Mission: Earth "Death Quest" by Ron L. Hubbard Page B
Authors: Ron L. Hubbard
Tags: sf_humor
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one:
AGNES P. MORELAY, Ph.D., M.D. KEEP OUT!
But you couldn't drive in the gate.
The inner road was blocked entirely by the most mammoth motor home I have ever seen.
"Oooooo!" said the Countess Krak. "What is that?"
Bang-Bang backed the cab and parked it at the street curb well away from the gate and out of its sight. He got out.
The Countess Krak picked up her shopping bag. She alighted. They walked back along the spiked wall to the pte.
She stopped and stared at the huge vehicle. "Bang-Bang, I didn't know they had those on this planet."
"Well, yes, ma'am," he said learnedly, "what you're
DEATH QUEST
105
looking at is pretty impressive, I will agree. What they do is take the frame of one of these super-size Greyhound buses, the kind that has a scenic deck for western tours, and they start from there. Now, a Greyhound bus has, below its floor and all along its length, a baggage compartment three feet or so high. Well, they eliminate that, which gives them lots of room. Then they extend the upper scenic floor and you get a two-story bus. Then they turn handcraftsmen loose and they build salons and dining rooms and staterooms and Jesus Christ knows what else. But this one, I see, seems to have a second driving cockpit in the roof, too, like a seagoing sports fisherman. Mike Mutazione told me all about these, in case I ever had to blow one up. Only multimillionaires could ever afford one, 'cause I think they cost three hundred G's on up. And from the looks of this one, it's closer to a million!"
The Countess Krak was going along the front of it. She found a big nameplate. It said:
Land Yacht Super-Deluxe
Kostly Custom Coach Company Detroit
Then she went all down the side of it, peeking in the antiglare opaqued windows and trying the various outside entrance doors. It was all white paint and chrome.
"Bang-Bang," she said, "it's just like the circus ground caravans we used to use when I was a little girl. I've travelled all over Atalanta in one of these."
"I didn't know you were with a southern circus."
"Bang-Bang, can you drive one of these?"
"Now, wait a minute, Miss Joy. It says right here on
these parole release papers that if I'm caught stealing a car, up I go to Ossining again and it's only a few miles north of here. And I think we got enough troubles already. Here comes the butler or somebody."
A very butler-type butler was coming down the drive from the sprawling house. He said in a rather severe voice, "The service station manager phoned us you were coming. If you will accompany me, I shall inform Dr. Morelay you have arrived."
"Bang-Bang," said the Countess Krak, "you stand by out here." She popped a pill into her mouth. She hefted her shopping bag and followed the butler.
They went through a large, iron entrance door and entered a huge hallway. It was all of gray stone and decorated with displays of broadaxes, battle-axes and headsmen's axes. The butler motioned for her to wait and walked on through another door at the end.
The Countess Krak took a completely blank card out of her purse. She took a small vial and sprayed something invisible on it. Then she put both back into her purse.
The butler came through the door and stood beside it. As though summoning someone to a royal audience, he said, "Dr. Morelay will see you now."
The Countess Krak passed him and entered a dark room. It seemed to be a sort of combination consulting room and den, made oppressive by black beams in the ceiling and deadly by the amount of electric shock equipment standing about.
A woman was standing there. She was dressed like a Harley Street doctor would be dressed-black suit coat, pants and vest. She looked to be in her mid-forties. Her grayish hair was pulled severely into a knot. Her eyeglasses had a black silk ribbon. She held them and looked
through them with great distaste at the Countess Krak. So this was the Miss Agnes I pretended to know, this was the Miss Agnes that Bury hated so. Rockecenter's private
AGNES P. MORELAY, Ph.D., M.D. KEEP OUT!
But you couldn't drive in the gate.
The inner road was blocked entirely by the most mammoth motor home I have ever seen.
"Oooooo!" said the Countess Krak. "What is that?"
Bang-Bang backed the cab and parked it at the street curb well away from the gate and out of its sight. He got out.
The Countess Krak picked up her shopping bag. She alighted. They walked back along the spiked wall to the pte.
She stopped and stared at the huge vehicle. "Bang-Bang, I didn't know they had those on this planet."
"Well, yes, ma'am," he said learnedly, "what you're
DEATH QUEST
105
looking at is pretty impressive, I will agree. What they do is take the frame of one of these super-size Greyhound buses, the kind that has a scenic deck for western tours, and they start from there. Now, a Greyhound bus has, below its floor and all along its length, a baggage compartment three feet or so high. Well, they eliminate that, which gives them lots of room. Then they extend the upper scenic floor and you get a two-story bus. Then they turn handcraftsmen loose and they build salons and dining rooms and staterooms and Jesus Christ knows what else. But this one, I see, seems to have a second driving cockpit in the roof, too, like a seagoing sports fisherman. Mike Mutazione told me all about these, in case I ever had to blow one up. Only multimillionaires could ever afford one, 'cause I think they cost three hundred G's on up. And from the looks of this one, it's closer to a million!"
The Countess Krak was going along the front of it. She found a big nameplate. It said:
Land Yacht Super-Deluxe
Kostly Custom Coach Company Detroit
Then she went all down the side of it, peeking in the antiglare opaqued windows and trying the various outside entrance doors. It was all white paint and chrome.
"Bang-Bang," she said, "it's just like the circus ground caravans we used to use when I was a little girl. I've travelled all over Atalanta in one of these."
"I didn't know you were with a southern circus."
"Bang-Bang, can you drive one of these?"
"Now, wait a minute, Miss Joy. It says right here on
these parole release papers that if I'm caught stealing a car, up I go to Ossining again and it's only a few miles north of here. And I think we got enough troubles already. Here comes the butler or somebody."
A very butler-type butler was coming down the drive from the sprawling house. He said in a rather severe voice, "The service station manager phoned us you were coming. If you will accompany me, I shall inform Dr. Morelay you have arrived."
"Bang-Bang," said the Countess Krak, "you stand by out here." She popped a pill into her mouth. She hefted her shopping bag and followed the butler.
They went through a large, iron entrance door and entered a huge hallway. It was all of gray stone and decorated with displays of broadaxes, battle-axes and headsmen's axes. The butler motioned for her to wait and walked on through another door at the end.
The Countess Krak took a completely blank card out of her purse. She took a small vial and sprayed something invisible on it. Then she put both back into her purse.
The butler came through the door and stood beside it. As though summoning someone to a royal audience, he said, "Dr. Morelay will see you now."
The Countess Krak passed him and entered a dark room. It seemed to be a sort of combination consulting room and den, made oppressive by black beams in the ceiling and deadly by the amount of electric shock equipment standing about.
A woman was standing there. She was dressed like a Harley Street doctor would be dressed-black suit coat, pants and vest. She looked to be in her mid-forties. Her grayish hair was pulled severely into a knot. Her eyeglasses had a black silk ribbon. She held them and looked
through them with great distaste at the Countess Krak. So this was the Miss Agnes I pretended to know, this was the Miss Agnes that Bury hated so. Rockecenter's private
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