one long round of pleasure. As clearly as he was able, he tried to tell them that in the few broken years that remained to him before a shark or jungle-fever put an end to his sorrows he would have little heart for polo, for poker, or for playing the concertina while watching the gambols of goldfish. They might just as well offer him, he said querulously, a cocked hat or a sewing machine.
Instant activity prevailed among the brothers.
'Fetch the gentleman his sewing-machine, Isadore.'
'And, while you're getting him the cocked hat, Lou,' said Irving, 'ask the customer in the shoe department if he'll be kind enough to step this way. You're in luck,' he assured Osbert. 'If you're going travelling in foreign parts, he's the very man to advise you. You've heard of Mr Braddock?'
There was very little of Osbert's face visible behind his whiskers, but that little paled beneath its tan.
'Mr B – b – b. . .?'
'That's right. Mr Braddock, the explorer.'
'Air!' said Osbert. 'Give me air!'
He made rapidly for the door, and was about to charge through when it opened to admit a tall, distinguished-looking man of military appearance.
'Shop!' cried the newcomer in a clear, patrician voice, and Osbert reeled back against a pile of trousers. It was Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames.
A platoon of Cohens advanced upon him, Isadore hastily snatching up a fireman's helmet and Irving a microscope and a couple of jig-saw puzzles. The General waved them aside.
'Do you,' he asked, 'keep horsewhips?'
'Yes, sir. Plenty of horsewhips.'
'I want a nice strong one with a medium-sized handle and lots of spring,' said Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames.
And at this moment Lou returned, followed by Bashford Braddock.
'Is this the gentleman?' said Bashford Braddock genially. 'You're going abroad, sir, I understand. Delighted if I can be of any service.'
'Bless my soul,' said Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames. 'Bashford? It's so confoundedly dark in here, I didn't recognize you.'
'Switch on the light, Irving,' said Isadore.
'No, don't,' said Osbert. 'My eyes are weak.'
'If your eyes are weak you ought not to be going to the Tropics,' said Bashford Braddock.
'This gentleman a friend of yours?' asked the General.
'Oh, no. I'm just going to help him to buy an outfit.'
'The gentleman's already got a smoking-cap, poker-chips, polo sticks, a fishing-rod, a concertina, a ukulele, a bowl of goldfish, a cocked hat and a sewing-machine,' said Isadore.
'Ah?' said Bashford Braddock. 'Then all he will require now is a sun helmet, a pair of puttees, and a pot of ointment for relieving alligator-bites.'
With the rapid decision of an explorer who is buying things for which somebody else is going to pay, he completed the selection of Osbert's outfit.
'And what brings you here, Bashford?' asked the General.
'Me? Oh, I looked in to buy a pair of spiked boots. I want to trample on a snake.'
'An odd coincidence. I came here to buy a horsewhip to horsewhip a snake.'
'A bad week-end for snakes,' said Bashford Braddock.
The General nodded gravely.
'Of course, my snake,' he said, 'may prove not to be a snake. In classifying him as a snake I may have misjudged him. In that case I shall not require this horsewhip. Still, they're always useful to have about the house.'
'Undoubtedly. Lunch with me, General?'
'Delighted, my dear fellow.'
'Goodbye, sir,' said Bashford Braddock, giving Osbert a friendly nod. 'Glad I was able to be of some use. When do you sail?'
'Gentleman's sailing to-morrow morning on the Rajputana ,' said Isadore.
'What!' cried Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames. 'Bless my soul! I didn't realize you were going to India . I was out there for years and can give you all sorts of useful hints. The old Rajputana ?Why, I know the purser well. I'll come and see you off and have a chat with him. No
Instant activity prevailed among the brothers.
'Fetch the gentleman his sewing-machine, Isadore.'
'And, while you're getting him the cocked hat, Lou,' said Irving, 'ask the customer in the shoe department if he'll be kind enough to step this way. You're in luck,' he assured Osbert. 'If you're going travelling in foreign parts, he's the very man to advise you. You've heard of Mr Braddock?'
There was very little of Osbert's face visible behind his whiskers, but that little paled beneath its tan.
'Mr B – b – b. . .?'
'That's right. Mr Braddock, the explorer.'
'Air!' said Osbert. 'Give me air!'
He made rapidly for the door, and was about to charge through when it opened to admit a tall, distinguished-looking man of military appearance.
'Shop!' cried the newcomer in a clear, patrician voice, and Osbert reeled back against a pile of trousers. It was Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames.
A platoon of Cohens advanced upon him, Isadore hastily snatching up a fireman's helmet and Irving a microscope and a couple of jig-saw puzzles. The General waved them aside.
'Do you,' he asked, 'keep horsewhips?'
'Yes, sir. Plenty of horsewhips.'
'I want a nice strong one with a medium-sized handle and lots of spring,' said Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames.
And at this moment Lou returned, followed by Bashford Braddock.
'Is this the gentleman?' said Bashford Braddock genially. 'You're going abroad, sir, I understand. Delighted if I can be of any service.'
'Bless my soul,' said Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames. 'Bashford? It's so confoundedly dark in here, I didn't recognize you.'
'Switch on the light, Irving,' said Isadore.
'No, don't,' said Osbert. 'My eyes are weak.'
'If your eyes are weak you ought not to be going to the Tropics,' said Bashford Braddock.
'This gentleman a friend of yours?' asked the General.
'Oh, no. I'm just going to help him to buy an outfit.'
'The gentleman's already got a smoking-cap, poker-chips, polo sticks, a fishing-rod, a concertina, a ukulele, a bowl of goldfish, a cocked hat and a sewing-machine,' said Isadore.
'Ah?' said Bashford Braddock. 'Then all he will require now is a sun helmet, a pair of puttees, and a pot of ointment for relieving alligator-bites.'
With the rapid decision of an explorer who is buying things for which somebody else is going to pay, he completed the selection of Osbert's outfit.
'And what brings you here, Bashford?' asked the General.
'Me? Oh, I looked in to buy a pair of spiked boots. I want to trample on a snake.'
'An odd coincidence. I came here to buy a horsewhip to horsewhip a snake.'
'A bad week-end for snakes,' said Bashford Braddock.
The General nodded gravely.
'Of course, my snake,' he said, 'may prove not to be a snake. In classifying him as a snake I may have misjudged him. In that case I shall not require this horsewhip. Still, they're always useful to have about the house.'
'Undoubtedly. Lunch with me, General?'
'Delighted, my dear fellow.'
'Goodbye, sir,' said Bashford Braddock, giving Osbert a friendly nod. 'Glad I was able to be of some use. When do you sail?'
'Gentleman's sailing to-morrow morning on the Rajputana ,' said Isadore.
'What!' cried Major-General Sir Masterman Petherick-Soames. 'Bless my soul! I didn't realize you were going to India . I was out there for years and can give you all sorts of useful hints. The old Rajputana ?Why, I know the purser well. I'll come and see you off and have a chat with him. No
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