slam it. Her head hurt and so did her heart. Damn him to hell, anyway. He wasn’t the only person to ever suffer a loss. Or to have painful circumstances surround it.
She had feelings too. Apparently, he’d decided he wanted to forget everything that had happened between them, like he’d tried to do in the beginning. He certainly was an emotional mess, so she could cut him some slack. But she’d taken a big step, a big risk, going out to his place and putting herself out there for him. He could—
He could what, Nida? Fall all over you? Pretend he’s not on a vendetta?
She thought about it while she stripped off her clothes and tugged on her sleep shirt. She thought some more while she washed her face and brushed her teeth and her hair.
Are you so self-involved that you expect him to forget the pain he’s feeling and tell you he’s sorry?
“I’m sorry.”
She was so startled she dropped her hairbrush in the sink. Had she really heard those words or just imagined them? But when she looked in the mirror, there he was standing behind her. He’d lost the shirt and, as irritated as she was with him, she was still fascinated by the hard planes of his chest covered with a scattering of dark gold curls.
Trembling slightly, she turned to face him. “Excuse me?”
That damn muscle twitched in his cheek again, the indication that he was stressed out.
“I said I’m sorry. And I am.”
“What for?” She was going to make him spell it out. No waffling or avoiding anything here.
He blew out a breath. “For acting like an idiot and an ass. You and the others are going out of your way for me. More than my own friends have, as a matter of fact. You especially deserve a lot better than hostility and silence.”
Nida clasped her hands together to still their trembling. “And why me especially, Mac? What are you telling me?”
He stepped forward until his body was nearly touching hers, crowding her against the sink.
“Because of what’s happening between us.” He tunneled his fingers in her hair so he could hold her head in place. “I thought I’d lost the ability to feel anything but pain and rage. I didn’t plan on making a connection with an incredible, sexy woman. Don’t get me wrong. The pain and rage are still there. But the moment I slid inside you the other day, I felt as if I’d come home. As if my entire life had been on hold until that very moment.”
His gaze held her riveted, the intensity in his eyes burning into hers. Nida grasped his wrists, wrapping her fingers around them to keep herself from falling, she was suddenly that weak.
“Nothing to say?” he asked. “I know damn well you felt it too.”
“I…” She wet her lips. “Yes. I felt it too. But past experience has told me not to trust it. Driving here after the meeting tonight, when you turned so cold and silent, I was sure I was right. And your attitude…” She blew out a breath. “I know the pain you’re in, Mac. I know how betrayed you feel by the police. But…” She held her hands out in a helpless gesture.
“But that’s no excuse for me to treat you the way I have. Or act that way.” His lips were barely an inch from hers now. “I’m sure everyone thinks I’m overreacting here—”
“No,” she broke in, the word sharp. “Not at all. You’ve had a tragic loss made worse by the money-fueled politics of the situation. I should be apologizing to you for asking too much of you.”
She would have taken another step back, but she was flush against the sink with no place to go.
“Stop.” She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. “I’m an independent ass, but standing in your guest room, reliving everything after talking it all out tonight, I realized something. I need you.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “I’ve never needed anyone before in my life, except for my twin. I never took relationships seriously, maybe because none of them were. But when you walked out of the room before like you
She had feelings too. Apparently, he’d decided he wanted to forget everything that had happened between them, like he’d tried to do in the beginning. He certainly was an emotional mess, so she could cut him some slack. But she’d taken a big step, a big risk, going out to his place and putting herself out there for him. He could—
He could what, Nida? Fall all over you? Pretend he’s not on a vendetta?
She thought about it while she stripped off her clothes and tugged on her sleep shirt. She thought some more while she washed her face and brushed her teeth and her hair.
Are you so self-involved that you expect him to forget the pain he’s feeling and tell you he’s sorry?
“I’m sorry.”
She was so startled she dropped her hairbrush in the sink. Had she really heard those words or just imagined them? But when she looked in the mirror, there he was standing behind her. He’d lost the shirt and, as irritated as she was with him, she was still fascinated by the hard planes of his chest covered with a scattering of dark gold curls.
Trembling slightly, she turned to face him. “Excuse me?”
That damn muscle twitched in his cheek again, the indication that he was stressed out.
“I said I’m sorry. And I am.”
“What for?” She was going to make him spell it out. No waffling or avoiding anything here.
He blew out a breath. “For acting like an idiot and an ass. You and the others are going out of your way for me. More than my own friends have, as a matter of fact. You especially deserve a lot better than hostility and silence.”
Nida clasped her hands together to still their trembling. “And why me especially, Mac? What are you telling me?”
He stepped forward until his body was nearly touching hers, crowding her against the sink.
“Because of what’s happening between us.” He tunneled his fingers in her hair so he could hold her head in place. “I thought I’d lost the ability to feel anything but pain and rage. I didn’t plan on making a connection with an incredible, sexy woman. Don’t get me wrong. The pain and rage are still there. But the moment I slid inside you the other day, I felt as if I’d come home. As if my entire life had been on hold until that very moment.”
His gaze held her riveted, the intensity in his eyes burning into hers. Nida grasped his wrists, wrapping her fingers around them to keep herself from falling, she was suddenly that weak.
“Nothing to say?” he asked. “I know damn well you felt it too.”
“I…” She wet her lips. “Yes. I felt it too. But past experience has told me not to trust it. Driving here after the meeting tonight, when you turned so cold and silent, I was sure I was right. And your attitude…” She blew out a breath. “I know the pain you’re in, Mac. I know how betrayed you feel by the police. But…” She held her hands out in a helpless gesture.
“But that’s no excuse for me to treat you the way I have. Or act that way.” His lips were barely an inch from hers now. “I’m sure everyone thinks I’m overreacting here—”
“No,” she broke in, the word sharp. “Not at all. You’ve had a tragic loss made worse by the money-fueled politics of the situation. I should be apologizing to you for asking too much of you.”
She would have taken another step back, but she was flush against the sink with no place to go.
“Stop.” She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. “I’m an independent ass, but standing in your guest room, reliving everything after talking it all out tonight, I realized something. I need you.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “I’ve never needed anyone before in my life, except for my twin. I never took relationships seriously, maybe because none of them were. But when you walked out of the room before like you
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