that’s why I’d
like you to come too,’ Dad says hopefully. ‘We both
would. We’d love you to live with us. In Sydney.’
I stare at him like he’s a complete stranger.
‘You’ve always wanted to go to
Australia—’
‘Not to
live
!’ I shriek.
‘And Sydney’s beautiful. You could go to the beach
all the time, learn to surf . . .’
‘But-but what about Mum?’ I splutter.
His smile fades. ‘Your mum’s a big
girl.’
I snort. If only he knew!
‘She says it’s up to you.’
‘
What?
’ I stare at him in shock. ‘Mum
knows
about this?’
‘Of course! I spoke to her about it on Sunday –
that’s why I arranged to have dinner with you tonight. So
we could talk about it.’
OMG. ‘You told her on
Sunday
?’
He nods.
Suddenly everything makes sense! Dad told Mum about wanting to
move to Australia, and
the very next day
she woke up with
amnesia?
That
must be the cause! She’s stressed
about Dad leaving . . . and the possibility of losing me too!
‘Look,’ Dad says gently, ‘just think about
it—’
‘I don’t have to!’ I yell, shoving my chair
back. ‘How could you do this to me? To us!’ I storm
off to the toilets, unable to stand the sight of him for a moment
longer.
‘Lucy, are you OK?’ Ingrid gasps as I race past
her.
‘Leave me alone!’ I snap, running into a cubicle.
I lock the door and collapse on to the lid of the toilet.
How
could he make me choose between them?
Not that there’s any choice really. Even though Mum
drives me up the wall, there’s no way I’m leaving her
– especially now she’s lost her memory! But I
can’t tell Dad about Shazza either now, I realize
miserably. He might decide I’m not safe living with her. He
might even use it as an excuse to
make
me go to Australia!
Then Shazza would be all alone, a twelve-year-old trapped in a
middle-aged body – forever!
#Nightmare!
42 SHAZZA
This is a nightmare.
I trace the grainy whorls of the tree stump
miserably, grieving for the dead apple tree, and for all the
hopes and dreams I had. What happened to my
life
?
I squeeze my eyes shut and hot tears spill down
my cheeks. I
wish
this was just a nightmare. That in the
morning I could wake up back in 1985 and redo everything.
I’d avoid Danny Andrews like the plague for a start. . .
but then, I guess, Lucy wouldn’t even exist.
Lucy.
I pull my mobile out of my pocket. Four missed
calls and five texts – all from her.
Lucy: RU OK?
xxxx
Huh? Who’s RU? Oh! I
get it.
Are you
. . .
Lucy: I’m
SOOOO sorry xxx
Lucy: Please call
me back xxxx
Lucy: I’m
so sorry I didn’t tell you – I didn’t want to
upset you. Am an idiot. xxxx
Lucy: Miss U.
Where RU? Tried calling U @ home. RU OK? Am worried & SOOO
sorry. xxxx
I sigh. I should call her back. After oil,
as angry as I am about her lying to me, I guess I understand why
she did it. And it’s not her fault my life’s like
this. She didn’t make my mistakes. I did.
I just don’t remember.
I feel like my entire life is one big surprise
party, where everyone else knows what’s going on and
I’m groping around in the dark for the light switch,
clueless and terrified of what’s going to jump out at me
next.
‘Shazza?’ a gruff voice says
suddenly.
I leap off the tree stump, startled, and spot a
tall figure leaning over the garden fence.
I wipe my eyes and back away nervously.
‘Who’s there?’
‘It’s me – Trev.’
‘
Trev?
’ I peer at him through
the darkness. No way. He’s so old! And BALD! His head
gleams like an egg in the moonlight, and as I step closer I
notice his beer belly hanging over his tracksuit trousers.
That’s
Trev
? My mullet-haired teenage heart-throb?
What
happened
?
‘I thought it was you,’ Trev says,
lighting a cigarette. ‘I feel like a teenager again, hiding
out here, but Mum doesn’t let me smoke inside. “The
curtains! Think of the curtains, Trevor!”’ he mimics,
and I find
like you to come too,’ Dad says hopefully. ‘We both
would. We’d love you to live with us. In Sydney.’
I stare at him like he’s a complete stranger.
‘You’ve always wanted to go to
Australia—’
‘Not to
live
!’ I shriek.
‘And Sydney’s beautiful. You could go to the beach
all the time, learn to surf . . .’
‘But-but what about Mum?’ I splutter.
His smile fades. ‘Your mum’s a big
girl.’
I snort. If only he knew!
‘She says it’s up to you.’
‘
What?
’ I stare at him in shock. ‘Mum
knows
about this?’
‘Of course! I spoke to her about it on Sunday –
that’s why I arranged to have dinner with you tonight. So
we could talk about it.’
OMG. ‘You told her on
Sunday
?’
He nods.
Suddenly everything makes sense! Dad told Mum about wanting to
move to Australia, and
the very next day
she woke up with
amnesia?
That
must be the cause! She’s stressed
about Dad leaving . . . and the possibility of losing me too!
‘Look,’ Dad says gently, ‘just think about
it—’
‘I don’t have to!’ I yell, shoving my chair
back. ‘How could you do this to me? To us!’ I storm
off to the toilets, unable to stand the sight of him for a moment
longer.
‘Lucy, are you OK?’ Ingrid gasps as I race past
her.
‘Leave me alone!’ I snap, running into a cubicle.
I lock the door and collapse on to the lid of the toilet.
How
could he make me choose between them?
Not that there’s any choice really. Even though Mum
drives me up the wall, there’s no way I’m leaving her
– especially now she’s lost her memory! But I
can’t tell Dad about Shazza either now, I realize
miserably. He might decide I’m not safe living with her. He
might even use it as an excuse to
make
me go to Australia!
Then Shazza would be all alone, a twelve-year-old trapped in a
middle-aged body – forever!
#Nightmare!
42 SHAZZA
This is a nightmare.
I trace the grainy whorls of the tree stump
miserably, grieving for the dead apple tree, and for all the
hopes and dreams I had. What happened to my
life
?
I squeeze my eyes shut and hot tears spill down
my cheeks. I
wish
this was just a nightmare. That in the
morning I could wake up back in 1985 and redo everything.
I’d avoid Danny Andrews like the plague for a start. . .
but then, I guess, Lucy wouldn’t even exist.
Lucy.
I pull my mobile out of my pocket. Four missed
calls and five texts – all from her.
Lucy: RU OK?
xxxx
Huh? Who’s RU? Oh! I
get it.
Are you
. . .
Lucy: I’m
SOOOO sorry xxx
Lucy: Please call
me back xxxx
Lucy: I’m
so sorry I didn’t tell you – I didn’t want to
upset you. Am an idiot. xxxx
Lucy: Miss U.
Where RU? Tried calling U @ home. RU OK? Am worried & SOOO
sorry. xxxx
I sigh. I should call her back. After oil,
as angry as I am about her lying to me, I guess I understand why
she did it. And it’s not her fault my life’s like
this. She didn’t make my mistakes. I did.
I just don’t remember.
I feel like my entire life is one big surprise
party, where everyone else knows what’s going on and
I’m groping around in the dark for the light switch,
clueless and terrified of what’s going to jump out at me
next.
‘Shazza?’ a gruff voice says
suddenly.
I leap off the tree stump, startled, and spot a
tall figure leaning over the garden fence.
I wipe my eyes and back away nervously.
‘Who’s there?’
‘It’s me – Trev.’
‘
Trev?
’ I peer at him through
the darkness. No way. He’s so old! And BALD! His head
gleams like an egg in the moonlight, and as I step closer I
notice his beer belly hanging over his tracksuit trousers.
That’s
Trev
? My mullet-haired teenage heart-throb?
What
happened
?
‘I thought it was you,’ Trev says,
lighting a cigarette. ‘I feel like a teenager again, hiding
out here, but Mum doesn’t let me smoke inside. “The
curtains! Think of the curtains, Trevor!”’ he mimics,
and I find
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