country, controlled by a master brain, also duplicated for safety, which reported to The Great Firewall, who was bad-tempered and crabby. Morale in the surveillance corps was extremely low.
‘They’re all connected,’ said Li. ‘Sometimes they freeze, but it’s temporary.’ This was not true. Sometimes they went off in ambulances, and never came back, but Sexy Chen was nervous enough as it was.
‘Holy shit,’ said Sexy Chen, ‘I had no idea technology was fucking our brains to such a large extent. At least the Harmony Doctors in Beijing are medical doctors, with degrees and operating theatres and everything.’
Crazy Wu opened his eyes. ‘Did you bring any chocolate? I love 5 Star. It’s so chewy.’
Li pulled a bar out of his pocket. He held it out to Wu. ‘Tell me about the thugs,’ he said.
Wu snatched the chocolate from him and ripped off the wrapper. He shoved the entire thing into his mouth. His cheeks bulged as he chewed. For a brief moment he was happy. ‘They’re on Elgin Road,’ he said, slightly muffled, ‘which is named for the Big Barbarian.’ In the history of China, there was only one Big Barbarian.
‘I’m guessing there’s more of them than that upper-class jerk we met,’ said Li. ‘He’s a leader. He must be leading someone.’
Crazy Wu grinned. ‘Trust you to ask the right questions,’ he said. ‘They’re sneaky, those boys. They’re good at hiding, even from me. But not as good as they think. They’ve been very busy recently. They’re all over the city. Visiting local markets. Plenty of buying and selling going on. Quite a few cash transfers to the chief thug. The boys are doing well.’
‘They’ve been doing well with murders too,’ said Li. ‘Five of them so far. Notice anything about the victims? I got this list from the Governor’s office.’ He handed him a sheet of paper.
Wu held it gingerly. ‘Really, Li?’ he said. ‘Paper?’
‘I’m old fashioned,’ said Li.
Wu switched his spectacles on and scanned the sheet. He closed his eyes. ‘Odd,’ he said, his eyes still shut.
Li leaned forward. ‘Tell me,’ he said.
Wu held out his hand.
‘You know the rules,’ said Li. ‘One per question. Answer the question.’
‘It’s not the chocolate,’ said Crazy Wu, ‘I can get chocolate. It’s the love you show by bringing them for me personally. The other victims are too ordinary. Mid-level officers. I don’t see what the thugs would achieve by killing them. They’re not in short supply. We have enough mid-level officers to repopulate Tibet. Or Kashmir, once the radiation levels fall. Wait a minute! They’re freaks! All of them were poor. One month’s salary in the bank, no secret bank accounts. That’s amazing. It’s all Brother Gucci and Sister Prada these days. I had no idea we still had government officers like these. Honest men in the Party! Who could imagine such a thing?’
‘Well, they’re dead now,’ said Li, ‘so the Party is a little less honest than it used to be.’
‘Well, here’s the odd thing. One of them isn’t dead. Or he’s a very hungry corpse. He just ordered a pizza, with extra pepperoni. Not dead. At least, not yet. Your Chief Thug got it wrong.’
Li sat quietly, thinking.
‘This is why I like you,’ said Crazy Wu. ‘You’re just like a computer.’
‘What about telepaths, Wu,’ he said eventually. ‘Have you seen any of them around lately? The Governor is terrified.’
‘Really?’ said Crazy Wu. He was deeply interested. ‘He’s scared of telepaths?’
‘Only because he hasn’t met you yet,’ said Li.
‘I can find telepaths,’ said Crazy Wu, ignoring the jibe. ‘If you think we need to.’
‘Not just yet,’ said Li.
‘But the Governor is disturbed. He’s serving the nation. As a true Chinese patriot, it’s my duty to help him. I should do something about these telepaths.’
‘Whatever you do, don’t mess about with my case,’ said Li.
‘The school teacher?’ said Crazy
‘They’re all connected,’ said Li. ‘Sometimes they freeze, but it’s temporary.’ This was not true. Sometimes they went off in ambulances, and never came back, but Sexy Chen was nervous enough as it was.
‘Holy shit,’ said Sexy Chen, ‘I had no idea technology was fucking our brains to such a large extent. At least the Harmony Doctors in Beijing are medical doctors, with degrees and operating theatres and everything.’
Crazy Wu opened his eyes. ‘Did you bring any chocolate? I love 5 Star. It’s so chewy.’
Li pulled a bar out of his pocket. He held it out to Wu. ‘Tell me about the thugs,’ he said.
Wu snatched the chocolate from him and ripped off the wrapper. He shoved the entire thing into his mouth. His cheeks bulged as he chewed. For a brief moment he was happy. ‘They’re on Elgin Road,’ he said, slightly muffled, ‘which is named for the Big Barbarian.’ In the history of China, there was only one Big Barbarian.
‘I’m guessing there’s more of them than that upper-class jerk we met,’ said Li. ‘He’s a leader. He must be leading someone.’
Crazy Wu grinned. ‘Trust you to ask the right questions,’ he said. ‘They’re sneaky, those boys. They’re good at hiding, even from me. But not as good as they think. They’ve been very busy recently. They’re all over the city. Visiting local markets. Plenty of buying and selling going on. Quite a few cash transfers to the chief thug. The boys are doing well.’
‘They’ve been doing well with murders too,’ said Li. ‘Five of them so far. Notice anything about the victims? I got this list from the Governor’s office.’ He handed him a sheet of paper.
Wu held it gingerly. ‘Really, Li?’ he said. ‘Paper?’
‘I’m old fashioned,’ said Li.
Wu switched his spectacles on and scanned the sheet. He closed his eyes. ‘Odd,’ he said, his eyes still shut.
Li leaned forward. ‘Tell me,’ he said.
Wu held out his hand.
‘You know the rules,’ said Li. ‘One per question. Answer the question.’
‘It’s not the chocolate,’ said Crazy Wu, ‘I can get chocolate. It’s the love you show by bringing them for me personally. The other victims are too ordinary. Mid-level officers. I don’t see what the thugs would achieve by killing them. They’re not in short supply. We have enough mid-level officers to repopulate Tibet. Or Kashmir, once the radiation levels fall. Wait a minute! They’re freaks! All of them were poor. One month’s salary in the bank, no secret bank accounts. That’s amazing. It’s all Brother Gucci and Sister Prada these days. I had no idea we still had government officers like these. Honest men in the Party! Who could imagine such a thing?’
‘Well, they’re dead now,’ said Li, ‘so the Party is a little less honest than it used to be.’
‘Well, here’s the odd thing. One of them isn’t dead. Or he’s a very hungry corpse. He just ordered a pizza, with extra pepperoni. Not dead. At least, not yet. Your Chief Thug got it wrong.’
Li sat quietly, thinking.
‘This is why I like you,’ said Crazy Wu. ‘You’re just like a computer.’
‘What about telepaths, Wu,’ he said eventually. ‘Have you seen any of them around lately? The Governor is terrified.’
‘Really?’ said Crazy Wu. He was deeply interested. ‘He’s scared of telepaths?’
‘Only because he hasn’t met you yet,’ said Li.
‘I can find telepaths,’ said Crazy Wu, ignoring the jibe. ‘If you think we need to.’
‘Not just yet,’ said Li.
‘But the Governor is disturbed. He’s serving the nation. As a true Chinese patriot, it’s my duty to help him. I should do something about these telepaths.’
‘Whatever you do, don’t mess about with my case,’ said Li.
‘The school teacher?’ said Crazy
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