wedding, but to turn over my favorite purple pen to God, the pen that has written down a thousand hopes and dreams.
The wedding music is still playing in my head.
It’s like a compulsion. Before I know it, I’ve actually stepped onto the green-carpeted stage and grabbed a microphone.
“To my husband…”
I shake my head. I’m being ridiculous. But I’ve always wondered what my vows might sound like spoken. I’ve written them a hundred times, a hundred different ways. But I’ve actually never said them out loud.
“To my husband. I have waited so long for you. You have filled up the pages of my life before you ever touched my heart. But when you did touch my heart, you filled it more than words could ever express…”
I smile. This is sounding pretty goo—
Ahhhh!
“Freeze!”
I throw my hands up. The microphone drops to the carpet with a thud, but the purple pen is still in my clutches. A bright blinding light bounces toward me. I can’t see a thing; I only hear footsteps on the carpet.
“Don’t move!” More instructions. Okay, freeze. Don’t move. And come up with something clever. Quickly.
“Surrender your weapon! Now!”
Weapon? I look up at my hands. Oh, the purple pen. I’ve got lights and presumably guns pointing at me, and still, it’s a little hard to hand it over.
Surrender
the pen?
“NOW!”
I swallow and gently bend my knees. It takes three tries, but I finally set it on the carpet and stand back up.
The light lowers and behind it are my two best friends: Garrety and Lakeland.
“Oh, it’s our favorite speed dater,” Garrety says.
“Looking for your imaginary friend?” adds Lakeland.
I walk, as calmly as possible, off the stage.
Garrety peers at me. “Is that a tire iron sticking out of your—”
“Look,” I say, “I know how this appears.”
“It appears as though you jimmied the window open above the air-conditioning unit, which incidentally is tied to a silent alarm, and you’re now trying to steal valuable sound equipment.”
“I wasn’t stealing anything. In fact, I was giving God my…”
“Yes?” Lakeland leans in.
“My, um…” I look longingly back at my pen.
“What’s your name?” Garrety asks.
“Jessie Stone.”
“Lakeland, let me have a moment with Miss Stone.”
“Sure.” Lakeland steps to the back of the church and begins examining the sound board. Garrety sits on the highest step on the stage and pats it, indicating I should sit next to him. I do, because really I don’t see that I have any other options. I eye my pen, sitting on the carpet. The tire iron is awkwardly sticking out of my shirt, but I decide to pretend it’s not there, because he hasn’t mentioned it again and so I probably shouldn’t either.
“Now, young lady, why don’t you tell me what’s going on.”
I feel my eyes moisten. “It’s very complicated, Officer.”
“It always is. Just start from the beginning.”
I shake my head. “I don’t even know how to explain this.”
“When we came in, it sounded like you were rehearsing for a wedding.”
I nod solemnly. “Yes. I was.”
“So speed dating paid off?”
“No. I’m not even dating anyone. How pathetic is that? I’ve just always wanted to be married. I know it sounds stupid, but there’s something in me that needs that. I want it. I’ve dreamed my whole life of finding the right guy. But I’m thirty-four. Time is running out for me.”
Garrety shifts awkwardly. “You know, I was once like you.”
“You?”
“Me.” He smiles and rubs his bulging waistline. “I know, hard to believe. But I’m actually quite the romantic.”
“I can see that, I really can.”
“I’ve been married and divorced twice, and I can speak to the fact that as terrific as romance is, it’s not enough to carry you through the hard times. My first wife I married straight out of high school. She went to the prom with me, so I figured that was enough to get her to go through life with me.” He
The wedding music is still playing in my head.
It’s like a compulsion. Before I know it, I’ve actually stepped onto the green-carpeted stage and grabbed a microphone.
“To my husband…”
I shake my head. I’m being ridiculous. But I’ve always wondered what my vows might sound like spoken. I’ve written them a hundred times, a hundred different ways. But I’ve actually never said them out loud.
“To my husband. I have waited so long for you. You have filled up the pages of my life before you ever touched my heart. But when you did touch my heart, you filled it more than words could ever express…”
I smile. This is sounding pretty goo—
Ahhhh!
“Freeze!”
I throw my hands up. The microphone drops to the carpet with a thud, but the purple pen is still in my clutches. A bright blinding light bounces toward me. I can’t see a thing; I only hear footsteps on the carpet.
“Don’t move!” More instructions. Okay, freeze. Don’t move. And come up with something clever. Quickly.
“Surrender your weapon! Now!”
Weapon? I look up at my hands. Oh, the purple pen. I’ve got lights and presumably guns pointing at me, and still, it’s a little hard to hand it over.
Surrender
the pen?
“NOW!”
I swallow and gently bend my knees. It takes three tries, but I finally set it on the carpet and stand back up.
The light lowers and behind it are my two best friends: Garrety and Lakeland.
“Oh, it’s our favorite speed dater,” Garrety says.
“Looking for your imaginary friend?” adds Lakeland.
I walk, as calmly as possible, off the stage.
Garrety peers at me. “Is that a tire iron sticking out of your—”
“Look,” I say, “I know how this appears.”
“It appears as though you jimmied the window open above the air-conditioning unit, which incidentally is tied to a silent alarm, and you’re now trying to steal valuable sound equipment.”
“I wasn’t stealing anything. In fact, I was giving God my…”
“Yes?” Lakeland leans in.
“My, um…” I look longingly back at my pen.
“What’s your name?” Garrety asks.
“Jessie Stone.”
“Lakeland, let me have a moment with Miss Stone.”
“Sure.” Lakeland steps to the back of the church and begins examining the sound board. Garrety sits on the highest step on the stage and pats it, indicating I should sit next to him. I do, because really I don’t see that I have any other options. I eye my pen, sitting on the carpet. The tire iron is awkwardly sticking out of my shirt, but I decide to pretend it’s not there, because he hasn’t mentioned it again and so I probably shouldn’t either.
“Now, young lady, why don’t you tell me what’s going on.”
I feel my eyes moisten. “It’s very complicated, Officer.”
“It always is. Just start from the beginning.”
I shake my head. “I don’t even know how to explain this.”
“When we came in, it sounded like you were rehearsing for a wedding.”
I nod solemnly. “Yes. I was.”
“So speed dating paid off?”
“No. I’m not even dating anyone. How pathetic is that? I’ve just always wanted to be married. I know it sounds stupid, but there’s something in me that needs that. I want it. I’ve dreamed my whole life of finding the right guy. But I’m thirty-four. Time is running out for me.”
Garrety shifts awkwardly. “You know, I was once like you.”
“You?”
“Me.” He smiles and rubs his bulging waistline. “I know, hard to believe. But I’m actually quite the romantic.”
“I can see that, I really can.”
“I’ve been married and divorced twice, and I can speak to the fact that as terrific as romance is, it’s not enough to carry you through the hard times. My first wife I married straight out of high school. She went to the prom with me, so I figured that was enough to get her to go through life with me.” He
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