snatched the phone and angrily dialed Nora’s number. Tegan dropped the keys to the rental car on the table and quietly slipped out of Ashley’s new hotel room. Ashley threw his body on the loveseat and stared at the ceiling while he waited for his mum to pick up. She answered quickly.
“Son! How is it in America? Is the tour going well?”
“You’ve been here. You know exactly how it is in America.” Something he had recently found out.
“Right. You’re upset. I knew that was why you were avoiding me.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you, but I know what you want me to do, and that’s not happening. So, there’s no point in calling, trying to get me to change my mind. I still can’t believe you told that fucker I was performing in a town near him.” He grimaced at his choice of words, feeling like a jerk for talking to his mum like that. Ashley had always had difficulty bridling his tongue; Nora was well aware.
“He’s your father, Ashley.”
Ashley sat up restlessly. “Mum, a father is someone who’s there for you, not someone who leaves your mother pregnant and alone, waiting on a lie. He promised that he’d come back and marry you, but instead he left you with a baby and no real way to take care of me. You’re too forgiving. My father is William. He’s the man who raised me. I don’t know any Reginald Harold.”
Things he had learned in the week before departing for his first tour had left him feeling like he didn’t even know himself or his family. The man he had called Dad all his life was no relation to him. Instead, Ashley discovered his mother had been an escort in the wild days of her youth, and she had met a wealthy businessman and shared a whirlwind courtship that resulted in his birth. Reginald Harold hadn’t so much as sent a postcard since.
He didn’t understand why she was intent on making father and son meet after all these years. Ashley was happy with the way things were. He felt to meet Reginald Harold would be an insult to William, even though his stepfather had expressly asked him to meet the man, too.
The closer his tour had brought him to this town, the more insistent Nora had become, but Ashley just wasn’t interested. He was getting frustrated with the constant reminders of Reginald Harold’s existence after a lifetime of not knowing the man. He realized he was unfairly taking out his frustrations on his mother and bit his tongue before another sharp retort flew out.
“Mum, I’m sorry. You caught me at a bad time. I was on my way out, and I didn’t want to get into this right now, but Tegan felt I needed to talk with you.”
“Ashley, there’s a lot you don’t know.” Nora took a shaky breath, and Ashley thought he heard her sniffle on the end of the line.
“I wish he hadn’t hurt you.”
“I’ve made my peace with it. You’ll understand it better by and by. Sometimes love isn’t something that lasts for eternity or gets shouted from the mountaintops. Sometimes it’s a secret moment between two people. That doesn’t make it any less real. Besides, think of how differently our lives would’ve gone had things been otherwise. I’m happy with William, and I’m happy with the young man I’ve raised. You’re a good boy, Ashley.”
“You’re wrong about one thing, though. Love shouldn’t be a secret. I’ll never understand that. When I fall, I won’t ever be content with hiding in the closet. Now, I’ve gotta go, Mum. I have someone waiting to meet with me. I promise I’ll call you later when we can really talk.”
“That’s fine, son. I wanted to hear your voice.”
“I love you, Mum.”
“Love you, too, Ash.”
He hung up the phone and held it awhile, staring at the floor. His mother had sacrificed much for the man she loved, but Ashley would never be able to do that. He was pleased Nora had quickly found happiness with William, a man who loved her in return. Ashley pushed up from the seat and grabbed the keys. He tossed the keys in
“Son! How is it in America? Is the tour going well?”
“You’ve been here. You know exactly how it is in America.” Something he had recently found out.
“Right. You’re upset. I knew that was why you were avoiding me.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you, but I know what you want me to do, and that’s not happening. So, there’s no point in calling, trying to get me to change my mind. I still can’t believe you told that fucker I was performing in a town near him.” He grimaced at his choice of words, feeling like a jerk for talking to his mum like that. Ashley had always had difficulty bridling his tongue; Nora was well aware.
“He’s your father, Ashley.”
Ashley sat up restlessly. “Mum, a father is someone who’s there for you, not someone who leaves your mother pregnant and alone, waiting on a lie. He promised that he’d come back and marry you, but instead he left you with a baby and no real way to take care of me. You’re too forgiving. My father is William. He’s the man who raised me. I don’t know any Reginald Harold.”
Things he had learned in the week before departing for his first tour had left him feeling like he didn’t even know himself or his family. The man he had called Dad all his life was no relation to him. Instead, Ashley discovered his mother had been an escort in the wild days of her youth, and she had met a wealthy businessman and shared a whirlwind courtship that resulted in his birth. Reginald Harold hadn’t so much as sent a postcard since.
He didn’t understand why she was intent on making father and son meet after all these years. Ashley was happy with the way things were. He felt to meet Reginald Harold would be an insult to William, even though his stepfather had expressly asked him to meet the man, too.
The closer his tour had brought him to this town, the more insistent Nora had become, but Ashley just wasn’t interested. He was getting frustrated with the constant reminders of Reginald Harold’s existence after a lifetime of not knowing the man. He realized he was unfairly taking out his frustrations on his mother and bit his tongue before another sharp retort flew out.
“Mum, I’m sorry. You caught me at a bad time. I was on my way out, and I didn’t want to get into this right now, but Tegan felt I needed to talk with you.”
“Ashley, there’s a lot you don’t know.” Nora took a shaky breath, and Ashley thought he heard her sniffle on the end of the line.
“I wish he hadn’t hurt you.”
“I’ve made my peace with it. You’ll understand it better by and by. Sometimes love isn’t something that lasts for eternity or gets shouted from the mountaintops. Sometimes it’s a secret moment between two people. That doesn’t make it any less real. Besides, think of how differently our lives would’ve gone had things been otherwise. I’m happy with William, and I’m happy with the young man I’ve raised. You’re a good boy, Ashley.”
“You’re wrong about one thing, though. Love shouldn’t be a secret. I’ll never understand that. When I fall, I won’t ever be content with hiding in the closet. Now, I’ve gotta go, Mum. I have someone waiting to meet with me. I promise I’ll call you later when we can really talk.”
“That’s fine, son. I wanted to hear your voice.”
“I love you, Mum.”
“Love you, too, Ash.”
He hung up the phone and held it awhile, staring at the floor. His mother had sacrificed much for the man she loved, but Ashley would never be able to do that. He was pleased Nora had quickly found happiness with William, a man who loved her in return. Ashley pushed up from the seat and grabbed the keys. He tossed the keys in
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