attempted to suppress. You cannot make me believe otherwise, my darling creature. Your honour and modesty are only two of the becoming qualities which adorn your perfect character. As for me, I am lost. All that I am has crumbled under this terrible torment. I am not the man I felt I was, but some wretched beast who can neither sleep nor eat, but, dear, dear, madam, your letter has offered me hope, it has provided me with a possible solution to the predicament which I face.
You have stated in your letter that your future depends upon your cousin’s marrying, so that you might then be taken into the household of her husband or the households of her brothers. Inthis there is great hope for our shared happiness, as upon making Lady Catherine my wife, I shall offer you a place in my home as well. Your cousin would not feel the loneliness to which ladies are often prone directly after marriage, and I, madam, should always have the pleasure of your companionship and sisterly affection, as you suggest.
I am most grateful to you, my dear Henrietta, as your letter has convinced me of the correctness of my next step. You will therefore not blame me, but congratulate me for the action I have taken in order to secure this end. Just this night, I have supped with Lord Stavourley and officially applied to him for the hand of his daughter. After learning of my reduced means, he was, I admit, hesitant at first, but he has since been persuaded that with his daughter’s portion and the addition of an income secured through a position in government, we may live comfortably.
The matter is all but agreed and depends only upon your cousin’s concurrence. This, I believe, will be made final when I accompany the Earl to Melmouth in three days’ time. I have written to Lady Catherine to inform her of my visit.
Oh, my dear Henrietta, should it come to pass, I would be made the happiest man alive. I cannot fail to see how the situation would not be agreeable to all concerned. I am until then your most contented and loving,
Allenham
Burn this.
By the time my eyes had taken in his final paragraph, I had fallen upon my knees and clapped my hand to my mouth. The letter trembled in my grasp. The deed had been done! The wheels had been set in motion at my direction—yet something seemed terribly wrong! I had to read his words three or four times before I was certain of his meanings. He had declared his love for me—oh joy! How my heart radiatedwith heat, how my head spun, yet my soul was filled with such a discord, such dismay and misery! Was this an honourable course upon which to embark? Oh! I did not know! The mind of a girl not yet seventeen is a clouded thing in the best of times, but when in love there is no clarity of judgement, no sense of direction. And what should such a young lady do without the counsel of even one friend or guardian? Have some pity upon me, reader. I was naive and confused. I had no one to whom I could turn. I could not decide what to do. I panted. I held my chest and lay down to think. I read the letter again, this time attempting to calm myself. It seemed different when I did not panic, when I permitted reason to guide me.
When I caught my breath and considered it, there was nothing in his suggestion at all improper. Was it not the very design my uncle had intended for me all along? Did Allenham not propose we live as brother and sister? The more I reasoned, the more I could see that Allenham’s plan was in no way a dishonourable one. He would never have suggested such a deception. Indeed, all parties stood to benefit: Lady Catherine would have Allenham as her husband (which was what she desired); he might have the benefit of a marriage to a suitable wife; I might then be assured of the protection of a man who cared for my well-being, while he and my cousin might also prosper through my companionship. I reasoned and quieted my fears, but in truth I felt no better than a bird caught in a net, not knowing what to do
You have stated in your letter that your future depends upon your cousin’s marrying, so that you might then be taken into the household of her husband or the households of her brothers. Inthis there is great hope for our shared happiness, as upon making Lady Catherine my wife, I shall offer you a place in my home as well. Your cousin would not feel the loneliness to which ladies are often prone directly after marriage, and I, madam, should always have the pleasure of your companionship and sisterly affection, as you suggest.
I am most grateful to you, my dear Henrietta, as your letter has convinced me of the correctness of my next step. You will therefore not blame me, but congratulate me for the action I have taken in order to secure this end. Just this night, I have supped with Lord Stavourley and officially applied to him for the hand of his daughter. After learning of my reduced means, he was, I admit, hesitant at first, but he has since been persuaded that with his daughter’s portion and the addition of an income secured through a position in government, we may live comfortably.
The matter is all but agreed and depends only upon your cousin’s concurrence. This, I believe, will be made final when I accompany the Earl to Melmouth in three days’ time. I have written to Lady Catherine to inform her of my visit.
Oh, my dear Henrietta, should it come to pass, I would be made the happiest man alive. I cannot fail to see how the situation would not be agreeable to all concerned. I am until then your most contented and loving,
Allenham
Burn this.
By the time my eyes had taken in his final paragraph, I had fallen upon my knees and clapped my hand to my mouth. The letter trembled in my grasp. The deed had been done! The wheels had been set in motion at my direction—yet something seemed terribly wrong! I had to read his words three or four times before I was certain of his meanings. He had declared his love for me—oh joy! How my heart radiatedwith heat, how my head spun, yet my soul was filled with such a discord, such dismay and misery! Was this an honourable course upon which to embark? Oh! I did not know! The mind of a girl not yet seventeen is a clouded thing in the best of times, but when in love there is no clarity of judgement, no sense of direction. And what should such a young lady do without the counsel of even one friend or guardian? Have some pity upon me, reader. I was naive and confused. I had no one to whom I could turn. I could not decide what to do. I panted. I held my chest and lay down to think. I read the letter again, this time attempting to calm myself. It seemed different when I did not panic, when I permitted reason to guide me.
When I caught my breath and considered it, there was nothing in his suggestion at all improper. Was it not the very design my uncle had intended for me all along? Did Allenham not propose we live as brother and sister? The more I reasoned, the more I could see that Allenham’s plan was in no way a dishonourable one. He would never have suggested such a deception. Indeed, all parties stood to benefit: Lady Catherine would have Allenham as her husband (which was what she desired); he might have the benefit of a marriage to a suitable wife; I might then be assured of the protection of a man who cared for my well-being, while he and my cousin might also prosper through my companionship. I reasoned and quieted my fears, but in truth I felt no better than a bird caught in a net, not knowing what to do
Similar Books
Startup Weekend: How to Take a Company From Concept to Creation in 54 Hours
Marc Nager, Clint Nelsen, Franck Nouyrigat
