Sondra reached over and took Allyson’s hand again.
“Yeah.” Allyson lowered her head and looked to Sondra’s hand on hers. Then she looked up at her, peering up under her lashes.
“And does my faith give me that?” Sondra continued. “Yeah. It does. Am I always ‘happy’ No. That’s a fantasy.” It made Ally feel better. She wasn’t the only one with these struggles and issues. And she knew that God was there—with her—no matter what. But still . . . well, she just wished it was easier to change.
Allyson released a sigh. Some of her pent-up tension released with it. “I think I’m up.” Ally stood to bowl. She moved to get her ball.
“Hey Ally,” Sondra called after her. Her voice was low. Allyson turned back.
There was a softness to Sondra’s face that Allyson hadn’t seen too often. A tenderness and maybe even vulnerability. Allyson leaned over, placing her hands on her knees, to hear what Sondra had to say.
“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” Sondra offered a shy smile. “You know, it’s the first time anyone from the church has invited me to something like this.” She shrugged. “First time in five years.” She forced a soft laugh, as if it hadn’t bothered her . . . but Allyson could see that it had.
Allyson stood straighter. “Of course.”
Sondra looked back to the table. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as if she was trying to hold her emotion in. And if Allyson wasn’t mistaken, there was the hint of tears in Sondra’s eyes as she looked back to her drink. Sondra lifted it up and took a sip.
Allyson turned back around slowly. For so long she had thought Sondra had everything together, but maybe that was just a show. Was it better to explode or better to hold everything in and keep everyone else at arm’s length? For the first time Allyson wondered if one was just as bad as the other.
Izzy hurried around Allyson. She placed a hand on Allyson’s arms and pointed to the balls. “Hey, go.”
“I’m going. I’m going.” Allyson stepped closer. Izzy walked around her and then sat in the chair that Allyson had just left. She settled in and then leaned forward.
“Hey, can I ask you something? A little free advice?” Izzy asked, leaning close to Sondra.
And then, as if someone had just pulled down the shades on a sunny day, the look on Sondra’s face transformed. The vulnerability was gone. She took off her Sondra hat and put on her pastor’s wife hat again.
Allyson released the breath she’d been holding, and in that moment Sondra looked differently in her eyes. Sondra wanted to help everyone, but how often did people want to help her? She tried to be everyone’s friend, but who reached out to befriend her? Allyson had been so worried about her mommy meltdowns that she hadn’t even taken time to really listen to Sondra’s concerns.
As she picked up the bowling ball and hurried to the lane, Allyson wondered if it was suffocating being the one who everyone confided in. Especially when hearing everyone else’s confessions, worries, and fears did nothing to help your own.
CHAPTER TEN
Marco / 8:00 PM
Called 10 times, where R U?
Marco / 8:00 PM IZZY . . . HELP!!!
Sean / 8:00 PM Ally, don't freak out.
Marco / 8:00 PM
I'm freaking out-of-control
Sean / 8:00 PM
Got everything under control
Marco / 8:00 PM Totally out of control!!
Sean / 8:00 PM Just need to chat.
Sean tried to ignore the sounds of video games behind him as he spoke into his cell phone. He’d tried to text Allyson, but she hadn’t returned the text messages. He knew Marco had tried to reach Izzy too.
Sean had seen the frantic look in Marco’s eyes as he’d tried to get a hold of Izzy. “This is bad. This is bad,” Marco had repeated over and over.
Finally Sean gave in and called Allyson. He knew she’d be upset—really upset—if he didn’t try to reach her. There was no answer to her cell phone, so he decided to leave a message. It made him happy that Allyson had taken
“Yeah.” Allyson lowered her head and looked to Sondra’s hand on hers. Then she looked up at her, peering up under her lashes.
“And does my faith give me that?” Sondra continued. “Yeah. It does. Am I always ‘happy’ No. That’s a fantasy.” It made Ally feel better. She wasn’t the only one with these struggles and issues. And she knew that God was there—with her—no matter what. But still . . . well, she just wished it was easier to change.
Allyson released a sigh. Some of her pent-up tension released with it. “I think I’m up.” Ally stood to bowl. She moved to get her ball.
“Hey Ally,” Sondra called after her. Her voice was low. Allyson turned back.
There was a softness to Sondra’s face that Allyson hadn’t seen too often. A tenderness and maybe even vulnerability. Allyson leaned over, placing her hands on her knees, to hear what Sondra had to say.
“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” Sondra offered a shy smile. “You know, it’s the first time anyone from the church has invited me to something like this.” She shrugged. “First time in five years.” She forced a soft laugh, as if it hadn’t bothered her . . . but Allyson could see that it had.
Allyson stood straighter. “Of course.”
Sondra looked back to the table. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as if she was trying to hold her emotion in. And if Allyson wasn’t mistaken, there was the hint of tears in Sondra’s eyes as she looked back to her drink. Sondra lifted it up and took a sip.
Allyson turned back around slowly. For so long she had thought Sondra had everything together, but maybe that was just a show. Was it better to explode or better to hold everything in and keep everyone else at arm’s length? For the first time Allyson wondered if one was just as bad as the other.
Izzy hurried around Allyson. She placed a hand on Allyson’s arms and pointed to the balls. “Hey, go.”
“I’m going. I’m going.” Allyson stepped closer. Izzy walked around her and then sat in the chair that Allyson had just left. She settled in and then leaned forward.
“Hey, can I ask you something? A little free advice?” Izzy asked, leaning close to Sondra.
And then, as if someone had just pulled down the shades on a sunny day, the look on Sondra’s face transformed. The vulnerability was gone. She took off her Sondra hat and put on her pastor’s wife hat again.
Allyson released the breath she’d been holding, and in that moment Sondra looked differently in her eyes. Sondra wanted to help everyone, but how often did people want to help her? She tried to be everyone’s friend, but who reached out to befriend her? Allyson had been so worried about her mommy meltdowns that she hadn’t even taken time to really listen to Sondra’s concerns.
As she picked up the bowling ball and hurried to the lane, Allyson wondered if it was suffocating being the one who everyone confided in. Especially when hearing everyone else’s confessions, worries, and fears did nothing to help your own.
CHAPTER TEN
Marco / 8:00 PM
Called 10 times, where R U?
Marco / 8:00 PM IZZY . . . HELP!!!
Sean / 8:00 PM Ally, don't freak out.
Marco / 8:00 PM
I'm freaking out-of-control
Sean / 8:00 PM
Got everything under control
Marco / 8:00 PM Totally out of control!!
Sean / 8:00 PM Just need to chat.
Sean tried to ignore the sounds of video games behind him as he spoke into his cell phone. He’d tried to text Allyson, but she hadn’t returned the text messages. He knew Marco had tried to reach Izzy too.
Sean had seen the frantic look in Marco’s eyes as he’d tried to get a hold of Izzy. “This is bad. This is bad,” Marco had repeated over and over.
Finally Sean gave in and called Allyson. He knew she’d be upset—really upset—if he didn’t try to reach her. There was no answer to her cell phone, so he decided to leave a message. It made him happy that Allyson had taken
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