hotel in town was about to get a flying pig come crashing in through its window. That was until it happened . . .
Someone opened a chocolate bar.
Now the sound of a chocolate bar wrapper being torn open is very distinctive. And Nanny Piggins' hearing was so good, she could tell the difference between a Kit-Kat and a Mars Bar being opened from five kilometres away. So when she heard that magical noise, she never really made a conscious decision. Her entire body simply responded reflexively, swooping in the general direction of the sound and snapping the chocolate bar out of the hand of its owner, who just happened to be the Norwegian judge.
The entire crowd groaned with disappointment.
When the children found Nanny Piggins she was sitting in the snow behind the judges' table, trying to lick every last trace of chocolate out of the wrapper.
'Oh, Nanny Piggins,' sympathised Samantha. 'Are you all right?'
Boris did not say anything. He just wrapped his sister in a bear hug.
'Are you dreadfully disappointed to be disqualified and lose out on the gold medal?' asked Derrick.
Nanny Piggins looked up. 'Gold medal?' It took her a moment to realise what they were saying. 'Why would I worry about that? I've just had the most delicious chocolate bar.'
'But, Nanny Piggins,' said Michael, 'I think that Norweigan judge may have opened the chocolate bar on purpose to trick you into not winning.'
'Then he is a very silly man indeed,' said Nanny Piggins, 'because who got to eat the chocolate bar? Not him! Really, I don't know how these men get to be national officials. Their priorities are all wrong.'
'You've been thrown out of the national team,' said Samantha.
'We have to go back to living with Father,' said Derrick.
'It's probably for the best,' said Nanny Piggins. 'We shouldn't really leave your father unattended for too long. It isn't fair on the rest of the community. And ski jumping is exhausting.'
'But you never do any training or practice,' said Michael.
'I know, but being universally admired is hard work,' explained Nanny Piggins. 'Besides, I much prefer being a nanny. It's more exciting.'
And so Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children headed home that afternoon, satisfied that they had enjoyed a lovely two-week holiday, and completely revolutionised the sport of ski jumping at the same time.
'How dare you suggest such a price!' yelled Nanny Piggins.
'You are trying to ruin me!' accused the shopkeeper.
Boris and the children were standing on the sixth floor of a restaurant supply shop in Chinatown watching Nanny Piggins haggle over the price of a new wok. It was a quite a show.
'Do you want my family to starve?' demanded the shopkeeper.
'It is the children I care for who will starve if I agree to your extortionate demands,' countered Nanny Piggins.
'If you can't afford a wok, maybe you should just eat your food raw!' yelled the shopkeeper.
Nanny Piggins' old wok had been ruined earlier that morning in a backyard badminton accident. She had been using it as a racquet (because the badminton racquets were ruined when they played Scott of the Antarctic. They had made excellent snowshoes but sadly, like Scott, the racquets did not survive).
To win the badminton game, Nanny Piggins had thrown herself full stretch at the shuttlecock and hit a brilliant volley. Unfortunately Boris was so delighted by his sister's success he jumped up and down excitedly, accidentally jumping on Nanny Piggins' wok. And while woks are designed to withstand incredibly high temperatures and extremely bad-tempered chefs, they are not designed to withstand the full weight of a 700-kilogram bear.
Which is how she came to be haggling with the shopkeeper. Now, Nanny Piggins and the shopkeeper both knew what price she would end up paying for the wok, but they both enjoyed haggling. You see, in ordinary day-to-day life it is frowned upon to yell loudly at someone, call them names and wave your arms about. But when you are haggling that is all
Someone opened a chocolate bar.
Now the sound of a chocolate bar wrapper being torn open is very distinctive. And Nanny Piggins' hearing was so good, she could tell the difference between a Kit-Kat and a Mars Bar being opened from five kilometres away. So when she heard that magical noise, she never really made a conscious decision. Her entire body simply responded reflexively, swooping in the general direction of the sound and snapping the chocolate bar out of the hand of its owner, who just happened to be the Norwegian judge.
The entire crowd groaned with disappointment.
When the children found Nanny Piggins she was sitting in the snow behind the judges' table, trying to lick every last trace of chocolate out of the wrapper.
'Oh, Nanny Piggins,' sympathised Samantha. 'Are you all right?'
Boris did not say anything. He just wrapped his sister in a bear hug.
'Are you dreadfully disappointed to be disqualified and lose out on the gold medal?' asked Derrick.
Nanny Piggins looked up. 'Gold medal?' It took her a moment to realise what they were saying. 'Why would I worry about that? I've just had the most delicious chocolate bar.'
'But, Nanny Piggins,' said Michael, 'I think that Norweigan judge may have opened the chocolate bar on purpose to trick you into not winning.'
'Then he is a very silly man indeed,' said Nanny Piggins, 'because who got to eat the chocolate bar? Not him! Really, I don't know how these men get to be national officials. Their priorities are all wrong.'
'You've been thrown out of the national team,' said Samantha.
'We have to go back to living with Father,' said Derrick.
'It's probably for the best,' said Nanny Piggins. 'We shouldn't really leave your father unattended for too long. It isn't fair on the rest of the community. And ski jumping is exhausting.'
'But you never do any training or practice,' said Michael.
'I know, but being universally admired is hard work,' explained Nanny Piggins. 'Besides, I much prefer being a nanny. It's more exciting.'
And so Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children headed home that afternoon, satisfied that they had enjoyed a lovely two-week holiday, and completely revolutionised the sport of ski jumping at the same time.
'How dare you suggest such a price!' yelled Nanny Piggins.
'You are trying to ruin me!' accused the shopkeeper.
Boris and the children were standing on the sixth floor of a restaurant supply shop in Chinatown watching Nanny Piggins haggle over the price of a new wok. It was a quite a show.
'Do you want my family to starve?' demanded the shopkeeper.
'It is the children I care for who will starve if I agree to your extortionate demands,' countered Nanny Piggins.
'If you can't afford a wok, maybe you should just eat your food raw!' yelled the shopkeeper.
Nanny Piggins' old wok had been ruined earlier that morning in a backyard badminton accident. She had been using it as a racquet (because the badminton racquets were ruined when they played Scott of the Antarctic. They had made excellent snowshoes but sadly, like Scott, the racquets did not survive).
To win the badminton game, Nanny Piggins had thrown herself full stretch at the shuttlecock and hit a brilliant volley. Unfortunately Boris was so delighted by his sister's success he jumped up and down excitedly, accidentally jumping on Nanny Piggins' wok. And while woks are designed to withstand incredibly high temperatures and extremely bad-tempered chefs, they are not designed to withstand the full weight of a 700-kilogram bear.
Which is how she came to be haggling with the shopkeeper. Now, Nanny Piggins and the shopkeeper both knew what price she would end up paying for the wok, but they both enjoyed haggling. You see, in ordinary day-to-day life it is frowned upon to yell loudly at someone, call them names and wave your arms about. But when you are haggling that is all
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