Gap? When I started working at Friendly’s, I was working both Friday and Saturday nights, plus Sundays during the day, for a total of twenty-five hours a week. I also was taking four college courses.
On one Monday during math class, the white presence struck again. Now I was feeling the sensation with a fourth person. Tyler, Carmine, and Eric weren’t in this math class. There were a lot of boys in this class, so it took me a while to figure out who it was, but I eventually thought it was a friend of my cousin Alex named Gabe. Alex used to talk about Gabe a lot, since they both worked together at the same supermarket. I would hear Gabe talk in class and knew who he was, but I had rarely ever talked to him before. The first time I heard his voice, I was unsure. The next time this occurred, Gabe came in late and the only open seat in the class was in front of me. It was soon after I had bought the Penthouse magazine, and I told the kid sitting next to me that I was going to let him borrow it. So, in my mind, I told Gabe, “You know I’m going to give him the Penthouse right now. You better look behind you.” It must have been a coincidence, but at that moment, Gabe turned around. “So this is really going on between us,” I told him in my mind.
Still, it was about a week into this—whatever “this” was—and I hadn’t told anyone about the voices. I was trying to do my best to ignore them and push them out of my mind, but it was impossible. I dreaded going to school, and I would purposely stay up late so that I’d be tired for school—so tired that I wouldn’t concentrate on the voices. It didn’t work. By late March, I felt that I was communicating with Gabe during first period, Eric during second period and fifth period, and then Tyler during eighth and ninth periods.
Third period I had sociology, which once again had only a few boys in the class. Shortly after hearing Gabe’s voice in math class, I began to feel that I was communicating with Zach, who actually had the same last name as Carmine’s girlfriend. I knew they weren’t brother and sister, but they were related somehow. Soon after that, in English class, I began to hear another voice, that of a junior named Henry. Henry and I had never talked before. All I knew was that he was friends with Carmine; I didn’t know how they knew each other.
The only class periods that I didn’t hear somebody’s voice in were Spanish, sixth period, and lunch, seventh period. The last voice that entered my mind was Sam’s. This was different than the rest of the voices that I’d heard. Everybody else I would never talk to. Sam and I would talk occasionally, and I would see him when I worked at the Gap in Colonie Center. Ever since I made the move to Friendly’s, I didn’t see Sam as much. When I started hearing his voice in my mind, I hoped that he’d acknowledge that this was happening between the two of us and I would realize that I wasn’t a schizophrenic. The next day after I heard his voice, I said hi to Sam and he said hi back—then we stopped talking to each other.
On Thursday, April 12, 2001, it was Holy Thursday, the last day before our spring recess. I was so happy to have a break from school; for the past three weeks, I’d been hearing voices in my mind and had only one class period in which I felt that somebody wasn’t reading my mind. Since I’d begun to hear the voices, I’d had trouble concentrating in school and never talked to anybody, except Randy during seventh-period lunch, which we spent in the library. This day was also my mother’s birthday, but I got up in the morning and didn’t even say happy birthday to her—I was that engrossed in what was happening in my mind. I remember hearing Tyler’s voice at the end of the day say, “I’m a good son. I would never forget my mother’s birthday.”
I was able to spend my spring recess in peace; since up to that point I only heard the voices in school. I worked over the break
On one Monday during math class, the white presence struck again. Now I was feeling the sensation with a fourth person. Tyler, Carmine, and Eric weren’t in this math class. There were a lot of boys in this class, so it took me a while to figure out who it was, but I eventually thought it was a friend of my cousin Alex named Gabe. Alex used to talk about Gabe a lot, since they both worked together at the same supermarket. I would hear Gabe talk in class and knew who he was, but I had rarely ever talked to him before. The first time I heard his voice, I was unsure. The next time this occurred, Gabe came in late and the only open seat in the class was in front of me. It was soon after I had bought the Penthouse magazine, and I told the kid sitting next to me that I was going to let him borrow it. So, in my mind, I told Gabe, “You know I’m going to give him the Penthouse right now. You better look behind you.” It must have been a coincidence, but at that moment, Gabe turned around. “So this is really going on between us,” I told him in my mind.
Still, it was about a week into this—whatever “this” was—and I hadn’t told anyone about the voices. I was trying to do my best to ignore them and push them out of my mind, but it was impossible. I dreaded going to school, and I would purposely stay up late so that I’d be tired for school—so tired that I wouldn’t concentrate on the voices. It didn’t work. By late March, I felt that I was communicating with Gabe during first period, Eric during second period and fifth period, and then Tyler during eighth and ninth periods.
Third period I had sociology, which once again had only a few boys in the class. Shortly after hearing Gabe’s voice in math class, I began to feel that I was communicating with Zach, who actually had the same last name as Carmine’s girlfriend. I knew they weren’t brother and sister, but they were related somehow. Soon after that, in English class, I began to hear another voice, that of a junior named Henry. Henry and I had never talked before. All I knew was that he was friends with Carmine; I didn’t know how they knew each other.
The only class periods that I didn’t hear somebody’s voice in were Spanish, sixth period, and lunch, seventh period. The last voice that entered my mind was Sam’s. This was different than the rest of the voices that I’d heard. Everybody else I would never talk to. Sam and I would talk occasionally, and I would see him when I worked at the Gap in Colonie Center. Ever since I made the move to Friendly’s, I didn’t see Sam as much. When I started hearing his voice in my mind, I hoped that he’d acknowledge that this was happening between the two of us and I would realize that I wasn’t a schizophrenic. The next day after I heard his voice, I said hi to Sam and he said hi back—then we stopped talking to each other.
On Thursday, April 12, 2001, it was Holy Thursday, the last day before our spring recess. I was so happy to have a break from school; for the past three weeks, I’d been hearing voices in my mind and had only one class period in which I felt that somebody wasn’t reading my mind. Since I’d begun to hear the voices, I’d had trouble concentrating in school and never talked to anybody, except Randy during seventh-period lunch, which we spent in the library. This day was also my mother’s birthday, but I got up in the morning and didn’t even say happy birthday to her—I was that engrossed in what was happening in my mind. I remember hearing Tyler’s voice at the end of the day say, “I’m a good son. I would never forget my mother’s birthday.”
I was able to spend my spring recess in peace; since up to that point I only heard the voices in school. I worked over the break
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