her shoulder. Then back at Erin. “Can you tend bar?”
Five
A ll the way home, Erin thought about what Mel had said. Of course she was right. The empty feelings had started when Ian and Marcie moved into their own home. She’d been so happy for them, but she also had that empty, lost feeling inside. And shortly after that, Marcie had told her she was pregnant. She had hosted a dinner to celebrate that event—Ian was absolutely lit from inside, he was so alive and excited, but her feelings were a mixture of excitement and emptiness.
It wasn’t just the empty nest. She was also grieving that lost childhood, the lost young womanhood, and the fact that she was thirty-six and had never put any energy into a lasting relationship or children of her own. And how was she supposed to do that? Given a choice, there was no way she could have cast Marcie and Drew to the wind and told them to do their best while she worked on her personal life. Instead, she had helped nurse Marcie’s disabled husband, Bobby, helped Drew study for the MCAT to get into med school and worked her ass off to build an impressive clientele that pumped money into her firm, into her bonuses, and helped pay for med school, which cost the earth.
Lost in her thoughts, she put the dinner she had brought home from Jack’s in the refrigerator for later.
She took a low-fat yogurt and spoon out onto the deck, sat in her chaise looking out at the magnificent view and began to softly cry. She was thinking about the prom, of all things. She had picked out a prom dress one year, but she hadn’t been asked. And why would she have been asked? She was never available for the social things. No one knew she was alive. Fuck the Prom, she thought. I didn’t care about the fucking prom. Which is why I’m actually crying!
“I should’ve gone on a goddamn cruise with a bunch of goddamn old people,” she muttered, giving a sniff and a hiccup.
Suddenly, a head covered with dark hair and a full red beard peeked around the corner. “I didn’t know you were home,” Aiden remarked. “I didn’t hear a car.”
Erin’s eyes grew round, she gasped, and then instinctively dug her heels into the chaise to push herself away from him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He came around the cabin and stood in front of the deck. He was wearing his uniform of fatigue pants, T-shirt and boots and held a rake or something in his hand. “I thought you’d left. Given up and gone back to the city or something. But then I saw stuff, like the plants and pots, but no potting soil or fertilizer. I was trying to think of something to give you to say I regretted the head injury. I’m not taking responsibility for it, you understand,” he said, putting up a hand. “But I was going to get you a plant or something, and then I noticed the garden. Uh, well, it was sort of a garden….”
Erin wiped impatiently at her cheeks, trying to be nonchalant about it. “It turns out gardening isn’t my thing….”
“Yeah, I got that impression, but I thought maybe—” He bent at the waist and peered at her, frowning. “Are you crying?”
“Of course not!” she slammed back. “I have a little cold, or allergies, or something. My nose is runny, that’s all.”
“Oh. Sure. So I got to thinking, maybe you just needed a little help getting started. It’s been a while, but when we were kids, my mom kept a garden and made us all help, so I…” He squinted at her. “Allergies, huh?”
It was then that she noticed the plants she’d bought were now potted and sitting in the corners of her deck. “You potted the plants?”
“And got your vegetable garden going. It’s a little late, but with the right amount of fertilizer and water, you’ll get some stuff. Tomatoes if there’s enough sun. I put some flowers around the border. I planted sunflowers because they’re fun—you can almost see them grow. You could use a border of flowers along the front of the cabin. They’re on
Five
A ll the way home, Erin thought about what Mel had said. Of course she was right. The empty feelings had started when Ian and Marcie moved into their own home. She’d been so happy for them, but she also had that empty, lost feeling inside. And shortly after that, Marcie had told her she was pregnant. She had hosted a dinner to celebrate that event—Ian was absolutely lit from inside, he was so alive and excited, but her feelings were a mixture of excitement and emptiness.
It wasn’t just the empty nest. She was also grieving that lost childhood, the lost young womanhood, and the fact that she was thirty-six and had never put any energy into a lasting relationship or children of her own. And how was she supposed to do that? Given a choice, there was no way she could have cast Marcie and Drew to the wind and told them to do their best while she worked on her personal life. Instead, she had helped nurse Marcie’s disabled husband, Bobby, helped Drew study for the MCAT to get into med school and worked her ass off to build an impressive clientele that pumped money into her firm, into her bonuses, and helped pay for med school, which cost the earth.
Lost in her thoughts, she put the dinner she had brought home from Jack’s in the refrigerator for later.
She took a low-fat yogurt and spoon out onto the deck, sat in her chaise looking out at the magnificent view and began to softly cry. She was thinking about the prom, of all things. She had picked out a prom dress one year, but she hadn’t been asked. And why would she have been asked? She was never available for the social things. No one knew she was alive. Fuck the Prom, she thought. I didn’t care about the fucking prom. Which is why I’m actually crying!
“I should’ve gone on a goddamn cruise with a bunch of goddamn old people,” she muttered, giving a sniff and a hiccup.
Suddenly, a head covered with dark hair and a full red beard peeked around the corner. “I didn’t know you were home,” Aiden remarked. “I didn’t hear a car.”
Erin’s eyes grew round, she gasped, and then instinctively dug her heels into the chaise to push herself away from him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He came around the cabin and stood in front of the deck. He was wearing his uniform of fatigue pants, T-shirt and boots and held a rake or something in his hand. “I thought you’d left. Given up and gone back to the city or something. But then I saw stuff, like the plants and pots, but no potting soil or fertilizer. I was trying to think of something to give you to say I regretted the head injury. I’m not taking responsibility for it, you understand,” he said, putting up a hand. “But I was going to get you a plant or something, and then I noticed the garden. Uh, well, it was sort of a garden….”
Erin wiped impatiently at her cheeks, trying to be nonchalant about it. “It turns out gardening isn’t my thing….”
“Yeah, I got that impression, but I thought maybe—” He bent at the waist and peered at her, frowning. “Are you crying?”
“Of course not!” she slammed back. “I have a little cold, or allergies, or something. My nose is runny, that’s all.”
“Oh. Sure. So I got to thinking, maybe you just needed a little help getting started. It’s been a while, but when we were kids, my mom kept a garden and made us all help, so I…” He squinted at her. “Allergies, huh?”
It was then that she noticed the plants she’d bought were now potted and sitting in the corners of her deck. “You potted the plants?”
“And got your vegetable garden going. It’s a little late, but with the right amount of fertilizer and water, you’ll get some stuff. Tomatoes if there’s enough sun. I put some flowers around the border. I planted sunflowers because they’re fun—you can almost see them grow. You could use a border of flowers along the front of the cabin. They’re on
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