Mercy Me by Margaret A. Graham

don’t think she heard me. “One other thing, Esmeralda. Jim and Sadie brought the plate back and said they liked the pie. They didn’t sit down because they were going out to eat. They asked me if I would like to go with them, but I said no, because I already had my meal fixed.”
    â€œWell, now, Beatrice. That wasn’t so bad after all, was it?”
    â€œNo, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe I’ll find the energy to make another pie and take it up to them.”
    â€œYou do that, Beatrice. I need to go to bed. It’s been a busy day.”
    â€œOkay,” she said, and we hung up.
    I helped myself to a bowl of butter-pecan ice cream and took it out on the porch to get cooled off before going to bed. What a day it had been! I knew I couldn’t stand many more like it.
    I had lost interest in the streetwalker, but I did look to see if she was down there. She wasn’t.
    With the ice cream taken care of, I went inside and got ready for bed. Before turning out the light, I looked down at the streetlight again. The woman still had not shown up.
    I slept pretty well, but I got up a couple of times in the night to go to the bathroom. Every time I got up, I checked the streetlight. The woman didn’t show up all night long. Maybe she’s found another territory, I thought.

12

    All the next day, I thought about what I should write to Beatrice. When I had it all thought out, I sat down and did it. Here’s what I wrote.
    Beatrice, about that fellow Carl, forget about the pigtail for a minute. That can wait. What you need to know right up front is: Is this man a Christian? No need to ask him because whether or not he is he will say he is and you won’t know anything more than you knew before. The only safe way to find out is to watch the way he lives. Check out his language. “Holy hearts make holy tongues,” Splurgeon says. If he can’t say nothing good about other people his heart is not right. Does any corrupt communication come out of his mouth like off-color remarks or swear words? If so, drop him like a hot potato.
    If he passes those tests, the next thing is: Is he honest? It won’t do to just ask him what he would do if he found a wallet with a lot of money in it. To impress you, a liar would give the right answer. You have got to blindside him.
    I scratched that last sentence; Beatrice wouldn’t know what it meant.
    Get him talking about high taxes and ask him what’s the best way to get around paying them. Most men can give you a list of smart ways to cheat the government. If he gives a straight answer, something like, “I wouldn’t know about that,” he is one in a million. Men can’t stand admitting they don’t know something.
    If you determine that he is a Christian, the next thing may not be necessary but with things the way they are nowadays it won’t hurt to check it out. You want to make sure he is not a married man. As I told you on the phone, not wearing a wedding ring is no proof whatsoever a man is not married.
    The way to tell if a man is married is easy. If he has a decent haircut chances are a wife is back of it. Since Carl has that pigtail you might consider it a pretty good sign he is not married.
    If a man is heavy into aftershave and wears a lot of jewelry, he is a man on the prowl, single or married.
    A married man is not available at all times. If he has to pick and choose when he can see you it’s because he has to find a time when his wife is too busy to notice—she’s out of town, at a meeting, or in the hospital. A married man has to touch base at home whenever his wife expects him to so he can’t always plan ahead. If he can’t stay long, chances are she’s on to him and he’s afraid she’ll catch him.
    If he won’t take you to public places where he is likely to be seen with you or if he never introduces you to anybody he knows, he is a married