road. He didn’t immediately deny it and she knew she’d guessed correctly. When he eventually spoke, his voice was hesitant, as if he had something to say, but was reluctant to let the words past his lips. “I’m worried about Kit.”
“Oh?” So she was right. He had disapproved of the kiss. “Why so, exactly?”
He glanced at her again. “I think you know why.”
Her lips parted as she went to protest, but the words she’d been about to say faded away at his direct gaze. She closed her mouth and looked out of the window again. “I see.”
“Enya...” He sighed. “You’re a lovely girl, and ordinarily I’d have absolutely no qualms if Kit became interested in a relationship with you.”
“But you want me to keep away from him,” she said flatly. “Because I’m damaged goods.”
He looked at her sharply before exclaiming, “Enya.” A guilty look flashed over his face, although she wasn’t sure why.
“What? Kit didn’t like me saying it either, but it’s true, isn’t it?”
He frowned, pulling up at a set of traffic lights, turning to face her. “Sweetheart, you’re a beautiful, spirited, courageous, wonderful young woman, and Kit could do a lot worse than fall for someone like you.” He gave a her a fond, wry smile. “In fact, I’ve been waiting for it to happen. It was only a matter of time.”
She stared at him, surprised. “What do you mean?”
“Cate and I thought something would happen between the two of you eventually. He’s crazy about you, and I think you’re pretty fond of him, too.”
Enya couldn’t form a thought–she could only blink at him stupidly.
John looked up at the lights, saw them change, and pulled away. “Kit’s loved you since the moment he met you. He’s hidden it behind familial affection, but it’s always been more than that.”
Her heart pounded. John didn’t know what he was talking about. Kit didn’t love her–at least not in the way a man loves a woman. He loved her like a sister, but that was all it was.
Wasn’t it?
John headed the car under the Auckland-Hamilton motorway and along Victoria Street West. He pulled up at another set of lights and turned to her again. “But the problem is that Kit wants a family.”
Enya’s shoulders sagged like a balloon that had been half-blown up and then popped suddenly with a pin.
“Being adopted, he wants kids of his own, love, and I want him to have that blood tie, that security.”
Her eyes met his. “You know, don’t you?” she whispered. “You know I can’t have children.”
He nodded again. “I’m so sorry, love. I know this sounds cruel, and I so want you to meet someone and be happy, but I have to be honest and say that I want Kit to have everything we couldn’t give him. I want him to watch his wife get pregnant, and to be at her side when she gives birth. You’ve got to understand, love, I’ve been there–I’ve had to go through it all, watching Cate get so upset because she couldn’t have children. And I don’t want Kit to have to go through it too.”
Tears pricked her eyes, but she bit her lip hard and blinked them back. She wasn’t going to let John Fawkes see her cry. “I understand.”
He studied her. His eyes were compassionate, but hard, and she suddenly saw him in his role as lawyer, determined and uncompromising, willing to do anything to get what he wanted. It was the first time she’d ever thought about the fact that he wasn’t Kit’s real father, but at that moment, she couldn’t see a bit of him in his adopted son. Kit would never be this cruel, this pitiless. “I hope you understand,” he said, his eyes as cold as the slate-grey winter’s sky.
Ordinarily, if someone else had given her such an instruction, she would have told them in no uncertain terms where to put it. Half of her burned with indignation at his casual disregard of her feelings. His words were incredibly cruel, clawing across her sensitive heart like barbed wire.
The only thing
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