Misadventures by Sylvia Smith Page A

friends, leaving the rain to slowly wash away her waste.
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    Shaunagh and Sharon went to the Irish pub in Leytonstone, a regular haunt of theirs one Saturday night. At closing time they invited various friends and acquaintances back to their home for a party. The stereo was played very loudly and the thirty guests were drinking heavily. Shaunagh was not concerned when a fight broke out in thedining room, resulting in the landlord’s antique coffee table being broken and the front gate coming off its hinges as the violence spilled over into the street Vince, the landlord, was very easygoing. When he arrived at the house later that day for the rents, he was not bothered about the table and found a screwdriver to help him put the gate back into the wall, without making too much comment.
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    Both Shaunagh and Sharon found Vince to be a nuisance. He was in his forties and in his second marriage, which was very turbulent. Every few weeks he and his wife would have a terrible row and Vince would move out of the matrimonial home and into the spare bedroom in Shaunagh and Sharon’s home, which infuriated both girls. He would stay a few days then he would make it up with his wife and return to her. Two months later they would have another battle and he would move in with Shaunagh and Sharon again. His temporary residence at the house stopped when Shaunagh found him a third paying lodger.
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    Shaunagh’s habit of a good drink on a Saturday night frequently landed her in trouble. She told me of her latest escapade. ‘I went out with my boss and some of the staff where I work and we all finished up in the Irish pub and after that I didn’t remember any more until I woke up onthe Sunday morning. Straight ahead of me were the curtains and the window and I could feel somebody beside me in bed. I lay there thinking to myself, “I’m in bed with somebody and I don’t recognise those curtains. Please God don’t let me be in bed with my boss.” I slowly turned my head to see who I was sleeping with and it was my ex-boyfriend, Booker. I woke him up and asked him what had happened and he said I was so drunk the night before I couldn’t tell the minicab driver where I lived so to be on the safe side he took me back with him.’
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    Booker became famous overnight. He was an Irishman called Richard Berry who appeared on the TV news in the UK after he killed a pit bull terrier and assaulted its owner. He was sentenced to four years’ imprisonment, spending his time in Wandsworth and Pentonville prisons before finishing his punishment in a Kent jail where he enjoyed himself feeding the pigs.
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    One of Shaunagh’s Irish friends phoned her and asked, ‘Have you got a room spare in your house for a friend of mine? He’s twenty and just over from Derry and he hasn’t found himself any digs yet.’ Shaunagh replied, ‘Someone has just moved out so we have got a vacancy and I should think my landlord would like the extra money, so send him over and we’ll see.’
    The formalities sorted out, Tom moved in. Hegot on well with both girls. They cooked his dinner of an evening and supplied detergent for the washing machine but Tom would rarely pay them.
    Shortly before Shaunagh went on a package holiday to Greece Sharon said to her, ‘Tom is always on that telephone. What he’s doing is phoning up people from a radio show chatline and sometimes he’s on the phone for about half an hour at a time.’ As the telephone was in Shaunagh’s name she was quite concerned and replied, ‘I’ll speak to British Telecom tomorrow and get them to send the itemised bill in earlier just in case he decides to leave.’
    A large white envelope arrived whilst Shaunagh was on holiday. Sharon, realising what it contained, opened it, and had the most terrible shock. There were many detailed sheets showing quite clearly that Tom had phoned people all over the