My Fairy Godmonster by Denice Hughes Lewis Page A

be rude, Mr. Dudley, and I
appreciate the invitation. Would you mind if I stayed home?”
    “I wouldn’t want your father to think we’re
neglecting you.”
    “It’s okay. I have lots to do, besides
feeding the horses.”
    “If you’re sure.” Mr. Dudley looks right into
my eyes.
    “Yeah, just bring me a chocolate shake,
please.”
    He smiles. “Fair enough.”
    The limousine leaves and I rush upstairs. I
unlock the door not knowing what to expect. The attic is back to
normal. Until I look around the door. Fairy Godmonster sits in a
huge hot tub.
    “You took long enough. Shoplifting is
accepted behavior where I usually work,” she mumbles.
    “We’re not monsters.”
    “So you say,” she laughs. “Let’s get busy
while the house is empty.” She glides out of the hot tub in a
spectacular bikini, sexy even with a tail. She cracks her whip.
When the cloud evaporates, she wears a French maid’s outfit.
“Thought I’d look the part.”
    “You’re something else.” I laugh.
    “I know.”
    “Let’s eat first. I’m starving.”
    Fairy Godmonster puts her whip in the NTMT
chip and we go downstairs.
    “That chip sounds like a bird.”
    “So annoying. The nanoparticles rub each
other at high speed and the designer hasn’t figured out how to
eliminate the problem.”
    I fix spaghetti with meatballs and Fairy
Godmonster watches with interest.
    “Cooking takes a lot of time.”
    “Yeah, it’s worth it.”
    We sit at the table and she takes a small
taste. “This is fabulous. You must give me the recipe.”
    We have the best dinner I’ve had since
company arrived. When we finish, I point to the mousetraps. “I need
some mice, in case Weasel wants proof.”
    “You think she wants to see dead mice?” she
asks.
    “Guess not.”
    We both laugh.
    I spring the traps, wipe off the peanut
butter and put them away.
    “You ready to watch the fun?” asks Fairy
Godmonster.
    “I have stable chores.”
    “Go ahead. Since my whip is working, I’ll
clean the house.”
    “I’ve dusted downstairs,” I say. “You’ll have
to dust upstairs and vacuum everything. I’ll be back in to do the
kitchen and the bathrooms.”
    “Bet I get done before you do,” Fairy
Godmonster chuckles.
    I head for the barn and have the horses fed
and their stalls cleaned in record time. I need to remember to
thank John for mucking out half of them. Kong eats his dinner and
follows me into the house.
    When I enter the kitchen, I’m stunned. It’s
spotless. I check all the rooms downstairs. Everything is sparkling
clean. I hurry upstairs, Kong at my feet.
    Fairy Godmonster’s tail flips into the
bathroom.
    Kong gallops past me.
    “CRIPES!”
    I rush in.
    “A warning would help when your dog decides
to goose me,” grumbles Fairy Godmonster.
    “Can I watch your magic?”
    “Better put him in the attic.”
    “Kong, c’mon boy.” I put Kong inside and lock
the door.
    I hurry back to the bathroom. “Ready.”
    With a small flick, the whip produces three
white whirlwinds. The whirlwinds twist around the toilet, sink and
bathtub leaving some kind of sparkling silver dust. They swoosh
over the floor. It takes about twenty seconds. One more flick of
the whip and the
    silver dust disappears.
    “That’s fast. How come you didn’t finish
before me?”
    “Watched a dance competition on television.
Humans have interesting hobbies. You know how to waltz?” she
asks.
    “No.”
    “What if Scott asks you at the
reception?”
    I moan.
    Fairy Godmonster takes my hand. “Come on.
I’ll teach you. Easier than falling off a horse.”
    Like she knows.
    I follow her into the hall. She cracks her
whip.
    A strobe light materializes overhead and
flashes neon orange and pink. Loud music blares from a hard rock
band in the corner.
    “They won’t have this kind of music at the
wedding,” I yell over the beat that pounds through my body.
    Fairy Godmonster shouts, “If you can waltz to
this, you can dance to anything.”
    She pulls me into her