Mr. Smith. Now, go have a seat and I’ll let you know as soon as immigration gets here.”
    I turned and headed for the defense table to get the file for my next case.  Braden was there shuffling through some papers. Even after a year of married life, the sight of him still made my pulse race. He was big and blonde, like a Norse God, and he could do things to my body that sent me to another planet. Braden took sexy to illegal heights.
    Back in the day, the two of us had been known to engage in some very interesting negotiations in various locations here at the criminal courts building. Ironically, though, now that we worked together, we hardly ever appeared in court at the same time.  I had almost forgotten how seeing him so cool, confident and in control could melt my panties and make me want to be a bad girl.
    He looked up and I saw his eyes darken. He gave me his hot Braden sex look, and I was tempted to throw myself down on the defense table in front of him and plead for mercy. The fact that we could turn each other on with just a look, while standing in the middle of Philly Night Court, was a testament to the volcanic level of sexual chemistry we had.
    “Hey, Mr. Pierce,” I said in what I fancied to be my sultry voice. 
    “Mrs. Pierce, have you come to make a motion?” He gave me a cocky smile.
    “I don’t know that we would have a chance to fully reach a resolution. The pace here is pretty frantic.” One thing I didn’t need was the pressure of trying to reach the Promised Land before Judge Epstein started bellowing somewhere nearby.
    “She has to take a recess eventually. Nobody can sustain that much wrath for too long without a break. I’ve already spoken to my two clients, so I’m free and ready to engage in some private negotiations anytime you are.”
    “I’ve spoken to both of mine too. If she calls a recess of at least half an hour, you’re on. In the meanwhile, while