Much Ado About Nothing by Jenny Oldfield Page A

rushing to gate H5. ‘I didn’thear that,’ he mutters.
    â€˜Take no notice,’ Leonato says. ‘Beatrice loves to be outrageous, but she doesn’t mean anything by it.’
    Beatrice looks as if she’s about to answer back
again
, but now the plane doors are open and the team are stepping down onto the red carpet. Cameras flash, and at last poor Luigi can escape.
    Don Pedro, immaculately dressed in a dark-blue designer suit, is leading the boys into the full glare of the crowd.
Click-flash-click
! He makes a beeline for Leonato and clasps his arms, kissing him on both cheeks. ‘Good to see you, sir.’
    â€˜I’m overjoyed – wouldn’t have missed this homecoming for the world,’ Leonato tells him.
    There’s more camera action, more shoving and yelling.
    â€˜Claudio, look over here! Hold up the cup. Look this way!’
    Click-flash-click
! Claudio raises the silverwareabove his head, Benedick by his side.
    In the hustle and bustle, Don Pedro turns to Hero and does the huggy-kissy thing again. ‘You have one proud dad,’ he tells her. ‘You must be very happy for him.’
    â€˜Hero was
born
happy,’ Beatrice cuts in. ‘When have you ever seen her sad?’
    Suddenly, Benedick materialises out of nowhere, ready to suck up to the boss. ‘Who wouldn’t be happy to have Leonato for a dad?’
    And Beatrice is back, quick as a flash. ‘Who asked you?’ she wants to know.
    But Benedick doesn’t even look her way, let alone answer the question. ‘Still here?’ he sighs.
    â€˜Unluckily for you. You’ve never been my flavour of the month, remember?’
    â€˜Doesn’t bother me.’ The guy is A-list arrogant and doesn’t care who knows it. ‘The whole world is full of women ready to fall at my feet. One exception makes no difference to me. Anyway, I’m not interested in wannabe WAGs.’
    â€˜Thank god! That makes one less sex-mad, self-centred womaniser to worry about.’ Beatrice doesn’t pull her punches. ‘And, amazingly, it’s the one thing we agree on. Like you, I haven’t got time for the opposite sex. I’d donate all my Laboutins to charity, every single pair, rather than show a nano-grain of interest in a run-of-the-mill soccer hero!’
    This time, Benedick can’t help reacting. He’s angry and he shows it. ‘Good – keep thinking like that. And mind you keep your claws away from my face!’
    â€˜My claws couldn’t make you uglier than you already are.’
    â€˜Pot – kettle – black!’ Benedick retorts, as the press crowd in.
    â€˜Typical!’ snorts Beatrice. ‘And don’t worry – I’m not about to lower myself to your level.’
    Leonato sees it’s time for him to step in and do something quick. And he only goes and invites the whole team to spend a month at his swanky seaside villa. That’s
everyone
– players,coaches, physios, plus me and my camera crew. Even Pedro’s brother, John, is included, though rumour has it that John and Pedro were involved in some major brotherly spat during the early stages of Messina’s cup bid. I hope to find out more about that later.
    John growls a quick thank you. I mean, who would say no to sun, sea and as many WAGs as you could possibly want?
    Now there’s one last smile from the team for the world’s press, before the open-top bus whisks everyone away to Leonato’s luxury pad.

    I’m still a fly on the wall, squeezed in behind Claudio and Benedick, as the Man of the Match sneaks a chance to confide in his new best buddy.
    â€˜Did you clock Hero back there at the airport?’
    â€˜Sure.’ Benedick is busy waving to the fans that line the streets.
    â€˜Didn’t you think she was looking hot?’
    â€˜You do realise that you’re asking the opinionof the biggest commitment-phobe on the planet.’