“Don't pretend you don't know what this is all about. YOU know!”
Scene: Anywhere. Mother's face is a mask that reveals nothing and reacts to nothing that is said. This is important, lest the child know what you are talking about. Keep clues broad. Interest is sustained by slamming doors, dropping plates on the table, and kicking the dog.
Mother: "Well, I hope you're satisfied. You've done it again. Don't pretend you don't know what this is all about. You know. How long before you were going to tell me about it?
"Did it ever occur to you to check with me first? That's it, play dumb. You're dumb like a fox. You knew what this would do to your ____ (person, place, or thing). You've done it before.
"I'd like to say it doesn't matter, but it does. Well, no use crying over spilled milk.
"And don't play Miss (Mr.) Innocence with me. You know very well what I'm talking about. It's not the first time you've disappointed me and I'm sure it won't be the last. If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. If you don't, tough biscuits.
"I'd like to think you'd promise not to do it again, but I know you won't, so forget it. You want a hint as to what I'm talking about? That's a joke. Do you mean to stand there and tell me you haven't the foggiest notion of why I'm angry? That's rich. Really rich.
"Okay, I'll play your little game. Tuesday! Is that enough of a hint? You know you should be an actress (actor). I am looking at an Academy Award performance here. You can make your eyes as big as a spare tire, but you won't convince me you don't know what I'm talking about.
"I'm going to say this once and only once. If you ever do it again, you're going to have to answer to a lot more people than me.
"You have anything to say? Any apologies to make? Any promises?
“You know something? I'll never understand you.”
*Speech for Advanced Mothers with years of experience.
Unknown
27
What kind of a mother would...
rather be rich and thin than pregnant?
Sarah
There are three things in this world that people refuse to accept: an incurable bad back, directions without a map, and a woman who does not want a child.
Sarah did not want a child. She was thirty-two, happy with her marriage, happy with her job, and happy with her life. What she was unhappy about was the people around her who seemed to feel her choice not to have children was their business.
People like her mother, her sister Gracie (mother of five), her best friend Dodie, and her gynecologist, who reminded her, “You're not getting any younger." (Who is?)
One day, in a moment of intimacy when she and her mother were alone, Sarah attempted one last time to explain to her mother why she preferred to remain childless.
“Try to understand, Mom,” she said. "I'm not against children. I'm just against them for me. For Gracie, it's fine. She's a born mother. I just don't want to go through life with little gates all over the house and a bathtub full of ducks and boats. People who have children change, and it's scary. They lose a part of themselves that I don't want to lose. It's like someone flipping a switch. All of a sudden you're not a person anymore. You're attached to another human being. Separate them and they both die.
"I don't want to be an extension of someone else's fever, someone else's hunger, pain, disappointment, and frustration. I had a wonderful childhood, but when I was a child I never began to appreciate all your work and sacrifice. What did you get out of it? A lot of slammed doors and a wooden pig that held recipes for your birthday.
"If I had children, Mom, I'd be having them for all the wrong reasons—because you wanted to be a grandmother or Steve wanted someone to carry on his name or I couldn't stand the pressure of people wanting to know why I don't have children.
“I don't think I'm selfish. I'm certainly not bitter or angry. I just feel I have a choice and I have every right to make it. Do you understand?”
Her mother
Scene: Anywhere. Mother's face is a mask that reveals nothing and reacts to nothing that is said. This is important, lest the child know what you are talking about. Keep clues broad. Interest is sustained by slamming doors, dropping plates on the table, and kicking the dog.
Mother: "Well, I hope you're satisfied. You've done it again. Don't pretend you don't know what this is all about. You know. How long before you were going to tell me about it?
"Did it ever occur to you to check with me first? That's it, play dumb. You're dumb like a fox. You knew what this would do to your ____ (person, place, or thing). You've done it before.
"I'd like to say it doesn't matter, but it does. Well, no use crying over spilled milk.
"And don't play Miss (Mr.) Innocence with me. You know very well what I'm talking about. It's not the first time you've disappointed me and I'm sure it won't be the last. If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. If you don't, tough biscuits.
"I'd like to think you'd promise not to do it again, but I know you won't, so forget it. You want a hint as to what I'm talking about? That's a joke. Do you mean to stand there and tell me you haven't the foggiest notion of why I'm angry? That's rich. Really rich.
"Okay, I'll play your little game. Tuesday! Is that enough of a hint? You know you should be an actress (actor). I am looking at an Academy Award performance here. You can make your eyes as big as a spare tire, but you won't convince me you don't know what I'm talking about.
"I'm going to say this once and only once. If you ever do it again, you're going to have to answer to a lot more people than me.
"You have anything to say? Any apologies to make? Any promises?
“You know something? I'll never understand you.”
*Speech for Advanced Mothers with years of experience.
Unknown
27
What kind of a mother would...
rather be rich and thin than pregnant?
Sarah
There are three things in this world that people refuse to accept: an incurable bad back, directions without a map, and a woman who does not want a child.
Sarah did not want a child. She was thirty-two, happy with her marriage, happy with her job, and happy with her life. What she was unhappy about was the people around her who seemed to feel her choice not to have children was their business.
People like her mother, her sister Gracie (mother of five), her best friend Dodie, and her gynecologist, who reminded her, “You're not getting any younger." (Who is?)
One day, in a moment of intimacy when she and her mother were alone, Sarah attempted one last time to explain to her mother why she preferred to remain childless.
“Try to understand, Mom,” she said. "I'm not against children. I'm just against them for me. For Gracie, it's fine. She's a born mother. I just don't want to go through life with little gates all over the house and a bathtub full of ducks and boats. People who have children change, and it's scary. They lose a part of themselves that I don't want to lose. It's like someone flipping a switch. All of a sudden you're not a person anymore. You're attached to another human being. Separate them and they both die.
"I don't want to be an extension of someone else's fever, someone else's hunger, pain, disappointment, and frustration. I had a wonderful childhood, but when I was a child I never began to appreciate all your work and sacrifice. What did you get out of it? A lot of slammed doors and a wooden pig that held recipes for your birthday.
"If I had children, Mom, I'd be having them for all the wrong reasons—because you wanted to be a grandmother or Steve wanted someone to carry on his name or I couldn't stand the pressure of people wanting to know why I don't have children.
“I don't think I'm selfish. I'm certainly not bitter or angry. I just feel I have a choice and I have every right to make it. Do you understand?”
Her mother
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