nipples were hard. My brain and my body wanted two different things.
My body wanted nothing more than for him to pull over and fuck me into oblivion on the side of the road.
But my brain wanted an explanation as to why he kept fighting his feelings for me, why he couldn’t just take a chance and see where things went. It kept wondering why I didn’t matter enough to him to take that risk, when he was all that mattered to me.
I wanted to cry for the sheer reason that my heart was still beating just as fast as it had when I first spotted Elec. Except now I knew that it had nothing to do with my ex. My heart was no longer hurting for Elec; it was hurting for Damien. I was afraid Damien was going to hurt me far worse than Elec ever did.
“Where are we going?”
“Someplace where we can both blow off steam. It was where I’d planned to take you after lunch anyway.”
“You’re not gonna tell me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you?”
While he didn’t respond, his face turned uncharacteristically red in reaction to my attempt to address the kiss. He just kept driving.
Forty-five minutes later, we were in Santa Cruz, and I’d figured out where he was taking me.
I grinned. “We’re going to the boardwalk.”
“I haven’t actually been back here in years. You?”
“Not since I was a teenager.”
“My dad used to take Tyler and me here all the time. Many of the best memories from my childhood took place here.”
“What made you want to come here today?”
“I don’t know exactly. I just knew I wanted to come here with you.” His admission gave me butterflies.
After we found a parking spot, I vowed to try to shake off what happened back at the burger joint.
“What do you want to do first?” he asked.
“Well, I’m starting to get my appetite back.”
“Let’s go get you fed, then.”
Damien let me choose the food, and I picked one of the concession places right on the boardwalk. He ordered pizza while I opted for a giant corn dog on a stick that looked obscene. Some angel of perversity must have been laughing down on me because this thing even had a sprouted tip that looked like a crown. It was unfortunately not the best choice for today, given the sexual awkwardness that was still lingering in the air around us.
After we carried our food over to an empty bench that overlooked the Pacific Ocean, I was hesitant to even put the thing in my mouth with Damien watching me. It just seemed wrong. Way to go, Chelsea.
“I don’t know whether to lick this or bite it.” I laughed.
“Out of everything you could have chosen, you had to order a giant dick?”
“This would only happen to me. Can you like look away or something while I take a bite?”
“No fucking way. I want a front row seat to this.”
“Seriously, this has got to be up there as one of the strangest days of my life.”
“Whatever are you talking about?” he joked.
“Thank you again for that diversion at the burger place.”
“The pleasure was all mine,” he said sincerely.
“It brings me great satisfaction to know that instead of making a fool out of myself in front of him, I had the upper hand today. He left believing that I was happy and had moved on, even if that’s not the case. It was the best possible scenario.” As Damien just continued to stare at me, letting his pizza get cold, I had an epiphany when I said, “You changed the story.”
His mouth curved into a grin. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“Seriously. This could have been the most devastating day. I could’ve humiliated myself or lost my words in front of them, but instead, I didn’t have to deal with all of that. I’m at an amusement park instead.”
“About to eat a giant dick,” he added.
“Like this?”
When I exaggeratedly flicked my tongue slowly along my corn dog’s obscene crusted tip, Damien looked away. “Okay…um, fuck. That’s too much.”
“Sorry.”
“The fuck you are, you
My body wanted nothing more than for him to pull over and fuck me into oblivion on the side of the road.
But my brain wanted an explanation as to why he kept fighting his feelings for me, why he couldn’t just take a chance and see where things went. It kept wondering why I didn’t matter enough to him to take that risk, when he was all that mattered to me.
I wanted to cry for the sheer reason that my heart was still beating just as fast as it had when I first spotted Elec. Except now I knew that it had nothing to do with my ex. My heart was no longer hurting for Elec; it was hurting for Damien. I was afraid Damien was going to hurt me far worse than Elec ever did.
“Where are we going?”
“Someplace where we can both blow off steam. It was where I’d planned to take you after lunch anyway.”
“You’re not gonna tell me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you?”
While he didn’t respond, his face turned uncharacteristically red in reaction to my attempt to address the kiss. He just kept driving.
Forty-five minutes later, we were in Santa Cruz, and I’d figured out where he was taking me.
I grinned. “We’re going to the boardwalk.”
“I haven’t actually been back here in years. You?”
“Not since I was a teenager.”
“My dad used to take Tyler and me here all the time. Many of the best memories from my childhood took place here.”
“What made you want to come here today?”
“I don’t know exactly. I just knew I wanted to come here with you.” His admission gave me butterflies.
After we found a parking spot, I vowed to try to shake off what happened back at the burger joint.
“What do you want to do first?” he asked.
“Well, I’m starting to get my appetite back.”
“Let’s go get you fed, then.”
Damien let me choose the food, and I picked one of the concession places right on the boardwalk. He ordered pizza while I opted for a giant corn dog on a stick that looked obscene. Some angel of perversity must have been laughing down on me because this thing even had a sprouted tip that looked like a crown. It was unfortunately not the best choice for today, given the sexual awkwardness that was still lingering in the air around us.
After we carried our food over to an empty bench that overlooked the Pacific Ocean, I was hesitant to even put the thing in my mouth with Damien watching me. It just seemed wrong. Way to go, Chelsea.
“I don’t know whether to lick this or bite it.” I laughed.
“Out of everything you could have chosen, you had to order a giant dick?”
“This would only happen to me. Can you like look away or something while I take a bite?”
“No fucking way. I want a front row seat to this.”
“Seriously, this has got to be up there as one of the strangest days of my life.”
“Whatever are you talking about?” he joked.
“Thank you again for that diversion at the burger place.”
“The pleasure was all mine,” he said sincerely.
“It brings me great satisfaction to know that instead of making a fool out of myself in front of him, I had the upper hand today. He left believing that I was happy and had moved on, even if that’s not the case. It was the best possible scenario.” As Damien just continued to stare at me, letting his pizza get cold, I had an epiphany when I said, “You changed the story.”
His mouth curved into a grin. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“Seriously. This could have been the most devastating day. I could’ve humiliated myself or lost my words in front of them, but instead, I didn’t have to deal with all of that. I’m at an amusement park instead.”
“About to eat a giant dick,” he added.
“Like this?”
When I exaggeratedly flicked my tongue slowly along my corn dog’s obscene crusted tip, Damien looked away. “Okay…um, fuck. That’s too much.”
“Sorry.”
“The fuck you are, you
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