substitute players
but, not exactly to be used in the event of injury – i.e. head
twisted around a là Exorcists or any other reason for a player
leaving the field in a state of heroic grace. If the visiting team
were particularly rough carnivores and, the odds were against our
home team of mere Arnie/Silverback crosses making an impression,
off they all came grumbling gutturally, yes even the contract
killers who didn’t need a contract, just a victim, such as Sharpo
and, onto the field would go the feminine touch just to even things
up a little. This was an unwritten rule or … no game.
The moustaches
were real as were the hairy legs and, it wasn’t/isn’t at all
unusual (expected) for the women players to bite off part of the
opponents ears after a few of these naïve visiting players had
pulled very, very hard on their top lip facial hair in a grim,
griiiim, (oh dear me!), mistaken attempt to remove it, as part of a
cruel humiliating rugby type stunt. Mike Tyson had obviously seen
8mm black and white footage of Millom Lass League game strategy.
Evander was obviously screened by his parents. This is the first
and only time that Sharpo was ever accused of being a tranny, when
he donned a false Freddie Mercury moustache and tried to join the
girl’s team so he could punch someone. He may have gotten away with
it, but unfortunately, he lost a little concentration beforehand
and while getting changed made the dire mistake of shaving his legs
to fit in; he was spotted immediately i.e. his shapely white pins
against the ladies, erm, well insulated pins ...
And, I will
tell you something M’lud, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, dear
reader, that scene in the original Jurassic Park where, the
Tyrannosaurus Rex is chasing the scientists in the jeep? It would
have been a different story if the Millom Rugby League girls (and
Sharpo, after a re-grow of leg hair) had been on board, on yes
sireeee! A handbrake turn followed by a fucking Barbie that’s what!
It would have been the Rex in the crapper with Sharpo helping pull
down the chip board wall panels, I can tell you.
M’lud: “Mr
Lassut! Language!”
Oh, sorry
M’lud, I got a little carried away there. Adrenaline rush.
M’lud: “That’s
okay, I’ve heard worse in the House of Lords concerning Jeffrey
Archer. Carry on”.
Okay, thank you
M’lud. This particular local sport can also go leaps and bounds
towards an explanation regarding this ‘missing link’ bollo … ehm …
fiasco. The fact is M’lud, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, dear
reader there ain’t no missing link. Millom Rugby League have a
cartload of Anthropologists dreams running around the pitch on a
Saturday afternoon. I mean the men by the way; I wouldn’t dream of
insulting the women, no way, as my words may upset them (especially
if they are on heat and their hormones are all messed up).
Nevertheless!
I’ve seen Wigan Warriors run terrified from the field before the
halftime whistle, which is allowed by the referee, who works in
Millom slaughterhouse, so he erm, ‘understands’. Then they, Wigan,
were too nervous to eat their orange segments, even after seeing
the women’s team eat their quantity of Outspan with juice spraying
relish … without bothering to peel them (the origin of marmalade by
the way boriiiiiing! Zzzzzzz!). The box sometimes ends up in
splinters too during the feeding frenzy which would make a group of
hungry piranhas dining on some unfortunate beast look like camp
tadpoles lapping baby bears porridge. The ladies B team by the way
were away training young Hyenas new techniques to bring down adult
Rhinoceros’, as their parents can’t manage the task. Ahem!
After the half
time relaxation session with the Vitamin C, the Wigan players then
refused to re-enter the arena for the second half because of these
feminine warriors who, now upright again, would make Amazons look
like makeover teams for ‘Gay Eye for the Straight Guy’. They
literally had to be pushed on
but, not exactly to be used in the event of injury – i.e. head
twisted around a là Exorcists or any other reason for a player
leaving the field in a state of heroic grace. If the visiting team
were particularly rough carnivores and, the odds were against our
home team of mere Arnie/Silverback crosses making an impression,
off they all came grumbling gutturally, yes even the contract
killers who didn’t need a contract, just a victim, such as Sharpo
and, onto the field would go the feminine touch just to even things
up a little. This was an unwritten rule or … no game.
The moustaches
were real as were the hairy legs and, it wasn’t/isn’t at all
unusual (expected) for the women players to bite off part of the
opponents ears after a few of these naïve visiting players had
pulled very, very hard on their top lip facial hair in a grim,
griiiim, (oh dear me!), mistaken attempt to remove it, as part of a
cruel humiliating rugby type stunt. Mike Tyson had obviously seen
8mm black and white footage of Millom Lass League game strategy.
Evander was obviously screened by his parents. This is the first
and only time that Sharpo was ever accused of being a tranny, when
he donned a false Freddie Mercury moustache and tried to join the
girl’s team so he could punch someone. He may have gotten away with
it, but unfortunately, he lost a little concentration beforehand
and while getting changed made the dire mistake of shaving his legs
to fit in; he was spotted immediately i.e. his shapely white pins
against the ladies, erm, well insulated pins ...
And, I will
tell you something M’lud, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, dear
reader, that scene in the original Jurassic Park where, the
Tyrannosaurus Rex is chasing the scientists in the jeep? It would
have been a different story if the Millom Rugby League girls (and
Sharpo, after a re-grow of leg hair) had been on board, on yes
sireeee! A handbrake turn followed by a fucking Barbie that’s what!
It would have been the Rex in the crapper with Sharpo helping pull
down the chip board wall panels, I can tell you.
M’lud: “Mr
Lassut! Language!”
Oh, sorry
M’lud, I got a little carried away there. Adrenaline rush.
M’lud: “That’s
okay, I’ve heard worse in the House of Lords concerning Jeffrey
Archer. Carry on”.
Okay, thank you
M’lud. This particular local sport can also go leaps and bounds
towards an explanation regarding this ‘missing link’ bollo … ehm …
fiasco. The fact is M’lud, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, dear
reader there ain’t no missing link. Millom Rugby League have a
cartload of Anthropologists dreams running around the pitch on a
Saturday afternoon. I mean the men by the way; I wouldn’t dream of
insulting the women, no way, as my words may upset them (especially
if they are on heat and their hormones are all messed up).
Nevertheless!
I’ve seen Wigan Warriors run terrified from the field before the
halftime whistle, which is allowed by the referee, who works in
Millom slaughterhouse, so he erm, ‘understands’. Then they, Wigan,
were too nervous to eat their orange segments, even after seeing
the women’s team eat their quantity of Outspan with juice spraying
relish … without bothering to peel them (the origin of marmalade by
the way boriiiiiing! Zzzzzzz!). The box sometimes ends up in
splinters too during the feeding frenzy which would make a group of
hungry piranhas dining on some unfortunate beast look like camp
tadpoles lapping baby bears porridge. The ladies B team by the way
were away training young Hyenas new techniques to bring down adult
Rhinoceros’, as their parents can’t manage the task. Ahem!
After the half
time relaxation session with the Vitamin C, the Wigan players then
refused to re-enter the arena for the second half because of these
feminine warriors who, now upright again, would make Amazons look
like makeover teams for ‘Gay Eye for the Straight Guy’. They
literally had to be pushed on
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