aren’t, any of us, just one thing. Look at your shop. You’re like a Mistress there. You take your customers’ desires, push them that last step, give them permission to be who they want to be.”
“That might be a stretch,” she demurred, but she hadn’t really thought about it that way. She traced his forearm, the layer of hair there. “I think it’s the control freak thing that sometimes makes people think . . . I always want to be in control.”
“It can be a gray line. Most Doms are control freaks.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. “Not me.”
“Of course not.”
He gave her a light pinch. “Ironically, I’ve found a lot of female subs
are
control freaks. Our society demands that women succeed at so many things. The only time you let go of that is with the right Dominant personality. Maybe that kind of sub recognizes a control freak bigger and badder than herself and, like a strong alpha female in a wolf pack, she’s willing to let him or her Dominate her.”
She didn’t have the brain function to know exactly where he was going with this, but the words resonated. Rolling her head back on his shoulder, she turned her nose to his shirt, inhaling his scent. She hoped it would imprint itself on her, just like an animal. She was in a very odd place, for sure.
He dipped his head, touched her lips with his, once, twice, then settled back a few inches. There were flecks of gold in his eyes, just like she imagined a wolf would have. “Alice said that the biggest thing you and I had in common is we never followed her relationship advice.”
“She tried to give
you
relationship advice?”
“All the time.” He grinned. “I needed it, but that didn’t mean I listened, any more than you did. The relationships I tried to have outside club sessions never worked. I had a knack for picking the wrong mix. Alice called it a case of the prophet being blind to his own humanity.”
“Sounds like her.”
In the wry twist of his lips, she saw an echo of the exasperation she’d often exhibited when her sister tried to impose her will upon her. At least that was the way it had felt at the time. She had a different perspective of it now. Alice had wanted her to be happy, and whether or not she had the right or wrong advice for that, the desire to put her on that path would have been driven by love, not a need to run Madison’s life, as she’d resentfully assumed. The thought sent a hard shot of longing through her, a couple more tears seeping out.
He kissed the tears away, held her close, started that light rocking again. “Tell me the rest?” she asked in a whisper. He nodded.
“Every time I hit that brick wall, failed again, she didn’t say ‘I told you so.’ She didn’t seem smug about it at all.”
“I know. That’s part of what made it so infuriating.”
“Yeah.” He paused, and he swallowed against her temple. “She was a true friend. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so self-assured and yet devoid of ego. She was afraid of true intimacy with a lover; that was her kryptonite. Yet she had infallible judgment when it came to enhancing that quality between others.”
He coiled his fingers in her hair, cradling her head in his palm so she met his gaze once more. “And before you even think it again, once and for all, now and forever, you are not, and never will be, a surrogate for your sister to me. What you are is my last promise to her.”
Her brow furrowed at a hitch in his voice. He gave her a quick, strained smile. “She made me swear to give being with you a try. ‘Even if it doesn’t work out, please take care of her, Logan. Watch over her. If it doesn’t work out, being lovers, promise me you’ll still be her best friend. She’s going to need one of those
.
’”
“Oh, Alice . . .” Emotions swelled back up, clogging her throat. Again Logan held her close, but this time she held him in return, the two of them comforting each other for the loss of family,
“That might be a stretch,” she demurred, but she hadn’t really thought about it that way. She traced his forearm, the layer of hair there. “I think it’s the control freak thing that sometimes makes people think . . . I always want to be in control.”
“It can be a gray line. Most Doms are control freaks.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. “Not me.”
“Of course not.”
He gave her a light pinch. “Ironically, I’ve found a lot of female subs
are
control freaks. Our society demands that women succeed at so many things. The only time you let go of that is with the right Dominant personality. Maybe that kind of sub recognizes a control freak bigger and badder than herself and, like a strong alpha female in a wolf pack, she’s willing to let him or her Dominate her.”
She didn’t have the brain function to know exactly where he was going with this, but the words resonated. Rolling her head back on his shoulder, she turned her nose to his shirt, inhaling his scent. She hoped it would imprint itself on her, just like an animal. She was in a very odd place, for sure.
He dipped his head, touched her lips with his, once, twice, then settled back a few inches. There were flecks of gold in his eyes, just like she imagined a wolf would have. “Alice said that the biggest thing you and I had in common is we never followed her relationship advice.”
“She tried to give
you
relationship advice?”
“All the time.” He grinned. “I needed it, but that didn’t mean I listened, any more than you did. The relationships I tried to have outside club sessions never worked. I had a knack for picking the wrong mix. Alice called it a case of the prophet being blind to his own humanity.”
“Sounds like her.”
In the wry twist of his lips, she saw an echo of the exasperation she’d often exhibited when her sister tried to impose her will upon her. At least that was the way it had felt at the time. She had a different perspective of it now. Alice had wanted her to be happy, and whether or not she had the right or wrong advice for that, the desire to put her on that path would have been driven by love, not a need to run Madison’s life, as she’d resentfully assumed. The thought sent a hard shot of longing through her, a couple more tears seeping out.
He kissed the tears away, held her close, started that light rocking again. “Tell me the rest?” she asked in a whisper. He nodded.
“Every time I hit that brick wall, failed again, she didn’t say ‘I told you so.’ She didn’t seem smug about it at all.”
“I know. That’s part of what made it so infuriating.”
“Yeah.” He paused, and he swallowed against her temple. “She was a true friend. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so self-assured and yet devoid of ego. She was afraid of true intimacy with a lover; that was her kryptonite. Yet she had infallible judgment when it came to enhancing that quality between others.”
He coiled his fingers in her hair, cradling her head in his palm so she met his gaze once more. “And before you even think it again, once and for all, now and forever, you are not, and never will be, a surrogate for your sister to me. What you are is my last promise to her.”
Her brow furrowed at a hitch in his voice. He gave her a quick, strained smile. “She made me swear to give being with you a try. ‘Even if it doesn’t work out, please take care of her, Logan. Watch over her. If it doesn’t work out, being lovers, promise me you’ll still be her best friend. She’s going to need one of those
.
’”
“Oh, Alice . . .” Emotions swelled back up, clogging her throat. Again Logan held her close, but this time she held him in return, the two of them comforting each other for the loss of family,
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