really met, how we picked me up out of the glass and carried me outside, pulled shards from my skin, and sat on the beach with me to talk. Just talk. About nothing and everything, open and honest. I hope to God I don't screw things up with him.
“I was calling to see what you're doing for Christmas,” she says, and I can already tell that she has something in mind.
“Apparently, we're going to my ex-boyfriend's cabin wherein lies an anatomically correct statue of a buck and the opportunity to convince my younger sister to bite the bullet and try to get in his pants.” Lacey laughs, but only because she isn't looking Noah Scott in the face in one of those epic oops moments that haunt you for life. “Shit.”
He pauses awkwardly by the door, but it's too late for either of us to pretend he hasn't heard. We both stay very, very still.
“I want to see you, and we don't have any plans, and I really, really need to see little Noah, so … ”
“I'll text you the address here,” I say and she squeals. My eyes are still locked onto the baby blues of the man I lost it to, who was so sweet and kind, who I totally and completely fucked over. What if, somehow, I damage Ty the way I damaged Noah? What if I'm just not meant to be with any one person? Maybe that's why I slept around so much … because I'm not worthy of keeping. I shake my head to clear it of this bullshit. “I'll send over our schedule when we know what it is.”
“Yay! Okay, love you, Nev. I'll talk to you later. Trini and I are about to hit up the beach.” The phone call ends and I drop it into my lap. I clear my throat and get ready to apologize but Noah interrupts me.
“We had a one-night stand, Never.”
“Yeah, I mean, I guess you could call it that,” I say, feeling offended that that's how he remembers us. It might've been one night, but it wasn't a stand, it was a declaration. I pined for him for years, and that's how he thinks of us? Noah lifts up his hands and looks back and forth, flicking his eyes here and there like he expects Ty to jump out and growl. And you know, he just might do that.
“Not you and me, Zella and me.” My brows climb high and kiss my scalp. Nausea climbs my throat when a meaty smell wafts out of the kitchen, but I push it back. Noah sighs and leans against the wall, closing his eyes and sucking in a humongous breath.
“When?” I need to know everything, all the details. This is such bull. That little bitch has been keeping secrets from me. I wonder what else Zella is up to back in Texas.
“The day you left to go to New York. I, we, I knew for sure we were done for good, and I just … I lost it. I cried and I … I broke a window in your bedroom.” I think about it, but can't picture anything different. I must not have been paying attention. Either that or the midwestern wind has already coated the window is so much dirt and gunk that it doesn't look new anymore.
“Why?” Now it's my turn to look around and see if Ty's listening in. But my reasons are different than Noah's. I want Ty to hear. I want him to know the pain I inflicted on another person. I want him to know he can't trust me. But most of all, I want him to sweep back in here and take me in his arms. God, I'm fucking needy.
“I loved you so much,” Noah says, keeping his eyes closed, doing his best to control his breathing. “I waited for you for so long, and then not to even have a chance … ” He finally drops his chin and cracks his gaze, focusing all of that longing and need into a single beam. I have to glance away because it's not right for me to accept this. I have no hold on him, and he will never have a hold on me. I've got to convince him to move on. I thought he was okay, but this look, these feelings. Maybe he's not? “Zella was there, and we'd been talking for years, so … we had sex.” He swallows hard. “And I told her I wasn't interested in a relationship. I mean, I told her that before we had sex, so she'd know. I
“I was calling to see what you're doing for Christmas,” she says, and I can already tell that she has something in mind.
“Apparently, we're going to my ex-boyfriend's cabin wherein lies an anatomically correct statue of a buck and the opportunity to convince my younger sister to bite the bullet and try to get in his pants.” Lacey laughs, but only because she isn't looking Noah Scott in the face in one of those epic oops moments that haunt you for life. “Shit.”
He pauses awkwardly by the door, but it's too late for either of us to pretend he hasn't heard. We both stay very, very still.
“I want to see you, and we don't have any plans, and I really, really need to see little Noah, so … ”
“I'll text you the address here,” I say and she squeals. My eyes are still locked onto the baby blues of the man I lost it to, who was so sweet and kind, who I totally and completely fucked over. What if, somehow, I damage Ty the way I damaged Noah? What if I'm just not meant to be with any one person? Maybe that's why I slept around so much … because I'm not worthy of keeping. I shake my head to clear it of this bullshit. “I'll send over our schedule when we know what it is.”
“Yay! Okay, love you, Nev. I'll talk to you later. Trini and I are about to hit up the beach.” The phone call ends and I drop it into my lap. I clear my throat and get ready to apologize but Noah interrupts me.
“We had a one-night stand, Never.”
“Yeah, I mean, I guess you could call it that,” I say, feeling offended that that's how he remembers us. It might've been one night, but it wasn't a stand, it was a declaration. I pined for him for years, and that's how he thinks of us? Noah lifts up his hands and looks back and forth, flicking his eyes here and there like he expects Ty to jump out and growl. And you know, he just might do that.
“Not you and me, Zella and me.” My brows climb high and kiss my scalp. Nausea climbs my throat when a meaty smell wafts out of the kitchen, but I push it back. Noah sighs and leans against the wall, closing his eyes and sucking in a humongous breath.
“When?” I need to know everything, all the details. This is such bull. That little bitch has been keeping secrets from me. I wonder what else Zella is up to back in Texas.
“The day you left to go to New York. I, we, I knew for sure we were done for good, and I just … I lost it. I cried and I … I broke a window in your bedroom.” I think about it, but can't picture anything different. I must not have been paying attention. Either that or the midwestern wind has already coated the window is so much dirt and gunk that it doesn't look new anymore.
“Why?” Now it's my turn to look around and see if Ty's listening in. But my reasons are different than Noah's. I want Ty to hear. I want him to know the pain I inflicted on another person. I want him to know he can't trust me. But most of all, I want him to sweep back in here and take me in his arms. God, I'm fucking needy.
“I loved you so much,” Noah says, keeping his eyes closed, doing his best to control his breathing. “I waited for you for so long, and then not to even have a chance … ” He finally drops his chin and cracks his gaze, focusing all of that longing and need into a single beam. I have to glance away because it's not right for me to accept this. I have no hold on him, and he will never have a hold on me. I've got to convince him to move on. I thought he was okay, but this look, these feelings. Maybe he's not? “Zella was there, and we'd been talking for years, so … we had sex.” He swallows hard. “And I told her I wasn't interested in a relationship. I mean, I told her that before we had sex, so she'd know. I
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