cared
for
her. Wanted her in ways he had never wanted another woman. It wasn’t love. It couldn’t be that. But it was something outside of his experience, it was strong, and he wondered if he could control it.
He should exorcise those feelings now, but how could he, when he only wanted to take her pain away?
Silently, Lily moved past him and retrieved her bag from the drawer of her desk. Anger, pride and a great woundedness surrounded her as she shut down her computer. ‘I don’t want to talk about this any more. I can’t think about it. I — I have to go.’
Zach wanted to find some way to get through to her and ease her hurt. But her hands around the straps of her handbag were clenched to whiteness, her expression haunted, and he knew now wasn’t the time. He stood back and let her leave.
‘Naturally, now that you know my situation, you’ll feel it’s best if I remove myself from your office immediately.’ Lily had thought long and hard about how to handle this interview with Zach. She had lain awake much of the night, plotting and planning, and crying into her pillow, while Jemima batted at her head with a kindly paw, as though to say,
what’s wrong? How can I help?
Dawn had found Lily dry-eyed and determined. She had phoned Zach at his home. Had asked him to meet her at a coffee shop near his work at eight a.m., and had disconnected before he could ask questions.
Now they sat here, their knees almost touching beneath the small square table. Men and women in business clothing bustled in, bustled out, coffee in paper cups clutched in their hands as they anticipated the first caffeine fix of the day.
Few sat, and she and Zach had found a table tucked into a corner away from the general bustle. The coffee shop was redolent with the scents of ground coffee-beans, vanilla, and sweet pastries. Lily nursed her mocha caramel latte and knew she shouldn’t have chosen it.
The warm, sweet smells inside the shop might promise enticing, creamy delights, but her rebellious stomach had other ideas and was twisted quite firmly into resistant knots. Lily would have been hard pressed to choke down a regular coffee at the moment, let alone this sweet, cream-topped version.
‘That’s why you wanted to meet early here this morning? To say you want to leave?’ Zach pushed aside his sensible, simple cappuccino and examined her with a deep, penetrating gaze that seemed to want to see right into the very heart of her.
It wasn’t fair that over the top of all the other, stronger scents she could detect his aftershave lotion.
That
made her stomach tighten in quite a different way.
‘Why?’ He went on. ‘Just because I know there’s a reason you write yourself a few sticky notes to ensure you stay on track?’
‘It’s a lot more than a few reminder notes!’ Oh, she had been right to want to replace herself. If he had agreed then, she would have been gone before he’d known anything about her past. Already she could see a difference in the way he looked at her.
Zach leaned forward. His gaze seemed to contain a great deal of understanding — the pitying kind!
‘I won’t pretend that what I learned yesterday doesn’t change things.’ The softened tone of his voice confirmed her fears. He did pity her.
When he spoke, it only made it worse. ‘I’ll treat you differently from now on.’
‘You don’t feel the same way about me.’ How
could
he still want her, now that he knew of her condition? ‘I understand, Zach. You don’t have to explain.’
‘Thank you. It’s hard to articulate…’ He watched her silently for a moment, before relief slowly bloomed across his face. ‘You have my respect, Lily. I think you’re amazing, coping the way you do. This is very mature of you. I just…I don’t want either of us to feel uncomfortable.’
This was just what every girl didn’t want to hear. Next thing, Zach would say he hoped they would stay friends. She decided to head that one off before it happened.
for
her. Wanted her in ways he had never wanted another woman. It wasn’t love. It couldn’t be that. But it was something outside of his experience, it was strong, and he wondered if he could control it.
He should exorcise those feelings now, but how could he, when he only wanted to take her pain away?
Silently, Lily moved past him and retrieved her bag from the drawer of her desk. Anger, pride and a great woundedness surrounded her as she shut down her computer. ‘I don’t want to talk about this any more. I can’t think about it. I — I have to go.’
Zach wanted to find some way to get through to her and ease her hurt. But her hands around the straps of her handbag were clenched to whiteness, her expression haunted, and he knew now wasn’t the time. He stood back and let her leave.
‘Naturally, now that you know my situation, you’ll feel it’s best if I remove myself from your office immediately.’ Lily had thought long and hard about how to handle this interview with Zach. She had lain awake much of the night, plotting and planning, and crying into her pillow, while Jemima batted at her head with a kindly paw, as though to say,
what’s wrong? How can I help?
Dawn had found Lily dry-eyed and determined. She had phoned Zach at his home. Had asked him to meet her at a coffee shop near his work at eight a.m., and had disconnected before he could ask questions.
Now they sat here, their knees almost touching beneath the small square table. Men and women in business clothing bustled in, bustled out, coffee in paper cups clutched in their hands as they anticipated the first caffeine fix of the day.
Few sat, and she and Zach had found a table tucked into a corner away from the general bustle. The coffee shop was redolent with the scents of ground coffee-beans, vanilla, and sweet pastries. Lily nursed her mocha caramel latte and knew she shouldn’t have chosen it.
The warm, sweet smells inside the shop might promise enticing, creamy delights, but her rebellious stomach had other ideas and was twisted quite firmly into resistant knots. Lily would have been hard pressed to choke down a regular coffee at the moment, let alone this sweet, cream-topped version.
‘That’s why you wanted to meet early here this morning? To say you want to leave?’ Zach pushed aside his sensible, simple cappuccino and examined her with a deep, penetrating gaze that seemed to want to see right into the very heart of her.
It wasn’t fair that over the top of all the other, stronger scents she could detect his aftershave lotion.
That
made her stomach tighten in quite a different way.
‘Why?’ He went on. ‘Just because I know there’s a reason you write yourself a few sticky notes to ensure you stay on track?’
‘It’s a lot more than a few reminder notes!’ Oh, she had been right to want to replace herself. If he had agreed then, she would have been gone before he’d known anything about her past. Already she could see a difference in the way he looked at her.
Zach leaned forward. His gaze seemed to contain a great deal of understanding — the pitying kind!
‘I won’t pretend that what I learned yesterday doesn’t change things.’ The softened tone of his voice confirmed her fears. He did pity her.
When he spoke, it only made it worse. ‘I’ll treat you differently from now on.’
‘You don’t feel the same way about me.’ How
could
he still want her, now that he knew of her condition? ‘I understand, Zach. You don’t have to explain.’
‘Thank you. It’s hard to articulate…’ He watched her silently for a moment, before relief slowly bloomed across his face. ‘You have my respect, Lily. I think you’re amazing, coping the way you do. This is very mature of you. I just…I don’t want either of us to feel uncomfortable.’
This was just what every girl didn’t want to hear. Next thing, Zach would say he hoped they would stay friends. She decided to head that one off before it happened.
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