table next to mine, neither close enough to touch nor far enough to discourage me should I want to take it. "There are some very real and horrifying facts of my life which make me a monster, Mairin. I should never have allowed myself to become a part of your life, but I could not resist you once I saw you. Would you care to hear my reasons for staying, for putting you in danger every moment you are with me, or should I see you to your car?"
I thought about his offer. I had so many questions but I was afraid to ask them. "Tell me," I said finally. I tentatively lay my hand over his. Mathias covered my hand with his, sighing heavily.
"I told you I was selfish. That I had never been denied anything I truly wanted. That is the sad truth of my life. I was seventeen in 1922. My family was wealthy in a way that doesn't really translate now. We had everything we could ever want or need, but we worked hard for it all. I was a man poised to get everything I'd ever wanted. My father was turning our shipping company over to me and I was engaged to the most beautiful girl in the county. Her name was Kathryn." I started in surprise. Did this revelation confirm that my dreams were his memories? I shuddered at the thought.
Mathias waited silently, pausing in his tale and reaching to touch my face. "She had lovely red-brown hair and green eyes and she loved me. I loved her, too. Loved her enough to die for her."
"The fiend that changed my world found us walking near the docks. Kathryn often met me at the ship my father was currently unloading so we could walk in the evenings before she had to return to her parents' home. We were to be married only days from my last night as a human."
"I heard the monster coming and shoved Kathryn out of the way as it charged us. Kathryn was able to run as I held it and let it sink its foul teeth into my arm."
I shuddered. I could hear the Mathias from my dream scream, "Kathryn, run. Don't look back, just go!"
Mathias smiled softly, stroking my cheek again. "It drank until I could no longer see anything but a dark tunnel. I saw my own death in that last moment and I welcomed it. I knew Kathryn had escaped. That was all that mattered. And then I heard the watch running down the alley. Kathryn had sent them back for me. Would that she had not, I could have died in that fiend's embrace rather than become what it was. Instead of finishing me, it dropped me and ran, leaving my diseased body behind."
My heart was thundering in my chest as I listened to Mathias speak. I could almost hear the watch running on cobble stones and hear Kathryn screaming for him. Screaming for him as I would have screamed had I witnessed the horror he described.
"Kathryn sat with me for the several days during which I lingered at death's door. She refused to believe that the doctors my father sent for could not save me. Perhaps if she had let them lead her away...if she hadn't been there...but she was."
I could see the lovely woman from my dream silently praying for Mathias, mopping his brow, and waiting for him to be well. My mind refused to move past that moment in my dream, to move on to what I knew was the outcome before Mathias spoke the words.
"The moment my eyes opened after my heart finally gave up its battle, I could think of nothing but the scorching thirst that burned my throat. I didn't recognize my Kathryn until she lay still in my arms. Pale, still, and very dead. I ran. Coward that I am, I ran rather than face the rightful punishment for my evil. I hid like the base, cowardly monster that I was until the thirst drove me out."
A sob slipped between my lips. Mathias looked at me, wonder in his eyes. He didn't know that what made me cry out was his own anguished face, the chaste kiss he'd left on Kathryn's lips, the promise he'd made to mourn her for eternity. Such love, so much more than I believed I was capable of, couldn't exist in an evil creature. It couldn't be allowed.
He shook himself, coming back from his
I thought about his offer. I had so many questions but I was afraid to ask them. "Tell me," I said finally. I tentatively lay my hand over his. Mathias covered my hand with his, sighing heavily.
"I told you I was selfish. That I had never been denied anything I truly wanted. That is the sad truth of my life. I was seventeen in 1922. My family was wealthy in a way that doesn't really translate now. We had everything we could ever want or need, but we worked hard for it all. I was a man poised to get everything I'd ever wanted. My father was turning our shipping company over to me and I was engaged to the most beautiful girl in the county. Her name was Kathryn." I started in surprise. Did this revelation confirm that my dreams were his memories? I shuddered at the thought.
Mathias waited silently, pausing in his tale and reaching to touch my face. "She had lovely red-brown hair and green eyes and she loved me. I loved her, too. Loved her enough to die for her."
"The fiend that changed my world found us walking near the docks. Kathryn often met me at the ship my father was currently unloading so we could walk in the evenings before she had to return to her parents' home. We were to be married only days from my last night as a human."
"I heard the monster coming and shoved Kathryn out of the way as it charged us. Kathryn was able to run as I held it and let it sink its foul teeth into my arm."
I shuddered. I could hear the Mathias from my dream scream, "Kathryn, run. Don't look back, just go!"
Mathias smiled softly, stroking my cheek again. "It drank until I could no longer see anything but a dark tunnel. I saw my own death in that last moment and I welcomed it. I knew Kathryn had escaped. That was all that mattered. And then I heard the watch running down the alley. Kathryn had sent them back for me. Would that she had not, I could have died in that fiend's embrace rather than become what it was. Instead of finishing me, it dropped me and ran, leaving my diseased body behind."
My heart was thundering in my chest as I listened to Mathias speak. I could almost hear the watch running on cobble stones and hear Kathryn screaming for him. Screaming for him as I would have screamed had I witnessed the horror he described.
"Kathryn sat with me for the several days during which I lingered at death's door. She refused to believe that the doctors my father sent for could not save me. Perhaps if she had let them lead her away...if she hadn't been there...but she was."
I could see the lovely woman from my dream silently praying for Mathias, mopping his brow, and waiting for him to be well. My mind refused to move past that moment in my dream, to move on to what I knew was the outcome before Mathias spoke the words.
"The moment my eyes opened after my heart finally gave up its battle, I could think of nothing but the scorching thirst that burned my throat. I didn't recognize my Kathryn until she lay still in my arms. Pale, still, and very dead. I ran. Coward that I am, I ran rather than face the rightful punishment for my evil. I hid like the base, cowardly monster that I was until the thirst drove me out."
A sob slipped between my lips. Mathias looked at me, wonder in his eyes. He didn't know that what made me cry out was his own anguished face, the chaste kiss he'd left on Kathryn's lips, the promise he'd made to mourn her for eternity. Such love, so much more than I believed I was capable of, couldn't exist in an evil creature. It couldn't be allowed.
He shook himself, coming back from his
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