My Week with Marilyn by Colin Clark

be loved, anyway.’
    â€˜You’re right. He’s a bigger damn prima donna than she is. Now he’s behaving like he’d had some awful surprise. He must already have known what life with Marilyn would be like. When he first met her she was Elia Kazan’s mistress, and she was very mixed up. Then he saw her when she was filming Bus Stop with Josh Logan. She’d phone him for hours on end, and it can’t have been hard to see how nervous she got when she had to give a performance. I think he just liked the image of himself as the man who captured the most famous woman in the world. It made him as famous as her. He wants to control her, and that makes him try to turn her against me. And now he’s gone running off to Paris, and from there he’s going to New York, as if he was fed up with Marilyn after only four weeks. I’d much rather Marilyn ran off with you, believe me.’
    â€˜Me too. But that’s not going to happen, Milton, I can assure you, so you can relax.’
    â€˜Paula’s after Marilyn’s money too. Well, it’s not really Paula, it’s Lee. Paula is a very unstable lady – which is sort of a pity, since
Marilyn depends on her for her stability. Paula’s a frustrated actress. She has no self-confidence at all. She pours all her hopes and fears into Marilyn – like a typical Jewish mother, I suppose. That feeds into Marilyn’s insecurity, and Lee takes advantage of it. Lee wants to be a great impresario, and Marilyn is his passport to the fame he thinks he deserves. He’s charging a fortune for Paula to be here. More than anyone else. Much more than me. Why is everybody in the film business a frustrated something or other, who thinks they deserve to be paid thousands of dollars a week?’
    â€˜I don’t think Olivier is that frustrated,’ I said. ‘Except perhaps in bed. And I don’t think he’s that interested in money, either.’
    â€˜No, basically Olivier is one of the good guys. He’s just out of his depth. He doesn’t have any idea what’s going on in Marilyn’s head. He treats her like a silly little blonde, even though he can see in the dailies that she’s really very good – better than he is, I’d say. Olivier is an old-fashioned actor with a great reputation. Marilyn thought that if she acted with him she’d be taken seriously at last. That’s why she wanted to buy the rights to The Sleeping Prince – so she could tempt Olivier with a script she knew he liked. After all, he’d done it onstage, and with his wife. Imagine if little Marilyn could steal a part from the great Vivien Leigh, and maybe seduce Laurence Olivier as well. I must admit I thought she was crazy, but she brought it off – almost.’
    â€˜Poor Marilyn. She must be disappointed. She couldn’t seduce Olivier, so she ended up with me.’
    â€˜You’re making her happy right now, Colin. But, as I said, for how long? Nobody makes Marilyn happy for very long, and that’s the truth.’
    At one o’clock Tony came to tell me that lunch was ready, and Milton left. Tony was in a terrible sulk, so it was an uncomfortable meal. I felt sad that I had disobeyed his orders, especially as I was a guest in his home, but I had no regrets. Looking back on it, Saturday had been the happiest day of my life.

MONDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER
    Back in the studio on Monday morning, things were even more depressing than usual. Marilyn didn’t show up, and when I called the house as usual at nine a.m., Roger could tell me nothing. She was still in bed. He didn’t know why. I was sure she had taken too many pills. Milton and Paula were regaining control. They would rather have a beautiful corpse than a free spirit, I said to myself, gnashing my teeth; but there was absolutely nothing I could do. I had served my purpose and been dismissed.
    Milton turned up at the studio at eleven