Mercy

Mercy by Andrea Dworkin Page A

Book: Mercy by Andrea Dworkin Read Free Book Online
Authors: Andrea Dworkin
Tags: Fiction, Literary, General, antique
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bourgeois; like I
    was too spoiled to take it. The pacifists thought if it was bad
    for the prison in the newspapers it was good. But even after
    the pacifists didn’t say, see, these girls hate the War. Even

    these silly girls hate the War. Even the girl w h o ’s stupid
    enough to type our letters and bring us coffee hates the War.
    Even these dumb girls who walked through a door into hell
    hate the War. Even these silly cunts we left in a torture pit
    know ing full well they’d be hurt but so what hate the War.
    They are too stupid to hate us but they hate the War. So stop
    the War because these dregs, these nothings, these no ones,
    these pieces we sent in to be felt up and torn up and have things
    stuck in them hate the War. The peace boys laughed at me
    when they found out I was hurt. It was funny, how some
    bourgeois cunt couldn’t take it. They laughed and they spread
    their legs and they fingered themselves. I w asn’t the one who
    told them. I never told them. I couldn’t speak anym ore at all; I
    was dumb or mute or however you say it, I didn’t have words
    and I w ouldn’t say anything for any reason to anyone because I
    was too hurt and too alone. I got out o f jail after four days and I
    walked on the streets for some days and I said nothing to no
    one until this nonviolence woman found me and made me say
    what happened. She was a tough cookie in her ow n w ay which
    was only half a pose. She cornered me and she w ouldn’t let me
    go until I said what happened. Some words came out and then
    all the ones I had but I didn’t know how to say things, like
    speculum which I had never seen, so I tried to say what
    happened thing by thing, describing because I didn’t know
    what to call things, sometimes even with m y hands showing
    her what I meant, and when it was over she seemed to
    understand. The call girl got a jail sentence because the ju dge
    said she had a history o f prostitution. The pacifists didn’t say
    how she was noble to stand up against the War; or how she
    was reformed or any other bullshit; they just all shivered and
    shook when they found out she had been a call girl; and they
    ju st let her go, quiet, back into hell; thirty days in hell for
    trying to stop a nasty war; and the pacifists didn’t want to
    claim her after that; and they didn’t help her after that; and they

    didn’t want her in demonstrations after that. They let me drift,
    a mute, in the streets, just a bourgeois piece o f shit who
    couldn’t take it; except for the peace woman. She seemed to
    understand everything and she seemed to believe me even
    though I had never heard o f any such thing happening before
    and it didn’t seem possible to me that it had happened at all.
    She said it was very terrible to have such a thing happen. I had
    to try to say each thing or show it with m y hands because I
    couldn’t sum up anything or say anything in general or refer to
    any common knowledge and I didn’t know what things were
    or if they were important and I didn’t know if it was all right
    that they did it to me or not because they did it to everyone
    there, who were mostly whores except for one woman who
    murdered her husband, and they were police and doctors and
    so I thought maybe they were allowed to even though I
    couldn’t stop bleeding but I was afraid to tell anyone, even
    myself, and to m yself I kept saying I had m y period, even after
    fifteen days. She called a newspaper reporter who said so
    what? The newspaper reporter said it happens all the time
    there that women are hurt just so bad or worse and remember
    the woman who was tortured to death and so what was so
    special about this? But the woman said the reporter was wrong
    and it mattered so at first I started to suffocate because the
    reporter said it didn’t matter but then I could breathe again
    because the woman said it mattered and it couldn’t be erased
    and you couldn’t say it was nothing. So I went from this
    woman after this because I

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