Mr. Badger and the Difficult Duchess by Leigh Hobbs Page A

straight away to personally welcome the Duchess de la Dodo. But neither of them was prepared for what was awaiting them at the reception desk.
    It was a tall woman. In fact, not just a tall woman but an extremely tall woman. Her hair was piled up high on her head, which made her look even taller. She was wearing large sunglasses and looked very mysterious.
    â€˜Welcome, your grace,’ said Mr Badger politely, only just managing to conceal his surprise. To see her face, Mr Badger had to bend his head right back.

    The Duchess turned and with a majestic sweep of her arm snarled a haughty, ‘How do you do?’
    She had no luggage, just a large handbag.

    â€˜We have made the Royal Suite available for your grace,’ said Mr Badger. ‘If there is anything at all extra that you need during your stay, please let us know. How long shall we have the pleasure of your company?’
    â€˜Oh, a month or maybe two,’ replied the voice from above.

    Rather troubling news , thought Mr Badger, polishing his glasses.
    â€˜That will be all, my good man,’ said the Duchess. Then she reached down and, with a tap , tap , tap , she patted Mr Badger on the head.

CHAPTER 4
    A Guest in
Distress
    M r Badger was a little concerned. ‘Where will the Queen sleep if she drops in one evening and wants to stay overnight?’ he said to Miss Pims on the way back to their office, his furry brow furrowing.
    But for now Mr Badger put all thoughts of the Duchess aside as he started on his list of things to do. First he had to order the flowers for that evening’s extra-special event.
    Just then the telephone rang. Once again, it was Robert from reception.
    â€˜I’m terribly sorry, sir, but her grace is in trouble.’

    â€˜Oh dear, we are on our way,’ said Mr Badger. ‘I’m afraid our morning tasks will have to wait, Miss Pims.’
    On nearing reception, Mr Badger and Miss Pims were presented with a most peculiar sight. For there in the lift on the left were a pair of legs and a body that extended up, then disappeared out of sight. Worryingly, on the other side of the lift, looking out from the top, was an upside-down head.

    It was her grace, the Duchess de la Dodo. She was stuck firmly in the lift.
    â€˜Good heavens,’ said Miss Pims, stifling a gasp.
    Others may have panicked, but not Mr Badger. Her grace, the Duchess de la Dodo, was a guest in distress, and this was a situation that demanded a cool head. Mr Badger summoned the fire brigade, who arrived minus bells and sirens. Then he instructed the Boubles Grand Hotel Orchestra to strike up some jolly music during morning tea so as to divert attention away from reception.

    â€˜Is this the fire brigade?’
    While the other guests were happily distracted, dancing in the dining room, the Duchess was carefully unfolded by the fire fighters and removed from the lift.

    Then she was carted upstairs in a large sedan chair that Sir Cecil had found abandoned in France and Mr Badger kept at the ready for emergencies.

CHAPTER 5
    The Demanding
Duchess
    N o sooner had her grace been safely delivered to the Royal Suite than Mr Badger, deep in discussion with the florist, was notified that there was another call from reception.

    â€˜Her grace has complained that the bed is too short,’ said Robert.
    Mr Badger, never one to get flustered, made his way up, up, up to the top floor and tapped on the door.
    â€˜ Entrez ,’ said a frosty voice. Fortunately Mr Badger knew a little French, and so he entered the room.
    The Duchess was resting, her extralong legs hanging over and off the end of the bed.

    â€˜Well, your grace, this just won’t do,’ said Mr Badger with considerable aplomb.
    â€˜My thoughts exactly,’ responded the long figure grumpily, as she slurped on a milkshake.

    Mr Badger picked up the telephone and made a quick call.
    Within minutes, a cluster of Boubles Grand Hotel handymen were at the door of the