strong. I really can’t explain it. It was like—the Lord was there, ya know. And I knew that Dad was happy and—so was my mother. Even though I’ve never known her.” She wiped the fresh tears off of her face and smiled. “And—I’m okay.” Inhaling deeply she looked at Beau’s perfect, sympathetic face. “I’m just so grateful for my dad and his example to me. He never quit telling us that things would be okay if we just put our faith in the Lord—and for a while I didn’t believe him. But—well, it was just amazing, the peace I’ve felt since that day he passed on. That’s what I want—to live up to the example he has set for us. I want to grow close to the Savior so I can say that I know it will be all right.”
He slowly gra bbed both of her hands.
They were silent, but she could feel his breath. And she wondered, again, if he would kiss her.
Chapter 18
But he didn’t lean in.
She did.
She reached up and pulled his head to her, kissing him softly, like a whisper. It would have been an understatement to say the earth moved. It was more like it opened up and swallowed them into a whole new place that made the compass change. Everything she thought was up was down and down was up.
“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you that day at the airport.” He sounded unguarded, like a child discovering something new.
She liked it.
Then he kissed her again. And she kissed him back. This time it was . . . passion. It was wonderful and painful and she never wanted it to stop.
Beau pulled back and inhaled quickly. “I can’t marry you.”
“What?” Sara pulled away so quickly she almost fell over.
He reached out to support her.
“I didn’t want this to happen.” He seemed to be looking for something in her face. “I have a past, Sara.”
Jonathon ’s face flooded her mind. She pulled her hands to her mouth, feeling instant shame. “He’s coming home in three days.” She couldn’t believe she’d completely forgotten about him.
Beau stood there, frozen , searching her face.
“I just—I just—. Why can’t you marry me?” Confusion burned through her mind.
Beau laughed. “This is incredible.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m completely wrong for you. One hundred percent wrong.”
“Why? Is there someone else?” She couldn’t believe she’d asked that.
Beau’ s smile fell from his face, and he stepped to her, gripping her arm tightly and pulling her close to him. His face hardened. “I don’t know, Sara. Is there someone else? Why don’t you tell me?”
She felt paralyzed. “What?”
He let her go and turned, running his hand over the stubble on his face. “Come on,” he said it sharply, like he was talking to a child. He reached for her hand.
“Don’t talk to me that way.” She took off for the fence, hiking over it quickly.
He was beside her. “I’m sorry.” They walked in silence until the house came into view.
They got to the edge of her yard and stood there for a few moments. It seemed neither of them knew what to say.
Finally Beau turned to face her. “Let me be a friend to you right now. Let’s forget about everything else, and I’ll just be here for you.” His voice was unguarded and sincere.
She looked at him, trying to analyze his motives. “Why?”
He pursed his lips together then let out a sigh. “Because I know what it feels like to face death alone.”
There it was. Beau had a way of getting straight to the heart of the matter.
Reaching out to her, he held his hand in the air.
She looked at it with uncertainty—knowing if she took it she would be giving more than she could. “Beau?”
He gently took her hand in his . And they walked into the house that way.
**
It was Saturday morning and Sara stumbled as she got out of her car. She was tired. Between the funeral last week and trying to get caught up on classes the past two days, even the bench next to the entrance of the Ivinson home looked
He slowly gra bbed both of her hands.
They were silent, but she could feel his breath. And she wondered, again, if he would kiss her.
Chapter 18
But he didn’t lean in.
She did.
She reached up and pulled his head to her, kissing him softly, like a whisper. It would have been an understatement to say the earth moved. It was more like it opened up and swallowed them into a whole new place that made the compass change. Everything she thought was up was down and down was up.
“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you that day at the airport.” He sounded unguarded, like a child discovering something new.
She liked it.
Then he kissed her again. And she kissed him back. This time it was . . . passion. It was wonderful and painful and she never wanted it to stop.
Beau pulled back and inhaled quickly. “I can’t marry you.”
“What?” Sara pulled away so quickly she almost fell over.
He reached out to support her.
“I didn’t want this to happen.” He seemed to be looking for something in her face. “I have a past, Sara.”
Jonathon ’s face flooded her mind. She pulled her hands to her mouth, feeling instant shame. “He’s coming home in three days.” She couldn’t believe she’d completely forgotten about him.
Beau stood there, frozen , searching her face.
“I just—I just—. Why can’t you marry me?” Confusion burned through her mind.
Beau laughed. “This is incredible.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m completely wrong for you. One hundred percent wrong.”
“Why? Is there someone else?” She couldn’t believe she’d asked that.
Beau’ s smile fell from his face, and he stepped to her, gripping her arm tightly and pulling her close to him. His face hardened. “I don’t know, Sara. Is there someone else? Why don’t you tell me?”
She felt paralyzed. “What?”
He let her go and turned, running his hand over the stubble on his face. “Come on,” he said it sharply, like he was talking to a child. He reached for her hand.
“Don’t talk to me that way.” She took off for the fence, hiking over it quickly.
He was beside her. “I’m sorry.” They walked in silence until the house came into view.
They got to the edge of her yard and stood there for a few moments. It seemed neither of them knew what to say.
Finally Beau turned to face her. “Let me be a friend to you right now. Let’s forget about everything else, and I’ll just be here for you.” His voice was unguarded and sincere.
She looked at him, trying to analyze his motives. “Why?”
He pursed his lips together then let out a sigh. “Because I know what it feels like to face death alone.”
There it was. Beau had a way of getting straight to the heart of the matter.
Reaching out to her, he held his hand in the air.
She looked at it with uncertainty—knowing if she took it she would be giving more than she could. “Beau?”
He gently took her hand in his . And they walked into the house that way.
**
It was Saturday morning and Sara stumbled as she got out of her car. She was tired. Between the funeral last week and trying to get caught up on classes the past two days, even the bench next to the entrance of the Ivinson home looked
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