of his mind making it seem impossible to unlock everything, but she
held onto hope. Dr. Sanchez said it was possible, even if not likely. Gretchen
didn’t want him to give up on that, so she opted for patience.
“I keep
thinking there might be someone out there missing me,” John said. “It bothers
me to think I might have parents somewhere, or siblings or a family, who have
no idea what happened to me. I don’t like the idea that I could be here with
you, and people who knew me might be worried and afraid.” He stayed quiet for a
moment before saying, “But maybe there isn’t anybody out there at all. Maybe I
was as alone in the world before the accident as I was after. I’m not sure
which is worse.”
“I doubt
you were alone in the world, John. I’m sure there are people who miss you and
are trying to find you. I’m sure they’re looking for you right now,” Gretchen
said.
At least,
she hoped that was true. Even though John having a family somewhere may take
him away from her, Gretchen hated to think of him being alone.
“Then where
are they,” John asked. The quiet seriousness he spoke with made it clear he had
been thinking about this for a while. “If there are people out there looking
for me, why haven’t they found me yet?”
“John, it’s
only been a week. If you were just passing through New Mexico they may not know
where you disappeared. It will take a while longer for them to figure out where
you are.”
What could
be worse for him than losing all his memories and realizing that it didn’t
really matter because he didn’t have anyone in his life worth remembering
anyway? Both Gretchen’s hands looped around his shoulders and she lowered her
head very gently to his.
“If I had
anybody who cared about me, wouldn’t I have called them while I was driving, or
at least told them where I was going? They would have at least known the route
I was taking and known where to look. Getting left for dead in the middle of
the road should have been easy enough to find out about,” he said darkly. “If
anyone was looking, I think they would have found me by now.”
Sighing,
Gretchen hugged him tighter. “That may not be true. You’ll just have to be
patient. Either we’ll find them, or they’ll find you. Give it some time.”
“I don’t
know, Gretchen. I think I’ve lost who I was, and I don’t think I’ll ever get
that back,” he said.
A week ago,
Gretchen had been happy living alone, but she had friends and parents who cared
about her. She was alone in her house, but not in her life. Could John have
really been so solitary in life?
“Whether
you were alone before, or not,” Gretchen said, “you aren’t now. And you never
have to be alone again.”
John leaned
his head against hers, and said so quietly Gretchen almost didn’t hear him, “I
hope you’re right.”
Chapter Fifteen
The Interview
Two weeks
after being left for dead in the middle of the desert, John sat on Gretchen’s couch
staring nervously at a camera crew and a perfectly made up reporter. Fidgeting
with the collar of the dress shirt Gretchen had bought him, he waited for the
interview to start. Gretchen sat next to John looking both excited and nervous
at the same time. He was glad she made him go through with this.
The weeks
sitting alone at the house while Gretchen worked had given John a lot of time
to think, probably too much time. After getting over his initial panic attacks
at being alone the first week, he felt himself bouncing between depression and
hope. The more he thought, the less hope he had. Someone should have found
me by now if they’re really looking , was John’s constant thought.
Gretchen’s buoyant hope was hard to overpower, and kept him from falling too
far into depression. She wanted John to believe the interview would work. She
wanted him to hope.
John
believed the interview was a waste of time, but he couldn’t bear drowning her hopes. So they sat on the couch
held onto hope. Dr. Sanchez said it was possible, even if not likely. Gretchen
didn’t want him to give up on that, so she opted for patience.
“I keep
thinking there might be someone out there missing me,” John said. “It bothers
me to think I might have parents somewhere, or siblings or a family, who have
no idea what happened to me. I don’t like the idea that I could be here with
you, and people who knew me might be worried and afraid.” He stayed quiet for a
moment before saying, “But maybe there isn’t anybody out there at all. Maybe I
was as alone in the world before the accident as I was after. I’m not sure
which is worse.”
“I doubt
you were alone in the world, John. I’m sure there are people who miss you and
are trying to find you. I’m sure they’re looking for you right now,” Gretchen
said.
At least,
she hoped that was true. Even though John having a family somewhere may take
him away from her, Gretchen hated to think of him being alone.
“Then where
are they,” John asked. The quiet seriousness he spoke with made it clear he had
been thinking about this for a while. “If there are people out there looking
for me, why haven’t they found me yet?”
“John, it’s
only been a week. If you were just passing through New Mexico they may not know
where you disappeared. It will take a while longer for them to figure out where
you are.”
What could
be worse for him than losing all his memories and realizing that it didn’t
really matter because he didn’t have anyone in his life worth remembering
anyway? Both Gretchen’s hands looped around his shoulders and she lowered her
head very gently to his.
“If I had
anybody who cared about me, wouldn’t I have called them while I was driving, or
at least told them where I was going? They would have at least known the route
I was taking and known where to look. Getting left for dead in the middle of
the road should have been easy enough to find out about,” he said darkly. “If
anyone was looking, I think they would have found me by now.”
Sighing,
Gretchen hugged him tighter. “That may not be true. You’ll just have to be
patient. Either we’ll find them, or they’ll find you. Give it some time.”
“I don’t
know, Gretchen. I think I’ve lost who I was, and I don’t think I’ll ever get
that back,” he said.
A week ago,
Gretchen had been happy living alone, but she had friends and parents who cared
about her. She was alone in her house, but not in her life. Could John have
really been so solitary in life?
“Whether
you were alone before, or not,” Gretchen said, “you aren’t now. And you never
have to be alone again.”
John leaned
his head against hers, and said so quietly Gretchen almost didn’t hear him, “I
hope you’re right.”
Chapter Fifteen
The Interview
Two weeks
after being left for dead in the middle of the desert, John sat on Gretchen’s couch
staring nervously at a camera crew and a perfectly made up reporter. Fidgeting
with the collar of the dress shirt Gretchen had bought him, he waited for the
interview to start. Gretchen sat next to John looking both excited and nervous
at the same time. He was glad she made him go through with this.
The weeks
sitting alone at the house while Gretchen worked had given John a lot of time
to think, probably too much time. After getting over his initial panic attacks
at being alone the first week, he felt himself bouncing between depression and
hope. The more he thought, the less hope he had. Someone should have found
me by now if they’re really looking , was John’s constant thought.
Gretchen’s buoyant hope was hard to overpower, and kept him from falling too
far into depression. She wanted John to believe the interview would work. She
wanted him to hope.
John
believed the interview was a waste of time, but he couldn’t bear drowning her hopes. So they sat on the couch
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