Wait till it’s light,” Mrs. Vanoy said as she walked toward her daughters.
“She can’t see, Mom.”
Their mother took Cassie’s face between her hands. “Oh, baby … I’ll get Nathan. Dani, put on the lights.”
“No … wait,” Cassie pleaded. “Let’s the three of us go outside together.”
Dani knew that Cassie’s blindness meant that the tumor would shut down Cassie’s vital organs and her capacity to function. She felt sick to her stomach.
Dani heard her sister’s voice. “Mom, please—can’t just the three of us go down to the water? I want to feel the sun come up. Then, if I have to go to the hospital, we’ll go …”
Her sentence trailed in the darkness, and all Dani could hear was the sound of her own breathing. “If that’s what you want,” her mother finally answered.
Dani slid open the door and felt the fresh, salty air. She heard the waves breaking on the shore in the distance. “My legs aren’t working very well,” Cassie said, sounding apologetic. “They’re sort of numb.”
“Mom and I can make a seat with our hands,” Dani suggested quickly, and grasped her mother’s wrists. Slowly, her mother grasped hers in return, so their hands formed a grid. Cassie eased onto it and wrapped her arms around their shoulders. They carried her to the water, lowered her onto the sand and sat down on either side of her, each holding one of her hands.
Dani felt the warm water wash over her feet and legs and soak the bottom of her nightshirt. She held her sister’s hand tightly, afraid to let go.afraid that Cassie might wash out to sea, even though she knew that was impossible.
“I love the sea,” Cassie said. “It sounds so wonderful.”
“There is something comforting about it,” Dani heard her mother say. She was surprised that her mom sounded so calm. “I’m glad you got to visit it. You wanted to so much.”
“Then you aren’t mad at us? At Dani for bringing me?”
“I was furious. Mostly scared that something would happen to you and I wouldn’t be with you. But I’m all right now.”
“Were you afraid I’d die?” Cassie asked. Dani heard her mother suck in her breath. “You should have leveled with me after the seizure,” her sister went on. “I was so scared, I think what I imagined was worse than the truth.”
“The truth?” Dani asked.
“That I was dying. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
“I wanted you to have every chance, every hope possible,” their mother explained.
“I want to know what’s going to happen to me, I need to talk about everything,” Cassie continued.
“You have some choices about whether or not to go on life-support machines,” Dani said before her mother could stop her.
“No machines,” Cassie said. “Let me die when my body says it’s had enough.”
“If you don’t want the machines, you won’t be put on them,” her mother said in a voice that seemed controlled. “But the doctors can give you pain medication.”
“That’s good,” Cassie agreed. “I don’t want to hurt.”
“We’ll be by your side the whole time. We’ll always be with you.”
Cassie squeezed their hands. “I never thought you wouldn’t be.”
Dani struggled against cold, stark terror of what was to come as pink filled the horizon and the water lapped at her legs. Sandpipers, scurrying back and forth along the shoreline, seemed in such a hurry, but appeared to have no place to go.
“Is there anything you want us to do for you?” her mother asked.
“I wrote down what I want you to do for my funeral. It’s in my old school notebook, in the van.”
Dani had tossed the notebook in with Cassie’s suitcase when she’d packed. At the time, she’d thought it would keep alive the illusion that Cassie could return to school after the trip.
“I’ll do whatever you want.”
“I picked some songs I’d like sung, and a poem I want read. I want to go back home, to the same cemetery where Daddy’s buried. Can I
“She can’t see, Mom.”
Their mother took Cassie’s face between her hands. “Oh, baby … I’ll get Nathan. Dani, put on the lights.”
“No … wait,” Cassie pleaded. “Let’s the three of us go outside together.”
Dani knew that Cassie’s blindness meant that the tumor would shut down Cassie’s vital organs and her capacity to function. She felt sick to her stomach.
Dani heard her sister’s voice. “Mom, please—can’t just the three of us go down to the water? I want to feel the sun come up. Then, if I have to go to the hospital, we’ll go …”
Her sentence trailed in the darkness, and all Dani could hear was the sound of her own breathing. “If that’s what you want,” her mother finally answered.
Dani slid open the door and felt the fresh, salty air. She heard the waves breaking on the shore in the distance. “My legs aren’t working very well,” Cassie said, sounding apologetic. “They’re sort of numb.”
“Mom and I can make a seat with our hands,” Dani suggested quickly, and grasped her mother’s wrists. Slowly, her mother grasped hers in return, so their hands formed a grid. Cassie eased onto it and wrapped her arms around their shoulders. They carried her to the water, lowered her onto the sand and sat down on either side of her, each holding one of her hands.
Dani felt the warm water wash over her feet and legs and soak the bottom of her nightshirt. She held her sister’s hand tightly, afraid to let go.afraid that Cassie might wash out to sea, even though she knew that was impossible.
“I love the sea,” Cassie said. “It sounds so wonderful.”
“There is something comforting about it,” Dani heard her mother say. She was surprised that her mom sounded so calm. “I’m glad you got to visit it. You wanted to so much.”
“Then you aren’t mad at us? At Dani for bringing me?”
“I was furious. Mostly scared that something would happen to you and I wouldn’t be with you. But I’m all right now.”
“Were you afraid I’d die?” Cassie asked. Dani heard her mother suck in her breath. “You should have leveled with me after the seizure,” her sister went on. “I was so scared, I think what I imagined was worse than the truth.”
“The truth?” Dani asked.
“That I was dying. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
“I wanted you to have every chance, every hope possible,” their mother explained.
“I want to know what’s going to happen to me, I need to talk about everything,” Cassie continued.
“You have some choices about whether or not to go on life-support machines,” Dani said before her mother could stop her.
“No machines,” Cassie said. “Let me die when my body says it’s had enough.”
“If you don’t want the machines, you won’t be put on them,” her mother said in a voice that seemed controlled. “But the doctors can give you pain medication.”
“That’s good,” Cassie agreed. “I don’t want to hurt.”
“We’ll be by your side the whole time. We’ll always be with you.”
Cassie squeezed their hands. “I never thought you wouldn’t be.”
Dani struggled against cold, stark terror of what was to come as pink filled the horizon and the water lapped at her legs. Sandpipers, scurrying back and forth along the shoreline, seemed in such a hurry, but appeared to have no place to go.
“Is there anything you want us to do for you?” her mother asked.
“I wrote down what I want you to do for my funeral. It’s in my old school notebook, in the van.”
Dani had tossed the notebook in with Cassie’s suitcase when she’d packed. At the time, she’d thought it would keep alive the illusion that Cassie could return to school after the trip.
“I’ll do whatever you want.”
“I picked some songs I’d like sung, and a poem I want read. I want to go back home, to the same cemetery where Daddy’s buried. Can I
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