Missing by Becky Citra

broke up a couple of months ago.”
    Van went out with Lindsay . I try to arrange my face so nothing shows, but I’m not sure how I feel about this. Lindsay is so pretty, and she seems really popular.
    â€œWe’re just friends,” I repeat.
    Chloe takes a final drag on her cigarette and then drops it on the ground and puts it out with the toe of her runner. She picks up the butt and lays it carefully on the step beside her. “I don’t smoke nearly as much as I used to,” she says. “But you know—it’s a party.” She smiles at me, her teeth white against her olive skin. “Van says you’re into horses.”
    Van has been talking about me?
    â€œI used to ride all the time,” I say. “I kind of grew up with horses.”
    â€œMe too,” says Chloe. “I ride almost every day. Do you have a horse now?”
    â€œNo. Well, I’m sort of borrowing one.”
    â€œLike a lease, you mean?”
    â€œNot exactly.” I find myself telling her about Renegade. I tell her about how I’m working him in the round pen and how he’s starting to make eye contact with me. I talk more than I mean to, and I cut it off abruptly, embarrassed. Chloe will think I’m a motormouth.
    But she looks fascinated. “I’d love to see him,” she says. “Maybe I could ride my horse over one day.” Now it’s Chloe’s turn to look embarrassed. “Not that I’m pushy or anything,” she says.
    â€œNo, I’d love that,” I say. “You can come anytime.”
    Van comes outside then, the screen door banging behind him. “There you are,” he says. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You’re on for Ping Pong.” He smiles at Chloe. “Hey, Chloe,” he says.
    â€œHey,” says Chloe. She puts up both her hands.
    â€œNo cigarette.”
    â€œWe’re trying to get her to quit,” says Van.
    â€œYes, Mother,” says Chloe. “Wait a sec,” she says to me. “Phone number?” We exchange numbers and enter them into our cell phones. Then she gives me a little nudge with her foot and I get up. I glance back at her as Van and I go inside and she mouths “He likes you” at me.
    She grins. She has a great smile. It’s contagious. I grin back.

    I get caught up in the Ping Pong game. When I make an especially fantastic spike, everyone hollers and I hear myself hollering too. Then someone puts on a movie and Van and I squish onto one end of a long couch. I don’t get a chance to talk to Chloe again, though she catches my eye once across the room and smiles. Later, when I look around for her, I can’t see her anywhere, and I figure she must have left.
    Van’s dad picks us up at eleven. I thank Lindsay and her mom, who’s sitting upstairs in the living room, looking like she wishes everyone would leave. I fall asleep in the truck, and the next thing I know we’re at the Double R and Van’s shaking my shoulder.
    â€œSee you,” he says as I climb out.
    â€œSee you,” I say.

    I can’t sleep. How can I be so dead tired one minute and so wide-awake the next? I toss and turn for an hour. My phone hums. There’s a text message from Chloe, just saying hi. She can’t sleep either. I text her back. Then I lie there and think about Van for a while and wonder how he’s feeling about his grandfather. We didn’t get a chance to talk about it tonight. There were always too many people around.
    Finally I get up and get dressed again in my jeans and a T-shirt. I pull on my running shoes. I close the door quietly behind me and stand on the porch for a moment. It’s still bright outside. Moonlight shimmers in a silvery path down the middle of the black lake. A bat flits silently past my head. I hurry to the barn.

    It’s like we’re doing some kind of dance. Just me and Renegade. He moves when I move, shifting his