Nanny Piggins and the Daring Rescue 7 by R. A. Spratt Page A

Piggins?’ asked the executive producer. (She had banned him from her writing room because she said the smell of his hair dye put her off what she was writing.)
    â€˜Huh,’ said Nanny Piggins, which is what she said when she did not want to distract her brain with trying to think up words.
    â€˜It’s just that the actors are arriving for the read-through, and when we get them to read the back of cereal packets instead of scripts, they notice and complain to their agents,’ said the executive producer.
    At that very moment Nanny Piggins slapped the carriage of the typewriter across, giving one final ‘ding’.
    â€˜All done,’ she announced.
    â€˜What happens?’ asked Samantha. ‘Does Dante learn to speak again and tell Isabella that he loves her?’
    â€˜Does Crevasse climb out of the well and tell Sienna that he loves her?’ asked Michael.
    â€˜Does Elizabetta recover from the snake bite that she got when Bridge put a cobra in Dyson’s bed, because he thought he was having an affair with Bethany?’ asked Derrick.
    â€˜And do I need to go and buy another box of tissues?’ asked Boris.
    â€˜Yes, to all your questions!’ announced Nanny Piggins, ‘and a whole lot more.’

    After photocopying the script, Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children went down to the rehearsal room. The actors were sitting at tables arranged in a horseshoe shape. Nanny Piggins took her place at the head of the horseshoe, while the script assistant (a young woman who Nanny Piggins had largely employed to scour the city looking for more sherbet flying saucers) passed out the scripts.
    â€˜Shall we begin?’ said Nanny Piggins confidently.
    â€˜There are an awful lot of lines saying, ‘Mmmfff om-mmm-m-m,’ noticed the actor who played Crevasse as he scanned through the script.
    â€˜Yes,’ agreed Nanny Piggins. ‘That’s because that is the noise you make when you eat cake.’
    â€˜I don’t make that noise when I eat cake,’ contradicted the elegant actress who played Sabrina.
    â€˜Then you have never eaten a truly delicious cake,’ said Nanny Piggins, ‘Here, I’ll give you some. I happen to have a slice of caramel-coated angel cake that I whipped up this morning.’ Nanny Piggins fished the slice out of her handbag. There was some lint and old cough lollies from the bottom of her handbag stuck to the toffee icing. Nanny Piggins just picked them off and handed it to the actress.
    The actress looked disgusted. But she had a large mortgage and did not want to offend the only remaining writer on her show, so she took a bite. ‘Mmmfff-om-mmm-m-m,’ said the actress.
    Nanny Piggins smiled, ‘Good, isn’t it?’
    â€˜Do you have more?’ asked the actress as she gobbled down the entire slice.
    â€˜Oh yes,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘I never leave the house without basic supplies. Michael, would you mind running out to the car and bringing in two dozen, no, better make it four dozen cakes?’
    â€˜Sure,’ said Michael, running from the room.
    â€˜Today I’d like you to try method acting,’ said Nanny Piggins.
    â€˜What’s method acting?’ Samantha whispered to Boris.
    â€˜It’s kind of the opposite of what you think acting should be,’ explained Boris. ‘Instead of pretending to do something, a method actor actually does it. So if a part required them to act like they were jumping off a cliff, a method actor would actually jump off a cliff.’
    â€˜Really?’ said Samantha, not truly understanding. ‘And is this a popular style of acting?’
    â€˜Oh yes,’ said Boris, ‘with actors who don’t like to act.’
    â€˜Since there is so much cake-eating in the script, I want you all to eat cake while you’re reading your lines,’ instructed Nanny Piggins.
    â€˜But won’t we get fat?’ protested a young slim