to say.”
He sighed. “It all feels like it was a very long time ago. Has it only been a day? It feels like it’s been an eternity.”
“I found you yesterday.”
He looked into my eyes, and I was embarrassed by the emotion I saw there. “Luna, I am so sorry. I’ve been thinking about it all night. What it must have been like to find me. Like when I found Dad. I thought of how Lydia would feel, knowing I did what I did. Feeling like she wasn’t good enough to live for.”
His eyes were tearing up again, and this time it wasn’t in hysterical laughter. I took his cold hand in mine.
“ Never do something like that again. That goes without saying. I want to tell you Lydia would have made it through, because we made it through, but you know how it would have been. Seth, you know. Why would you have even thought of suicide, even for a second? How could you do that to her?”
He shook his head. “That’s the thing. I have no idea.” I growled and pulled my hand away, but Seth grabbed it in both of his. “I’m serious, Luna. You know how I feel about Dad. How I was angry at him for giving up and leaving us all alone. Feeling guilty, feeling we should have done something, been more. But last night, I just felt…different. I felt like I was doing her a favor, almost. I know,” he said, when I started getting upset again. “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how it felt. Besides, after Sparkles came over—”
“ To our house?” Suddenly my antenna was up. Seriously, talking to Sparkles could make anybody want to die. But this was more sinister than that, and I knew it.
Seth took a deep breath. “Yes. Sparkles came over to the house yesterday. She said she wanted to discuss the arrangement with Lydia. And before you interrupt,” he said, just as I was about to interrupt, “I told her there had been no arrangement with Lydia. She had bailed out on all of us. I actually gave her a pretty good piece of my mind,” he said smugly. “You would have been proud of me.”
“Good. And then?” I was getting nervous. The feel of the house. The demons huddled inside like Russian nesting dolls.
“She said she was sorry. She said she had needed time to think, and she realized she really missed me and Lydia.”
I snorted derisively. This time it was his turn to yank his hand away.
“Luna, whether you like her or not, she is Lydia’s mother. What was I supposed to do?”
I had a few suggestions, but this wasn’t the time for them. “And then what did you do?” Please don’t say you invited her inside, I thought. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a block of ice.
“Lydia was just waking up from her nap. She was calling from the crib. So I asked Sparkles if she wanted to come up and see her.”
That was it. That explained everything.
“So you invited her inside.”
“Yes.”
And her demon. And effectively broke the seal. And then everything blew apart.
Seth covered his face with his hand. “She saw Lydia. Sparkles seemed delighted, but Lydia started to scream. I picked her up, and then everything became confusing. Sparkles was telling Lydia she was back, that she was here now, and Lydia was going nuts. I started to tell Sparkles to leave, but suddenly I saw how it looked. Here I am, a single man with a dead end job. I don’t know how to raise a little girl. I’m looking up Youtube videos to learn how to do her hair. I’m living with my crazy sister who is nice enough, but definitely has her issues. What do I have to offer? What do you?”
The ice I had eaten had grown spines. I licked my lips, but it didn’t help to moisten them. “You thought that Lydia was better with her mother.”
Seth laughed, and t he sound made me wince. “I did. It seemed to make so much sense at the time. I handed Lydia to her. I handed over her pink star blanket. I kissed Lydia on the forehead and told her I loved her very much. And then I filled the bathtub.”
I didn’t need to hear the rest. I
He sighed. “It all feels like it was a very long time ago. Has it only been a day? It feels like it’s been an eternity.”
“I found you yesterday.”
He looked into my eyes, and I was embarrassed by the emotion I saw there. “Luna, I am so sorry. I’ve been thinking about it all night. What it must have been like to find me. Like when I found Dad. I thought of how Lydia would feel, knowing I did what I did. Feeling like she wasn’t good enough to live for.”
His eyes were tearing up again, and this time it wasn’t in hysterical laughter. I took his cold hand in mine.
“ Never do something like that again. That goes without saying. I want to tell you Lydia would have made it through, because we made it through, but you know how it would have been. Seth, you know. Why would you have even thought of suicide, even for a second? How could you do that to her?”
He shook his head. “That’s the thing. I have no idea.” I growled and pulled my hand away, but Seth grabbed it in both of his. “I’m serious, Luna. You know how I feel about Dad. How I was angry at him for giving up and leaving us all alone. Feeling guilty, feeling we should have done something, been more. But last night, I just felt…different. I felt like I was doing her a favor, almost. I know,” he said, when I started getting upset again. “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how it felt. Besides, after Sparkles came over—”
“ To our house?” Suddenly my antenna was up. Seriously, talking to Sparkles could make anybody want to die. But this was more sinister than that, and I knew it.
Seth took a deep breath. “Yes. Sparkles came over to the house yesterday. She said she wanted to discuss the arrangement with Lydia. And before you interrupt,” he said, just as I was about to interrupt, “I told her there had been no arrangement with Lydia. She had bailed out on all of us. I actually gave her a pretty good piece of my mind,” he said smugly. “You would have been proud of me.”
“Good. And then?” I was getting nervous. The feel of the house. The demons huddled inside like Russian nesting dolls.
“She said she was sorry. She said she had needed time to think, and she realized she really missed me and Lydia.”
I snorted derisively. This time it was his turn to yank his hand away.
“Luna, whether you like her or not, she is Lydia’s mother. What was I supposed to do?”
I had a few suggestions, but this wasn’t the time for them. “And then what did you do?” Please don’t say you invited her inside, I thought. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a block of ice.
“Lydia was just waking up from her nap. She was calling from the crib. So I asked Sparkles if she wanted to come up and see her.”
That was it. That explained everything.
“So you invited her inside.”
“Yes.”
And her demon. And effectively broke the seal. And then everything blew apart.
Seth covered his face with his hand. “She saw Lydia. Sparkles seemed delighted, but Lydia started to scream. I picked her up, and then everything became confusing. Sparkles was telling Lydia she was back, that she was here now, and Lydia was going nuts. I started to tell Sparkles to leave, but suddenly I saw how it looked. Here I am, a single man with a dead end job. I don’t know how to raise a little girl. I’m looking up Youtube videos to learn how to do her hair. I’m living with my crazy sister who is nice enough, but definitely has her issues. What do I have to offer? What do you?”
The ice I had eaten had grown spines. I licked my lips, but it didn’t help to moisten them. “You thought that Lydia was better with her mother.”
Seth laughed, and t he sound made me wince. “I did. It seemed to make so much sense at the time. I handed Lydia to her. I handed over her pink star blanket. I kissed Lydia on the forehead and told her I loved her very much. And then I filled the bathtub.”
I didn’t need to hear the rest. I
Similar Books
