My Boring-Ass Life (Revised Edition): The Uncomfortably Candid Diary of Kevin Smith by Kevin Smith Page B
Authors: Kevin Smith
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shooting. I whip out the wardrobe I brought for approval, go over last minute script changes with the writer, meet the producers, get hair and makeup done, and head to the set.
I share the scene with Mewes, an actor named Desmond Harrington, and two girls. The production’s pressed for time, so the number of takes we do is limited. All goes well, and the night (and film) wraps around one in the morning.
I get home and play a little UB before crashing.
Wednesday 20 April 2005 @ 11:30 p.m.
We head to the Newsroom Café for some breakfast, and then swing out to Laser Blazer to pick up new DVDs. Jen heads into some chick clothing store nearby and finds an awesome eighties-era DC Superheroines shirt titled ‘Ladies Night’. As she buys three (one for her, one for Harley and one for Chay), I take a picture of the lineup with my phone so I can send it to Walter to discern who the one chick in the weird get-up is (turns out it’s the circa eighties Zatanna, minus the top hat and fishnets). After the shirt store, Jen and I get into an argument because of the way I pull out into traffic while trying to send the picture to Walter. After a long period of silence, we argue some more, at which point she insists I “drive like an asshole”. The fight gets worse, and we don’t talk the rest of the way home.
We’re home for about twenty minutes before we speak again, and it only makes things worse. I head off to the bathroom to shit and update my diary, during which the anger starts to subside, as I remember that a life with even a sometimes-contentious Schwalbach is better than a life without one. I emerge from the toilet a kinder, gentler me, and set about putting the fight behind us by apologizing (though I didn’t start the fight). We cuddle and opt to head out again, this time over to the Valley to finally get Jen’s eyes examined and get her a prescription for glasses.
We’re in Lenscrafters and the adjoining optometrist for two hours, during which Jen gets diagnosed and given a prescription. I have them swap out my scratched sunglasses lenses and have them re-do the lenses in my regular glasses while they’re at it. Jen gets her pupils dilated, so for the next few hours, she’s walking around with massive black dots for eyes.
We swing by Quizno’s and down some subs, then stop at Koo-Koo-Roo for some Harley grub. After that, we stop by the cleaners to pick up stuff we dropped off the other day, and head back home.
Harley chows down while I go online beside her on the bed. We play some Disney Yahtzee, and then Jen takes her for her bath while I take care of some IM business. Mewes rolls in to say he’s going to Commerce Casino to play some real poker (instead of UB, which we’re trying to get in touch with Annie about so she’ll dump some coin in our accounts). Jen reads to Harley and puts her to bed on the couch. I sit in my office while she tries to go to sleep, but she’s chatting away for awhile before she succumbs.
Around nine, I take Byron and Gail to the airport. They’re heading out to Florida on a red-eye to see some relatives. Mulder and Scully take the ride with us, and on the way home, I pick up some burgers for the three of us.
When I get home, Chay’s there, chit-chatting with Jen and having some wine. I talk with them for a bit while I feed myself and the dogs the burgers I picked up. I head downstairs, jump online, IM with Annie, replenish my UB account, and gamble ‘til Jen comes downstairs again. After that, I gamble some more, and go to sleep around 2 a.m.
Thursday 21 April 2005 @ 11:30 p.m.
I wake up around 9:30 a.m., and Jen’s already taken Harley to school. She’s upstairs checking email on her laptop when I find her. We sit around the living room and bicker for awhile, and then kiss and make-up.
We find Mewes in the kitchen, playing some UB. We chit-chat for a bit, then head downstairs and cuddle for a bit on the couch before I remember that my wardrobe fitting for Catch &
I share the scene with Mewes, an actor named Desmond Harrington, and two girls. The production’s pressed for time, so the number of takes we do is limited. All goes well, and the night (and film) wraps around one in the morning.
I get home and play a little UB before crashing.
Wednesday 20 April 2005 @ 11:30 p.m.
We head to the Newsroom Café for some breakfast, and then swing out to Laser Blazer to pick up new DVDs. Jen heads into some chick clothing store nearby and finds an awesome eighties-era DC Superheroines shirt titled ‘Ladies Night’. As she buys three (one for her, one for Harley and one for Chay), I take a picture of the lineup with my phone so I can send it to Walter to discern who the one chick in the weird get-up is (turns out it’s the circa eighties Zatanna, minus the top hat and fishnets). After the shirt store, Jen and I get into an argument because of the way I pull out into traffic while trying to send the picture to Walter. After a long period of silence, we argue some more, at which point she insists I “drive like an asshole”. The fight gets worse, and we don’t talk the rest of the way home.
We’re home for about twenty minutes before we speak again, and it only makes things worse. I head off to the bathroom to shit and update my diary, during which the anger starts to subside, as I remember that a life with even a sometimes-contentious Schwalbach is better than a life without one. I emerge from the toilet a kinder, gentler me, and set about putting the fight behind us by apologizing (though I didn’t start the fight). We cuddle and opt to head out again, this time over to the Valley to finally get Jen’s eyes examined and get her a prescription for glasses.
We’re in Lenscrafters and the adjoining optometrist for two hours, during which Jen gets diagnosed and given a prescription. I have them swap out my scratched sunglasses lenses and have them re-do the lenses in my regular glasses while they’re at it. Jen gets her pupils dilated, so for the next few hours, she’s walking around with massive black dots for eyes.
We swing by Quizno’s and down some subs, then stop at Koo-Koo-Roo for some Harley grub. After that, we stop by the cleaners to pick up stuff we dropped off the other day, and head back home.
Harley chows down while I go online beside her on the bed. We play some Disney Yahtzee, and then Jen takes her for her bath while I take care of some IM business. Mewes rolls in to say he’s going to Commerce Casino to play some real poker (instead of UB, which we’re trying to get in touch with Annie about so she’ll dump some coin in our accounts). Jen reads to Harley and puts her to bed on the couch. I sit in my office while she tries to go to sleep, but she’s chatting away for awhile before she succumbs.
Around nine, I take Byron and Gail to the airport. They’re heading out to Florida on a red-eye to see some relatives. Mulder and Scully take the ride with us, and on the way home, I pick up some burgers for the three of us.
When I get home, Chay’s there, chit-chatting with Jen and having some wine. I talk with them for a bit while I feed myself and the dogs the burgers I picked up. I head downstairs, jump online, IM with Annie, replenish my UB account, and gamble ‘til Jen comes downstairs again. After that, I gamble some more, and go to sleep around 2 a.m.
Thursday 21 April 2005 @ 11:30 p.m.
I wake up around 9:30 a.m., and Jen’s already taken Harley to school. She’s upstairs checking email on her laptop when I find her. We sit around the living room and bicker for awhile, and then kiss and make-up.
We find Mewes in the kitchen, playing some UB. We chit-chat for a bit, then head downstairs and cuddle for a bit on the couch before I remember that my wardrobe fitting for Catch &
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