Men Who Love Men

Men Who Love Men by William J. Mann

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Authors: William J. Mann
Tags: Fiction, General
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fact—has been quiet these past several years. Running this guesthouse, he’s blossomed, and Jeff’s concurrent success has meant the two of them, finally, are happy and content together.

    At least, they seem happy and content. For, in truth, I often wonder about their contentment. They’ve been together now, off and on, for more than a decade, and it’s clear they aren’t the passionate lovers of their youth. If they were, they wouldn’t require all those boys climbing up their stairs, sometimes with just Jeff, sometimes with just Lloyd, oftentimes with both at the same time. It’s the boys who keep the sexual spark alive between them, I believe. If they gave up the boys, what might happen? I often wonder if it’s the boys who actually keep them together.

    I look at Jeff, sipping his coffee, lost in thought. How had he put it? The man I love loving me enough to want to commit to me for all time. I must admit it is a pretty awesome scenario. What I wouldn’t give for such a thing—and there were times Jeff himself could never have imagined such a future. Once again my mind goes back to those lonely days in Boston, when we sat together poring over his photo albums. But now Lloyd was planning on announcing to the world that he belonged to Jeff and Jeff belonged to him. Quite awesome indeed.

    And now Jeff is feeling— monogamous ? If the boys disappear, what then? I wonder. Is it possible to still get hot over a body you’ve slept beside for sixteen years? Is it possible to ever really have only one person in your life—only one person who fulfills all of your hopes, all of your desires, all of your needs? Does such a One exist?

    I want to believe there is. I want so much to believe in the One. I could have loved Joey—or Daniel—or Lloyd—for all time. I know that. I could have loved them emotionally and spiritually and yes, physically—from the day we met until the day we died. I know that. I feel it in my heart.

    Part of me, deep down, believes that there must be something wrong between Jeff and Lloyd. That they don’t really love each other—at least, they don’t love each other enough . Because if they did, there would be no need for the boys. Twenty-two or forty-two, they’d still be boned at the simple sight of each other. There would be no need for anyone else. If Lloyd had only given me a chance, I could have shown…

    No. I put an end to my thoughts. I can’t allow myself to think that way. It’s not right. Jeff and Lloyd are my best friends. I won’t picture myself in Jeff’s place, standing next to Lloyd saying “I do.”

    Besides, it’s no fun going down that road. All I do is get depressed all over again, and I’m tired of being depressed. Lloyd says, in fact, that getting weary of one’s depression is a good sign that one is coming out of it.

    “Jeff,” I say, drawing close to him, “I think it’s pretty natural that you don’t want to trick while you’re planning for the wedding. It’s actually quite sweet. In fact, you ought to talk about it with Lloyd. Maybe he feels the same way.”

    “Well,” he says, “I just don’t want to scare him off.” He chuckles. “Like suddenly I’m demanding monogamy and becoming this shrew of a wife.”

    “Somehow, I can’t imagine you ever demanding monogamy. And I don’t think he’ll see it that way, either.” I smirk. “Of course, this new attitude of yours does ruin the gift I was planning to get you for your wedding.”

    He lifts an eyebrow. “How so?”

    “I was going to hire Matthew Rush to surprise you on your honeymoon.”

    Matthew Rush is Jeff’s favorite porn star. “Hey,” Jeff says, laughing, “ after the ceremony, anything goes.” He winks at me. “Unfortunately, however, Matthew’s not for hire. Believe me, I’ve checked.”

    “Well, I’m impressed you didn’t sleep with Luke,” I tell him finally. “The way he was throwing himself at you.”

    “At me ? Henry, he slept with you

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