back.”
His dark eyes fixed her with a glance so scornful he could almost see her wither. “Anna, it’s very simple for me to find out the truth. All I have to do is ask Michaela.”
“But I told you -- ” She broke off. Then sounding too weary to even bother pretending, she said, “You don’t have to ask her. I took it.”
She was full of surprises today. He had expected to hear her brazen it through to the bitter end, the way she usually did. “Why do you do things like that?”
She stared at the ground without answering. “Anna, you’ve got to promise me you’ll give it back.”
“How can I do that? What would I tell her?”
“You’ll tell her the truth. And you’ll tell her you’re sorry. And what’s more, you’ll do it right now and in front of me, because I don’t trust you.”
For a moment he was almost afraid she was going to cry. He should have known better, though. It would take more than that to make Anna cry. Instead, she chewed on a sore-looking spot on her lip. At length she said, “All right. I’ll give it back. But why do you have to be so mean to me? First, it was her. Now it’s you. You’re both trying to torture me, and I don’t know why.”
“Oh, stop being so melodramatic.”
“I want to talk to you, and you won’t even listen.”
“Oh, I listened all right.”
“I thought I could tell you how I felt.”
“I don’t think you have any feelings.”
Anna got up and picked up her carryall. “I don’t know why I ever thought I could tell you. You can’t talk to someone who hates you.” She turned away from him and started across the park.
He sprang to his feet, grabbed his violin case, and followed. “Now, just a minute. I never said anything about hating you.”
“But you do.”
“Now don’t you put words in my mouth! I don’t hate you or anyone else. There’s no point in hating people. It would only use up the energy I need for music.”
“Well, you don’t like me. Else you would have listened.”
“I listened. I’m listening now. What do you want to tell me?”
She shook her head. “I can’t now.”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. She was making him feel guilty, and that made him even madder. “Damn it, Anna, if you want to tell me something, tell me!” To his astonishment, he saw tears glint in her eyes. He could never remember seeing Anna cry. Now he felt thoroughly miserable. Where was all the kindness he was supposed to be showing? “What is it?” he said more gently.
In an anguished voice, she said, “Oh Rowan, I don’t know who I am. I don’t even know if there is any me.” The tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. “Help me.”
13
The moment Michaela opened her door, Anna thrust the music box toward her and, for Rowan’s benefit, said, “I was the one who took it.”
“I know, Anna.” Michaela calmly accepted her property. “I’m glad you saw fit to return it.”
Anna felt Rowan poke her arm and knew what he wanted from her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why I took it, but I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I dropped it and chipped it.” She was only mouthing the words. The truth was she felt nothing except relief. She was appeasing Rowan and getting rid of the music that had caused her so much pain.
As Michaela examined the damage, Anna glanced at Rowan to see if her apology had satisfied him. His eyes, dark and brooding, were fixed on Michaela. “I’m really sorry this happened -- awfully sorry,” he said.
The intensity in his voice struck a chord someplace deep inside Anna and evoked an unfamiliar emotion, guilt. Not because she regretted taking something that didn’t belong to her, but because she realized she had shamed Rowan. He was apologizing for what she had done, and the act was obviously more painful for him than for her. All the guilt and shame she should have felt for her crime surfaced now because of him, because he could feel what she could not. And
His dark eyes fixed her with a glance so scornful he could almost see her wither. “Anna, it’s very simple for me to find out the truth. All I have to do is ask Michaela.”
“But I told you -- ” She broke off. Then sounding too weary to even bother pretending, she said, “You don’t have to ask her. I took it.”
She was full of surprises today. He had expected to hear her brazen it through to the bitter end, the way she usually did. “Why do you do things like that?”
She stared at the ground without answering. “Anna, you’ve got to promise me you’ll give it back.”
“How can I do that? What would I tell her?”
“You’ll tell her the truth. And you’ll tell her you’re sorry. And what’s more, you’ll do it right now and in front of me, because I don’t trust you.”
For a moment he was almost afraid she was going to cry. He should have known better, though. It would take more than that to make Anna cry. Instead, she chewed on a sore-looking spot on her lip. At length she said, “All right. I’ll give it back. But why do you have to be so mean to me? First, it was her. Now it’s you. You’re both trying to torture me, and I don’t know why.”
“Oh, stop being so melodramatic.”
“I want to talk to you, and you won’t even listen.”
“Oh, I listened all right.”
“I thought I could tell you how I felt.”
“I don’t think you have any feelings.”
Anna got up and picked up her carryall. “I don’t know why I ever thought I could tell you. You can’t talk to someone who hates you.” She turned away from him and started across the park.
He sprang to his feet, grabbed his violin case, and followed. “Now, just a minute. I never said anything about hating you.”
“But you do.”
“Now don’t you put words in my mouth! I don’t hate you or anyone else. There’s no point in hating people. It would only use up the energy I need for music.”
“Well, you don’t like me. Else you would have listened.”
“I listened. I’m listening now. What do you want to tell me?”
She shook her head. “I can’t now.”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. She was making him feel guilty, and that made him even madder. “Damn it, Anna, if you want to tell me something, tell me!” To his astonishment, he saw tears glint in her eyes. He could never remember seeing Anna cry. Now he felt thoroughly miserable. Where was all the kindness he was supposed to be showing? “What is it?” he said more gently.
In an anguished voice, she said, “Oh Rowan, I don’t know who I am. I don’t even know if there is any me.” The tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. “Help me.”
13
The moment Michaela opened her door, Anna thrust the music box toward her and, for Rowan’s benefit, said, “I was the one who took it.”
“I know, Anna.” Michaela calmly accepted her property. “I’m glad you saw fit to return it.”
Anna felt Rowan poke her arm and knew what he wanted from her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why I took it, but I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I dropped it and chipped it.” She was only mouthing the words. The truth was she felt nothing except relief. She was appeasing Rowan and getting rid of the music that had caused her so much pain.
As Michaela examined the damage, Anna glanced at Rowan to see if her apology had satisfied him. His eyes, dark and brooding, were fixed on Michaela. “I’m really sorry this happened -- awfully sorry,” he said.
The intensity in his voice struck a chord someplace deep inside Anna and evoked an unfamiliar emotion, guilt. Not because she regretted taking something that didn’t belong to her, but because she realized she had shamed Rowan. He was apologizing for what she had done, and the act was obviously more painful for him than for her. All the guilt and shame she should have felt for her crime surfaced now because of him, because he could feel what she could not. And
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